seeking 40's UK guy(s) for mutual support in rebooting

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by timetochange45uk, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. timetochange45uk

    timetochange45uk Fapstronaut


    I'm 45, just starting to really appreciate I have a problem.

    I shy away from sex with my wife, I struggle to cum from sex anymore and have to finish by hand. It's depressing.

    I find my eye is constantly checking out females, I struggle to see women as "people" and more as sexual objects I fear.

    I watched "naked attraction" the TV show and found myself thinking all the female contestants were lacking in attraction, this scared me, THEY ARE NORMAL and considered attractive by the audience and others, This showed me how warped my view of "normal" bodies has become as a result of porn.

    I've been a porn user since the internet came into being. I recall having normal sex to completion until a few years after, by which time I'd discovered internet porn and perhaps already developed a few times a week habit of PMO to it. From then on I started to find I couldnt "finish" with a girl any more.
    I put it down to nerves and then being tired and then stress and any and all reasons.

    For several years I was single. This didnt help at all with my habit.

    I now realise things have become very bad.

    I cant cum in a woman.
    I find my brain thinks "ooh you could have a little session of PMO" the moment I find myself in the house alone with opportunity. I dont every time of course but far too often.

    I want to not only fancy my wife but lust after her again. I want to get more mentally turned on by her. I fear although I "function" in sex apart from the not cumming, that its probably down to the physical sensations and not anywhere near enough due to visual and mental turn on. This side I fear is hugely diminished by my PMO habit.

    I'm going to try and stop using porn fullstop. I think I will try to stop MO too, although think to be realistic this is likely to have lapses so, I shall not beat myself up if once a week I do maybe, but not to P !

    Is there anyone else in the UK who finds themselves sounding like me?
    It would be good to have a buddy to lean on and help in return.
  2. TalkingScum

    TalkingScum Fapstronaut

    I'm mid 30's, addiction origins at or before adolescence, married, and also trying to put 100% into changing myself so that porn addiction doesn't define me and my thoughts.

    I'm also in the Euro-Zone.

    How would you like to do the communication? I currently have 1-on-1 with another fellow in Google hangouts, but also have whatsapp or discord.

    I would like to have a group, with more discussions, sharing, support , and motivation. I feel that more people analysing themselves to help others is extremely therapeutic in their recovery. Plus, sharing what works for them may help or inspire others find their own or other coping techniques.
  3. timetochange45uk

    timetochange45uk Fapstronaut

    I use whatsapp, I like that idea. Its very quick and easy and could be useful for those moments of pressure.
    Thanks for your reply. I'm just off to bed having resisted today :) despite the family being away and being in the house alone. Hope you are doing well too.

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