Sex after weeks and months on nofap

I think you have to be able to speak about things. If she can not understand what you are doing and wants to leave maybe she is not the right person for you. I mean, in an ideal relationship, you should not have to do something you do not want.

 

Save game, change condom and resume game...

 

Don't worry about it. Just smile, say something about she turns you on a lot. Focus on her pleasure for a bit. And get ready for second round.

 

Maybe when the time comes just get that initial climax out your system (if it comes extremely quick which it might even not) then go for another round. You should have no problems on the second go. If she judges you for finishing quick then you might wanna reconsider getting serious with her anyways.

 

Just have sex more then one time. If the sex is really good you can spend the whole night together. In the beginning with my GF we had a night with 8 times sex lol

 

Hey @berggg, you are about my age. I don’t know if you have had premature problems in your past, but here is my story:

So I’ve never had a problem being premature. (Well, once back in my very early 20’s but that was a special case). Anyway, PMO for some 25 years for me makes me last too long, or unable to finish in a traditional way. Most girls I’ve been with find it hot early in the relationship and later on, they get all self conscious about it, like they couldn’t do it for me. Even when they were warned previously.

I had sex for the first time on NoFap on (I think) day 34 a few days ago. I was nervous, but probably because this was a new girl. I’m proud to say that I preformed completely “normally”. I was quicker than I have been in many many years but not so quick that it was weird or premature at all. I was focused on her and my mind wasn’t elsewhere. And there were no feelings of guilt that would have come with a relapse or a one night stand.

So I feel like my rebooting went very well and I am personally happy with the results, although I know my struggle is far from over. Anyway, I just wanted to share my story hoping you would find it encouraging.

 

Hi guys, I got on here to tell my story a bit and noticed this particular thread so thought would post here as just had sex for first time whilst NoFap and experience was quite relevant:

Since I've stopped watching porn (still masturbate/orgasm as didn't identify the latter two as a problem for me), I've been left with a sense of loneliness and basically boredom. It's kind of like "oh shit, this is kind of what life is...especially when you don't have a quick, temporary escape route". It's a general ennui. I bring that up as it's relevant to this particular situation. I've always been decently "good with the ladies" until I noticed the same thing that happened to @Burrich1 - good, hot sex at the beginning of relationship, then very quickly, devolving into too long a session without orgasming - causing relationships or partners to feel self-conscious (and then awkwardness or break-up inevitably ensued!). Badly timed, but i started NoFap right when I also decided to have sex with only one partner at a time as thought that was the more mature behavior to be engaged in. Not sure if the women can sense it, but the one person I mentally chose to say "this is going to be my one partner for the time being", immediately left me as she "wasn't feeling it". Hmmm...coincidence?? Weirdly, althiough I'm more stable and aware right now, it's almost like my inner-self of loneliness was allowed to come out, and my woman partner could read it. I view it as beneficial long-term because it's probably all sort of some cathartic release. Right, back to it.

I recently started seeing a new lady. Beautiful, engaging, amazing. We had dinner and on first date suggested we go back to hers. I said "ok cool, but let's not have sex". (This is because I'm now so weirded out by myself that I just won't know what will happen.) ANyways, we go back to hers, and yeah, she's beautiful engaging amazing, so Lil' Giguntor obviously wants to come play (I just made that penis name up by the way). I throw my own guidance out the window and say "yeah, let's get those condoms". I was so excited that I came in c.34.2 seconds! That hasn't happened in years! It's good as it's a new part of me. But it's bad as I definitely didn't do my "fair share". The lady and I are still talking and I'm doing my best to get a 2nd shot. However, this whole time in between dates I've just been thinking: "god, if only she can see what I'm really capable of" and it makes me, in all seriousness, very insecure that I prematurely ejaculated. But...I'm gonna go with it. My gut tells me all the loneliness, self-doubt, and unfortunately, quick ejaculations are probably all for the better in the long-term. Thanks for reading, wish me luck!!

 

I would say yes it is. I don't know about you, but I was M&O way before I ever had sex the first time. A lot of M&O. Then, when I started having sex, I was more likely to finish but I would still last quite a while. Then when P got thrown into the mix, thats probably when I became less likely to finish in a traditional manner. Anyway, I suspect if we didn't M&O quite so much back then, we wouldn't have always taken so long.

Yeah, I think it totally makes sense.

And if you think you can quit P and not M, than more power to you. All I know is that I quit smoking twice in my life. The first time I quit for 3 months. Then I thought it would be ok to just occasionally smoke cigars. Yeah. Within a week I was smoking again. the second time I quit a few years later, an haven't smoked anything in over 18 years. I know if I had one with a friend even after all this time, I would be hooked again. But that's just me knowing myself. P & M go hand in hand with me. If I ever bothered to M i would personally be back to P within a week. Plus I like the benefits of no more P&M. Less social anxiety, and feeling more confident being the two biggest.

 

Hey @arg26 one premature O is east to brush off with a girl. in fact, you can probably use it to your advantage. You are honest in saying it hasn't happened to you before, and you were just really into it, she may be flattered. Especially if you finished the job in some other way when it happened. Remember though, the being really capable is no good when lil giguntor just gets you in trouble by not finishing for you.

I also have to wonder if the loneliness and self doubt 39 days in is because you didn't also quit M. It may be worth a try. My confidence kicked in just in time to get me out and meet new people, which I think dispelled the lonlyness. I only ever felt that with the P&M and dealing with all the social anxiety I experienced along with it.

 

Great idea! For sure, just plan on going multiple rounds. If you end up going 4 or 5 times! Then she's the one! Remember average refractory periods for guys is 30-45 minutes. Have fun!

 

Thanks for sharing and good luck! Sounds like you will have a second shot! Don't worry bro. You got this! Happy Healthy sexing!

 

Yes but he means masturbating and orgasm without porn.

 

Bro. Good idea. I'm going for it. Day 1 of no M starts now. Will be fully loaded, soon enough

 

Yeah. That’s exactly what I ment. To be more clear, because I spent my entire sexually actively life having dealt with M&O first and then PMO, I was saying I’m pretty sure my ability to last so long and then not being able to finish is tied in. I never had a period without a lot of M in my youth to know what sex would have been like as far as lasting a normal amount of time and being able to always finish with a girl each time I tried to.

Good luck! I hope you are as happy with your results as I have been with mine.

 

Don’t worry yourself about premature ejaculation. Especially if she is right for you or even a decent woman she will understand.

1- women get this stuff, image what it was like back in the day when there was no porn? I image guys would cum almost instantly upon seeing a naked woman!

2- She might be flattered, especially if you are up front with it. “Sorry babe you just turn me on so much”. Image if she we to orgasm really soon. Woukd you be disappointed? I wouldn’t be, I would be thrilled I turned my partner on so much.

3- If you’re afraid she will be disappointed, get and read the book “she comes first”. And learn how to use your tongue. I suffer from the opposite problem. PMO has made it so I can’t orgasm at all from sex or even oral. I can get hard sometimes, but it is really not fun. So I have learned to use my tongue to please my partner instead. But that is one of the reasons I am on this journey.

 

@Lavivrus, good luck with the journey. 13 Days is good. Get to 30. you'll start feeling major differences. Then go for 90.