Self confession

Hi mate - wow it sounds like you have already made some great goals (50 days!). You are young, your brain is flexible and you will fix yourself!

We're here for you. Have your thought about starting a journal? I am finding it really helpful, also getting an accountability partner or two might help.

 

This place is all about support my friend, stay strong on your journey and know that you have community to reach out to who will help you fight this demon!

 

@nmohammedxyz Hello. I will speak from my own experience. If you want to get rid or reduces your fetish fantasies, keep your mind busy. Read about history, watch documentaries about other cultures and civilizations, learn how to love other cultures and people. For example, on youtube you'll find plenty of documentaries and movies about Incas, Mayans, Assyrians, or about Afro-Cuban music and dances. Enrich your life - choose an artistic hobby, like playing the guitar or dancing, which are artistic and also get you closer to people, instead of cutting you off from them.

Moreover, in most of the cases, PMO and fetish addiction are also caused by lack of self-confidence. Improve your intellect, but also go to the gym, or, even better, take up a team sport. You'll become more disciplined and self-assertive. In addition, respect and protect those who are weaker than you - like children, women and old people - because this will give you a great sense of being useful to society.

 

I can totally identify with points 7, 8 and 9. Mohammed, you ain't alone bud.

 

That is an old version of the list. Check out In Case You Didn't Know for an updated list of strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.

 

We tend to beat ourselves up about relapse and we must remember that making a mistake is acceptable if you learn from it. Recovery is not easy but try not to linger on negative thoughts and let yourself feel hopeful for the future.

 

I have been there. Unemployed, lonely, no partner and it is really really bad. If you examine your behaviour, you will notice that your triggers probably come on when you feel sad or lonely or hopeless. Provocative ads and skimpily dressed women are not the actual trigger, more like a reflection pushing you over the edge.
You have to remember that your PMO is not being triggered by lust or rather not lust alone. That might have been how it started but now it has taken over your life. If it were, you could excuse it as a natural reaction. It is our seeming inadequacies in life, the feeling that nothing we do matters that trigger our repeated indulging in PMO.
Nobody can control the future but I find that reaching out for what you want, a little bit every day, helps to keep moving. You are battling PMO and that is a great investment in your future. If you are unemployed, consider what else you can do or want to do. If you lack skills or experience, try volunteering until you acquire it. Nobody ever said no to a free worker.
Above all, keep yourself busy and moving forward. PMO is a step backward into the abyss. Every day you fight this inner battle is a day that you have been victorious. Keep it up.

 

J

Just keep yourself busy. If something upsets you in your life, think of a concrete way to deal with it. It does not matter if it succeeds or fails, the important thing is you did something about it rather than just accept that you are a failure. We only fail when we give up.

 

nmohammedxyz First, congratulations on your 55 days without PMO. In this community, people like you are my models, even though I'm older than you. I have decided that I want to be a role-model for others, too, that's why I want to quit PMO for ever, without streaks and relapses. Let's let our actions speak - that is, our diary or PMO tracker.

Thank you everybody again.

 

@nmohammedxyz Hello. There are so many beautiful things to watch or listen to out there. Here is my list (you can look them up on youtube):

Cesaria Evora – Avenida marginal; Velocidade

Tito Paris – Danca ma mi criola

Eliades Ochoa – No dejes que te digan muneca; Aye

Compay Segundo and Eliades Ochoa – Chan Chan

Salmarina – Fue en Sevilla (also watch the sevillanas dance)

Ternipe - Pe Mande O Cheri

The Golden Gate Quartet - When The Saints Go Marching In
Louis Armstrong-Go Down Moses
Demonios da Garoa – Trem das onze; Saudosa maloca; Samba da crianca

Bau – Filosofia; Raquel

Anoushka Shankar – Pancham se gara

Mohammed Rafi – Zindabad

Lata Mangeshkar - Mohabbat Ki Jhooti Kahani
Jimmy Buffett and Martina McBride – Trip Around the Sun

Rada - Nana Toha

Wankara - Wankara

Alfredo Coca - Seleccion de huaynnos

Mariachi Vargas - Viva El Mariachi

Lucho Gatica – Yo vendo unos ojos negros

Ahmed Alshaiba – My Trip Around the Arab World

Pedro Moutinho - Fui a um jogo; Rua da esperanca; Olhos Estranhos

Amália Rodrigues - Uma Casa Portuguesa

Rocio Jurado - Sevilla

Academicos do Tatuape – Mae Africa

Mogollar - Daglar daglar

Adonis y Osain del Monte – La Negra

The Best Of Bluegrass - Roll In My Sweet Baby's Arms
Orchestra Lautarii – Sarba din batrani

Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet, no. 13, Dance of the Knights
Tchaikovsky - Dance of the Swans
Wagner – Tannhauser Overture

Also, you may look up 'rumba columbia' and 'rumba guaguanco' on youtube - they are awesome Cuban dances.