Scared to death...

i only viwed it once it twice aling with a few gifs. I mean its not like all iv been doing for the past month or anything. and it was inly for a shot time. If that matters.

 

sorry if Im asking to many questions..

 

ya, Iv tryed a few things like mastwr reset and stuff. Nothing put me to sleep unlike the rushing water one, it hasnt done anything for me. So I'll just stay away for all hypon all together.

 

Oh trust me. I'll stay clear form the hypon shit. I haven't even been tempted to go back to it. In all honesty i dont think I'm addicted to it, TRUST ME I'm never going to tempt it and ever revisit that stuff. I have extreme OCD, and when i worry about something i obviously worry. I just need to take a decnt brake form all pron and just let my mind rest. No matter what tricks my anxiety plays on me.

 

I apologize if I miss spell anything, I haven't slept in a few days....

 

I actually hade a bad night and then started to pray around 3, I passed out finally. So I can assume praying works

 

Iv been doing my best to try and stay clam today..buts its the creeping anxiety thoughts that get me down and scared

 

Thank you

 

Iv been doing my best to try and take this one day at a time. Iv come to realize that its my anxiety and hocd that are the problem here, not that actual video/gifs, even tho I will never view that kinda pron again, trust me. But I just have to keep telling myself that this is just my anxiety and hocd playing tricks in my head, i mean iv hade a loveing gf for the past 7 months and there hasnt been any trouble what so ever till this vido/gifts. That in its slef tells me that this isn't me. I'll keep this as a journal of some sort, to kinda keep things in perspective and to keep this kind community updated on my struggle.

 

Haveing a decent day. Spent some time with my gf, and am trying to stop actively thinking about this whole thing. Its been a week today since it happened, I do feel a good deal better since then. But I'm still paincing here and there threw out the day with the what ifs, I did say something before that kind opened my eye's "do I identify as a man?" It was a instant yes with out having to think about it for a split second. So anxiety and hocd are the culprits here.

 

Really struggling with those creeping thoughts today. Iv been in a panic basically all day.

 

Doing better tonight. Just bearly made it threw the day tho. Heres to tomorrow being better.

 

Mabye I should see a hypino therapist and have the last week of my life erased or something....

 

Anyone on that can help?

 

Going to the doctor I a few days and am going to ask for something for this anxiety, i mean iv been dateing my Wonderful gf for mouths and theres been bo trouble till these videos which must have just badly confused me