Sex fantasies feel real, actual sex felt unreal

Reminds me of this clip someone posted on the forum a long time ago:



Another explanation might be that you are so caught up in your head that you don't pay attention to your own body and how you're feeling and experiencing the moment. Quitting porn is also about reconnecting with your inner being. Recovery is possible, I know it for a fact.

 

I suggest you to read books of Phil Zimbardo about challenges for masculinity nowaday. He discuss changes in technology, better availability of porn, video games and so on.

Be aware of blaming women for their way of dressing up and for other attributes of a modern culture. Thinking in such way make you to blamed them, not inappropiate men behavior and promote women objectification. Objectification of women is a strong bond keeping you close to porn.

 

Disagree. Do you really think most western women are such that? A lot of women are a highly qualified employees, excellent persons with a variety of passions and interests, loving wifes, girlfriends or stunning scientists and artists. Of course some young women are focused on their look and so on, mostly because men are expecting this from them.

I don't like provocative clothes, but yoga pants? They are just comfortable, as well as shorts or top in summer. It's completely wrong to forbid other people choosing comfortable clothes, because somebody else can be aroused by it.

What is more, girls have right to look attractive and it is nothing wrong about this. I am handsome and like being in shape and care for myself. I like being attractiveand just feel better looking good. I think girls have the same right and this it totally ok.

Some women yes, and men too, but I don't think it is the majority. Some guys post photos from gym and so on. The same situation. There is why I simply don't use instagram or watch streamers.

I don't think make-up is objectifying anybody. They want to look good, what does not mean that they are just objects.

Remember, porn and modern culture is mostly responsible for objectification. Most womens are not like that, so you need to start noticing other things in women.

 

Maybe a stupid question: Why shouldn't they wear these clothes?

 

I know a lot of western women going without make-up at daily basis. I know also plenty of girls choosing light make-up. Both categories both in the cities and countryside. Agree for TV and magazines, but there not only make-up is used, but also photo manipulation, special light.

Compared to other societies, western women are more equal to men and girl there doesn't need to be afraid that somebody will attack her physicaly or verbaly, because they don't like her pants. It is mostly about freedom, not attention. Do you think that women should not wear shorts in summer to meet her friends on some bar or restaurant?

What is wrong with shape of legs or butt? Do women need to hide shape of legs? Shirts are forbidden? What about guys playing soccer? It is something wrong with them running in shorts and t-shirts? Why can we, men, can wear t-shirts presenting our arms, but yoga pants are bad?

I can't see how lipstick suggest sexual arousal. For me it is just make-up, women use it to feel more comfortable and attractive. It is okay. I choose clothes to look good and I am not fat because I don't want to look fat. What is the problem there? I think you should also avoid using words like "goods" for people's bodies. It is objectification.

 

Yes, but make-up and generaly looking good does not mean automaticaly that women want people to be aroused by her. A lot of girls want to look pretty and attractive (yes, I do not connect this word with sexuality only), but do not want to manipulate guys or encourage them to sex.

Yoga pants are quite comfortable I think.

The cyclists use very tight pants and I know guys who ride a bicycle a lot with such clothes. For me, absolutely ok. And frankly, I haven't noticed their balls or penis in this pants yet.

Depends on the length of the skirt and the context.

Depends on sports. I haven't noticed differences between tightness of women and men clothes. But you know, even in loose shorts you can see almost whole leg of some player. Isn't this bad?

 

My alarm goes off when a man argues what’s appropriate for women to wear. Thanks GaryMayor for your reasoned arguments, I agree with your points.

My take: in an ideal, porn-free world, it wouldn’t matter if we all walked naked out there, since we wouldn’t objectify the human body as such. The human body shits and leaks and exudes regardless of gender, and perhaps we could appreciate the body more as a natural part of life were we not making such a taboo of it, and therefore fetishizing it by way of PMO.

 

I might come across as excessively feminist for some, but for me these “standards” and “decency” are slippery terms, perhaps rules set by a patriarchal society where, in worst cases, people get raped for “asking for it” if wearing certain kind of clothes. I know this is not what you’re saying, but, in my humble opinion, it’s the viewer’s problem if he can’t handle his lust (induced by porn). I don’t know. After, say, a month’s rigorous training at the gym, I sure feel better in my body and see no reason why not to be proud of what I’ve achieved and let my biceps show in public or whatever, without the indication that people should lust after me.

Didn’t mean to do that, but slutshaming is so deeply entrenched in our culture that, yes, it personally sets off my alarms.

Also, I just want to add that none of this is meant personally toward you or anybody – this is just me thinking as I type, and enjoying the thoughts the discussion provokes.

 

Do you care for your look? Do you want to look good? If yes, why? To get womens' attention and mens' envy?

I have already heard different opinions, but ok. The friend of mine use them to walk in home, because they are comfty.

In my gym a lot of guys wear top tanks, which doesn't cover their arms, neck, and sometimes a big part of chest. Also I met sometimes guys in really tight compressive hotwear.

I don't want to argue with you what is bad and what is not. I think everybody has own will and brain, so people should do what they want.

One thing I want to ask you for is a moment to think about one question. Is it normal that you feel aroused by stranger's legs in tight pants?
It is normal to be not able to resist lust after seeing somebody's cleavage? When I have been using porn a lot then I felt strong emotions, lust and need to masturbate after. The affect of stranger body to my behavior and emotions was totally disproportionate and weird. Porn make us more sensitive to other body and sometimes led to false belief, that others are responsible for that. Normal man is not aroused by legs of women he don't know. Simply as that. Wish you all the best, friend Please think about how porn changes your reactions and blieves.

 

I think there are two conflicting interests when it comes to clothing:
1) you're free to choose what you wear (not totally)
2) wearing 'naughty' stuff will arouse others because there are many out there who are not able to stay cool.

These two things need to be balanced and I know many who take into account no. 2 but I also know many who don't cause they feel it's the 'problem' or 'fault' of those getting aroused - not their's and they don't want to be limited in their freedom of clothing.