Severe addiction to P _ A new start _ First two weeks of January.

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by InspireMe, Dec 28, 2018.

  1. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Hi guys,
    My P consumption has only worsened over the years.
    I've been so helpless these days. I have attempted to quit P for numerous times, still find myself in the very first place I was before.
    I really don't know if this one would turn out to be yet another fruitless attempt. :emoji_confused:
    The first time I posted on Nofap I was so excited and made a 20+ days hardmode streak.
    Then after a year or so, I managed to reach a wonderful streak of 130 days. Then after a silly relapse, things just worsened to the point of utter helplessness.
    I feel powerless and exhausted after all these attempts to fix this addiction.
    Even Nofap doesn't seem to be working for me the same it did a couple of years ago.
    I don't know why, I don't know what's going on. The only thing I know is that I'm completely lost and doesn't seem to be getting out of it. :emoji_disappointed:

    My goal: hardmode, the first two weeks of January.

    Peace.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2019
  2. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 1
    Just finished the 1st day.
    I have dedicated some time for reading and contemplating every day. It's impossible to get rid of a dark room without lighting a candle or two.
     
  3. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 2, December 30th, 2018
    I've already made some changes.
    • Seen a doctor + a counselor.
    • I'm going to develop good relationships with people I care about. "In order to be someone you've never been, you've got to do something you've never done."
    • Removed VPNs from my smartphone + installed P blockers on my browsers (acutually they're add-ons)
    • More changes to come!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2018
  4. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 3, December 31st, 2018
    3 days under my belt. Now is the time for the real challenge, which is the first two weeks of January.
    It will be really hard but I hope I handle it.
    Peace.
     
  5. le_dank_garcon

    le_dank_garcon Fapstronaut

    Best of luck bruh! You got this!
     
    Beamer, Coolyorky and InspireMe like this.
  6. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Thanks so much for dropping a comment.
    I appreciate it. I particularly liked your signature, I should remember that and thank God for every day of my life, that really makes a difference in my attitude.

    Day 4, January 1st, 2019
    Today, I met some new people and hanged out. It was really good.
    I'm making plans to meet some new people every week and socialize more, that really helps when quitting addictions.
    You can have a look at my signature and find out that isolation is the key element that is present in each and every addiction you can imagine. I used to spend less or no time making relationships and spending all my time working or studying in an isolated manner. That's why I ended up being depressed and inclined to indulge.
    Peace.
     
  7. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 5, January 2nd, 2019
    Just a normal day. Studied but didn't eat enough. I have the habit of not eating well while I'm working or studying which is a bad thing. Sometimes I attribute it to laziness when I don't feel like taking a break and have a snack.
    Anyway, the 5th day is completed. Let's take the 6th one.
    Finishing the 7th day will mark my best streak in the last two months. I hope I make it happen.
    Peace.
     
  8. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 6, January 3rd, 2019
    Today got tough toward the end. Inappropriate imaginations popping up in my mind throughout the day is not a good sign at all. But fortunately, given that I had already read and watched enough stuff, I managed to stay in charge.
    I just need 11 more days to reach Jan 14th and achieve my goal.
    Peace.
     
  9. Coolyorky

    Coolyorky Fapstronaut

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    Keep going brother! Block adult websites on all devices.
    Only go online when people are around so you can’t M
    Try create new good habits like press-up/sit-up challenges
    You can do it
     
  10. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

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    Whats helped me is imagining what my life could be like if I did everything right for the next couple years and comparing it to what my life could be like if I did everything wrong for the next couple years.
     
  11. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your insights dear @Coolyorky and @Clarke . I appreciate it.

    Day 7, January 4th, 2019
    Fewer imaginations than yesterday.
    Now I surpassed my best streak in almost 4 months. That's right! Unfortunately, I have not been away from PMO for more than a week in the past 4 months. That's a hard fact.
    I'm healing. I'm rewiring.
    Peace.
     
    Coolyorky, Beamer and le_dank_garcon like this.
  12. Peter 2.0

    Peter 2.0 Fapstronaut

  13. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 8, January 5th, 2019
    Stepping into the next week. Erotic imaginations are still there. As @Peter 2.0 suggested, I need to consciously stay away from any imaginations if I am to continue this journey. I know they are dangerous.
    "I can only do as much as I can and God has ultimate control, so it's according to His will." extracted from @le_dank_garcon journal. powerful sentence.
    I also need to accept the simplicity of the present moment as Eckhart Tolle suggests. Resisting and rejecting the present moment only make things worse. One of the reasons that I used to PMO was that I wanted to get a "high", well, that's a rejection of the simplicity of the present moment. Life IS simple. If we add a lot of stimulations into our lives, we end up being addicted to a whole lot of things just because we want to escape the present moment.
    Let's keep it up. I am determined to reach January 14th and achieve my goal.
    Peace.
     
  14. Peter 2.0

    Peter 2.0 Fapstronaut

    Congratulations, you achieved more than the half of your goal! Step after step! Day by day!
     
    Beamer and InspireMe like this.
  15. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Thanks!!! :)

    Day 9, January 6th, 2019
    One day more and I'll get a two-digit number. It's been two years or more since my last streak (which was 111 days MO-free and 130 days PMO-free). I still regret it. I made a silly move and just out of pressure and being under stress made a critical mistake which cost me 2+ years of struggling.
    If I were to tell you one single tip for quitting, that would be:
    "NEVER EVER LOOK BACK! EMBRACE YOUR NEW LIFE."
    Peace.
     
  16. le_dank_garcon

    le_dank_garcon Fapstronaut

    That's a great quote to live by. I need to stop being stuck in my past mistakes and misfortune, and focus on the future!
     
    Beamer and InspireMe like this.
  17. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Oh thanks!! I'm going to learn from the past and let it go. It should only teach us something, nothing more.

    Day 10, January 7th, 2019
    2-digits!! Today, I met some new people and had some good time talking to them.
    I'm going to learn that it doesn't matter whether I like the person or not, but rather, I need to be open and friendly and let go of my irrational prejudices against the other person. It's really important to respect other people whether we find them interesting or not.
    So my goal is not %50 complete. I need 7 more days to claim victory over my first goal which is Jan 14th.
    Peace.
     
  18. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 11, January 8th, 2019
    Let's start with this quote that I found today (from @Beamer profile):
    "Focus on how far you have progressed. Not how far you still have to go. (ChangeInSeconds)"
    Each day, I occasionally think of me when I used to watch P. But I immediately tell myself: that was the old me.
    I'm not that person anymore. My identity is different now, and I'm simply a whole new person the moment I decided to change the way I live 11 days ago.
    By "Never look back" I mean I'm not going to think of the past experiences regarding P. The past is already dead, I'm not going to give it a second life. I'm not that kind of person anymore.
    I keep telling myself: I'm healing. I'm healing ...
    Peace.
     
  19. InspireMe

    InspireMe Fapstronaut

    Day 12, January 9th, 2019
    I've been under pressure of a burdensome project since 10 days ago. I used to PMO a lot in such situations, but this time turned out to be totally different. I'm trying hard to sustain myself for the next 7 days when the project is finally over.
    I'll reach 14 days monk mode just for 2 more days. A kind of streak which I haven't achieved since 2+ years ago. That tells me something: This time it's different and I will do everything to keep myself going until I break through my longest streak (111 monk mode).
    But I'm not going to hurry at all, I'll take it as it comes, at one-day increments.
    Peace.
     
    justafriend, le_dank_garcon and IgorB like this.
  20. theprocedure

    theprocedure Fapstronaut

    keep fighting @InspireMe , and destroy any early thoughts/temptations to relapse! love your goal of making meaningful good and healthy relationships too. your signature is truthful.
     
    le_dank_garcon, InspireMe and IgorB like this.

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