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Self confession

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by nmohammedxyz, Nov 14, 2016.

  1. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  2. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Today I relapsed once again should i start no PMO from tomorrow ? Or what should I do ? I know my triggers but after 77days of no PMO hard mode and lots of gains in my life I feel terribly depressed now after relapsing its totally avoidable I accept its my fault. Please motivate me support me help me I feel very lonely.
     
  3. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Thanks D.J. I read it fully. really it helps me. Once again I am starting from tomorrow.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. LUKEY_luke

    LUKEY_luke Fapstronaut

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    I have a thread in rebooting titled "How to block websites that may be triggering" check it out and PM me if you have any questions.
     
    nmohammedxyz likes this.
  5. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    Don't beat yourself up because that is ultimately self defeating.

    Like others have said try to find the triggers so you know what to recognize the next time they occur. Patience is a virtue and you are going to need patience to beat this. Nothing worth doing is easy and you can beat this.

    If you don't give in the urges will subside. You just have to focus and stay on course.
     
  6. @nmohammedxyz I've been edging for several days and today at 4:30 in the morning I ended up relapsing totally (P & M & O).

    I've broken all my promises and ruined all my achievements I have made so far. Also, I've broken lots of taboos related to porn viewing. After a period of about 2 or 3 months this winter, when I was so happy and I thought I was on the right way, I gradually became sucked up in this addiction and these days are actually the worst so far.

    I'm very depressed and worried, but I'm trying to keep up the spirits by watching my favorite comedy show online. I'm not a good looking guy, so when I go out and see successful, tall, good-looking men I tend to envy them and become more depressed, but then I tell myself two things: 1. that each of us has got his destiny and we have to fight to improve it. 2. at least in my case, I am the only one responsible for my problems, so it's up to me to fix them.

    That doesn't mean that our society is perfect and is not responsible for anything. But the society is made up of people and we are these people. There is no help coming from the outside. The only help we can get is from ourselves.

    I won't tell you not to worry. On the contrary, you need to worry about your problems and destiny, because there is nobody else who ever will.

    So stay strong, brother.
     
    nmohammedxyz and battleready like this.
  7. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday went well but the urges are returned. Now I know when and where went wrong I think I should be more patient with myself because it takes time to heal.
     
  8. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Constantly fighting the urges and fetishes I mean literally
     
  9. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Once again relapsed chest pain and anxiety is killing me. it feels like constantly some chest buster coming out of my chest really I don't know what to do. I feel very lonely. I just need someone to listen to me and motivate me.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  10. @nmohammedxyz I also relapsed 3 days ago - PMO. Since then I've been just edging to P, without O. But each time I edge I reset the PMO tracker to 0. Now I want to make it through September without PMO or edging. 100% clean and normal life. If there is anyone who wants to join me, that would help me a lot.

    So let's keep in touch.
     
    nmohammedxyz likes this.
  11. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Yes I join you. Starting from September 4 but we can make it a 90 day challenge. Is that OK for you ?. Please constantly message me on daily basis and I too message you.
     
    robertgianni1976 likes this.
  12. nmohammedxyz

    nmohammedxyz Fapstronaut

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    Today I binged my back is severely paining, my hands are trembling. I feel physically weak and mentally worthless. This time I thought I can complete the 90 day challenge but I relapsed.
     
  13. OK, let's work hard, and whenever we feel tempted to relapse we'll write and share our feelings and problems on this thread. Staying clean for 90 days is going to be tough, but I want to do it, because this is the right thing to do.

    I have to admit that PMO is a wonderful and glamorous way for me to escape reality. In my porn-fueled fantasies I am a super-intelligent attractive super-hero, getting whatever I desire - the very opposite of who I am and what my life is like in reality.

    But, no matter how sweet and rewarding my fantasy world is, I don't want to keep living in it until I ruin my life completely. I've done enough harm to myself and other people. Even if I'm disappointed in myself and scared of reality, and even if I hate myself for being a coward, I still feel it's better to be aware of it every second of my life than run away from it and seek refuge in PMO. I don't want to be reduced to that brain area in my head that delights in porn.
     
  14. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    The chaser effect will only get stronger till you stop.
     

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