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Sexting/ online dating on a reboot

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by kumma123, Feb 3, 2018.

  1. kumma123

    kumma123 Fapstronaut

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    I would like to find out what people's thoughts are on sexting and dating one-line while on a reboot? I was thinking its a little too close to porn considering it's still getting aroused by images on a screen.
     
  2. Archie3325

    Archie3325 Fapstronaut

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    One of my main problems I had was sexting and I do consider it as porn since it's no different than being aroused by pixels on a screen like porn. Are you currently dating someone online that you know? If not, I highly recommend to stay away from sexting. In my opinion, sexting just encourages PMO and you don't need that.
     
  3. Stay away from that, is my opinion. Focus on real world interaction and dating. Instead of sexting, try having sex.
     
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  4. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Neither are good.
     
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  5. Sexting—no. Dating can be done but I think it would be easier to reboot w/o dating. Reboot, then date. If you do date—go slow.
     
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    My comment on the no dating was not because I think it could be a trigger to look at pictures, although for some it certainly could, particularly on tinder. Dating, in general but more so online involves a ton of rejection, and as I have posted before even the most stable individuals not dealing with an addiction have a hard time dealing with the constant rejection. In early reboot you are in a very emotional place,and it is VERY likely that being rejected will cause a relapse. It’s all well and good to say take things slowly. But I have read comments from men on here devastated because they got rejected after a first date, or a lack of a return email. And in this day and age, things don’t go slowly. It is very hard to online date and not move into relationship or sex very quickly. He also has to be ready to reveal his addiction, recovery and reboot to whomever he is dating, and often so early on, addicts are not willing to do so. He needs to get himself straight first before he starts dating. Dating in early recovery even with other addictions is not recommended. Many addicts often transfer their addiction to the other person or become overly attached, it’s counter productive.
     
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  7. An extremely valid point.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  8. Online dating is a total and complete nightmare! It's probably worse than porn.
    I feel like a fucking telemarketer.
    Message 100 girls get 10 responses 3 dates 1 lay. Fuck that noise! It takes the fun out of dating and turns it into a stress fest. I've done it, I've had success but it's not fun. It feels like work.
    There's something amazing about sitting at a bar, and striking up a convo and over the course of an hour you found a date!
    Granted, that's not gonna happen everytime but hell! You're better off sitting there shooting the shit with a buddy or the bartender or whatever then sending stupid emails on plenty of fucking fish!
    Online dating to me is not much different than online porn.
    Don't tell me I'm only dude that MO to a girls dating profile...
     
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  9. Frank884

    Frank884 Fapstronaut

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    My understanding is that the community is split regarding whether dating/sex is helpful or not during a reboot. I personally believe that sex/dating are great, especially since it's a way to channel your energy away from PMO. But why would you ever sext?! It is never helpful to suggest this to any girl you don't know well, regardless of whether you met her online or in real life. Man up, get the girl on a date and take her home.
     
  10. lamstronger

    lamstronger Fapstronaut

    Don't sext, it can lead to relapse
     
    kumma123 likes this.
  11. thebests

    thebests New Fapstronaut

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    just stay awa from it , it is not going to help it will give you fake feelings then u will get angry and u know things will get bad
     
  12. Frank884

    Frank884 Fapstronaut

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    It won't even help you sleep with the girl...
     
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  13. gripofdeath

    gripofdeath Fapstronaut

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    There are 3 women I'm in contact with that regularly send me naked pictures and sometimes they request pics.... two are long distance FWBs and the other is long distance and a possible relationship down the road. During my reboot I have continued to get pictures from them but amazingly I have managed to not look. They send pics and I send back compliments without looking... I don't want to tell them to not send them because firstly, I don't want to let them know that I'm rebooting, and secondly, it's women sending me naked pics, and even if I'm not looking, I can't tell a woman to stop sending me naked pictures, lol... I'm not built that way.

    One of the women actually wants to have phone sex this weekend while her kid is out of the house. My plan is to talk her through it and not touch myself at all. I've done this before when I wasn't rebooting (cause honestly, phone sex doesn't do it for me) just to get her off, so the not touching myself won't be a problem. The two possible issues I am seeing are that she may request pictures and she may want to skype. If she wants either of those two things I will have to come clean about my reboot even though I don't want to.

    Not sure if this goes against nofap in some way, but I won't be fapping, so hopefully not. I may get aroused, but that in and of itself would be interesting because my main reason for starting my reboot was that to get hard over the past few years, increasingly, I've had to put in a lot of "hand" work... so if talking her through it makes me hard, I'll actually consider that a bit of a win. Just won't touch it.
     
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  14. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    "Sexting" for me usually ended up with me and some girl masturbating at the same time on cam via skype, sending nudes back and forth, etc. Just be careful... "dating" online is okay IMO, just take it slow and get to know the person.
     
  15. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    Nogo
     
  16. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    I’ve done it and it turned to something real We were in a relationship before she left we had sex before she left when she left we had phone sex and eventually she came back and we have sex again so in your case I don’t know it might lead to something but I will look for a real girlfriend who has better proximity
     
  17. I agree with you. I was having problems with that.
     
  18. donuts24

    donuts24 Fapstronaut

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    Whats up man, I get it, I actually did the who sexting and sending pics, receiving nudes, and the orgasm thing last night. I'm not really proud of it by no means, and I'm not really too deep into this thing.

    I definitely felt bad and shameful this morning, even sorta while it was going on I felt bad. Mainly cause I knew what I was doing. anyways, today just was frustrating causes it brings up that old stuff of isolation, not wanting to talk to people and just general feel of little to no enthusiasm or excitement.

    I'm similar to you in this thing, just a touch over thirty days but I think I'm going to keep moving forward. I don't think I'm going to count it against me, more so as a learning experience that can definitely bring up the urges to use again and all that stuff

    best,

    donuts24
     
  19. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Dont date online and avoid sexting. If ur already talking to a few girls. Meet em soon then get off those horrible apps that exploit u.
     
  20. donuts24

    donuts24 Fapstronaut

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    yea man, i agree

    it deffinately increases my lustfulness and what not

    like that shit peaks man, cravings kick in and what not

    i havent watched pornograpphy which is cool, but the cravings deff kick it hardcore

    thank you for the reach out shinshoo

    best,

    donuts24
     

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