Sex with "okay"

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Maverick47, Feb 25, 2019.

  1. Maverick47

    Maverick47 Fapstronaut

    The key to my last post was "I would hate to lose someone who has such great qualities due to a temporary porn addiction conflicting what really attracts me. I would also hate to keep her in a relationship that I should end due to lack of that strong physical attraction."

    I don't know for sure which it is. I am leaning more towards genuine attraction, but I don't know. I am not purposely messing up her life. I assume you are suggesting that I should trust myself with the lack of attraction and just end it.
  2. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    I don’t know you except by what you’ve written, but it sounds to me like you are not certain why you’re in a relationship or what you’re looking for. Until you figure that out, it seems like you shouldn’t be involved with anyone.
    Butterfly1988 and Maverick47 like this.
  3. Maverick47

    Maverick47 Fapstronaut

    I like this response. I'll think it over and make a decision within this week. Thank you
    Healed! likes this.
  4. Butterfly1988

    Butterfly1988 Fapstronaut

    If you quit porn, you’re going to go through a lot of changes that may be easier to grapple with alone. If after a certain amount of days, you feel the attraction coming back, you can always see if the relationship will work now that you’re not clouded with porn brain.

    My bf was always attracted to me, but he has also a fetish with extremely large breasts which I do not have (mine are medium sized) and, at one point, he told me that my breasts just don’t turn him on like the breasts in porn. After being 6months + clean, he has changed his mind and says no one and no body part turns him on like I do. He actually says he finds large breasts not proportional, saggy, and disgusting. But, it took him a lot of time to get there and to get there on his own.

    I suggest you take the time to get there on your own, too. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be but right now you’re being selfish by holding on to her bc she has qualities you want while looking elsewhere (thinking about your ex, etc) because there are other qualities you want. A woman is not a car that you can custom make. You gotta decide which qualities matter most to you and then be 100% faith (mind, body, and spirit) to which lever girl you choose.
  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    There is a bit of you that reminds me of myself OP, and that is not good for any of us both. You remind me when I was trying to change my ex-girlfriend, now that she is gone I always think about how perfect she actually was. Be grateful that you have someone, but considering your behavior, maybe it is the best for you and for her to end it.
  6. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

    Whats ur erection quality?
  7. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    Depends on how you define that. I can get an erection just from touching myself, without any visual stimilus at all. i can maintain that erection with slow masturbation for 20-30 minutes, while masturbating with light touch with a condom on, using coconut oil. I haven't been with a girl of my choice for over 9 months and not for 3 and a half months since i quit porn at the beginning of this year.

    The sensitivity has definitely increased, and the responsiveness as well.
    I will find a girl to try it out with sooner or later. I'll post an update once that happens, but i have a good feeling about that.
  8. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut


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