Sex addiction, blue pills & desensitisation

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Sense, Feb 19, 2019.

  1. Sense

    Sense Fapstronaut

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    I've had sex with a couple of hundred women in my life -- that's been alongside my porn addiction and included dating websites and so on. I'm now a middle aged guy and have pretty much done it all.

    I started watching porn as a teen, went on to actually sell it in the days of VHS and, well I ended up exposed to way more than most people did in the 80s and 90s - internet porn just made it easier.

    I'm not promiscuous like I was in my thirties, but the high sex drive from those days has absolutely taken a toll on me.

    So, ED...

    I was already desensitised by years of acting out, but for the large part I arrogantly blamed the women for not being good enough -- I didn't consider it as ED, I didn't own responsibility and instead just moaned about women not turning me on anymore. I somehow prided myself on my staying power.

    Then came the V...

    About ten years ago I discovered the dreaded blue pills -- the experience of this after years of sexual acting out was amazing -- I could get turned on in situations where I normally wouldn't be able to perform!

    This is the issue now -- although I've just reset, I've had some long stretches of abstinence (a few months at a time) and every time I've had sex I'm still resorting to the blue pills.

    With the last gf I tried to wean myself off, and (while I didn't tell her) I did notice some improvement -- we did have sex without it a few times and I took a lower dose than ever (25mg) but there's still an element of shame about this that I don't seem to be able to work through.

    After a while I started taking more, just to push my body harder - like, when I wasn't in the mood it would help me to perform anyway.

    It's not a physical thing, I know this, but something seems to block me mentally.

    It's frustrating, and I wonder if anyone here has had, or is going through, a similar experience?
     
  2. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    sounds like you need a reboot, and i would recommend staying away from sex the whole time.
     
  3. Sense

    Sense Fapstronaut

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    I did 4-5 months of a complete celibacy reboot a couple of years back -- with the only break in that being a few dates that never went beyond kissing etc.

    In fact, over the last two years, I've had more abstinence than I have sexual activity -- I think I need more than just a reboot, but right now I agree it's the best I can do with the knowledge I have. :)
     
  4. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    how are things like your diet?, sleep, workout, discipline, all those things are important for having a healthy body and mind.
     
  5. Sense

    Sense Fapstronaut

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    Everything except for self-discipline - which seems to have broken down after my most recent breakup. But I'm starting again so hopefully that will approve.
     
    BravelyKegger likes this.
  6. Anita88

    Anita88 Fapstronaut

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    I'm actually not sure in my suggestion but what if don't get rid of drugs at all. If you don't have a gf for the moment, don't take pills. When you are in relationships don't take spontaneous decisions. Try to first get used to a girl, try to find some mental connection with her. Try to make friendship first. Then take a pill if needed, because you can't manage without sex. But try to find a moment to say the truth. Maybe if it would be trustful relationships you'll fell yourself in another way, maybe it would be the relief, if not you can say what's happening and she would help you to understand that you can cope with the problem without those blue pill. Because as you said it is a problem in your head. But definitely, try to get rid of drugs, look for side effect they could cause....(you can check here if you still don't know about them).
     

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