Scared of learning things in front of others?

Hello fellow fapstronauts,

I need to get rid of a problem. Please suggest your thoughts.

I am scared of learning things in front of my room mates, and colleagues in my office. We don't have a separate cubicle where we can do whatever we want on our computers and no other colleague will notice.

I have an annual subscription of a popular online learning platform. But, I haven't made use of this so far to learn things. I feel vulnerable to watch basic programming videos, then practicing it on my laptop at home.

Everytime someone looks at my laptop, on what am I doing, I think they shouldn't see. I am working in IT for over 6 years now and have merely survived it.

Seems to me that I am governed by the circumstances and surroundings, rather than doing what I supposed to do. Please suggest how can I get rid of this?

 

Thanks @PJT for sharing how you deal with this. Yes, headphone do work, when I am home, and none of my roommates really disturb at that time.

Situation is difficult at my workplace, where we don't have cubicles anymore. So everyone can see what other colleagues are doing on their desktop/laptop. One of my manager sits diagonally opposite to me. Putting on headphone seems like I am avoiding my colleagues sitting next to me. There are a couple of colleagues who asks a lot of questions such as what you are doing? What is this website? Have you taken subscription? They all know all these things but still they ask such questions which really annoys me. People are more interested to know what's happening in others life. I don't feel I should answer their questions. May be they can go back and search for what I was browsing on my desktop when they are free, rather than asking me.

When I browse the basics of some topics, I wonder what would the people around me will think...that this guy is incompetent, he doesn't even know basics... I am surrounded by some seniors and juniors as well. Every time I try to learn something online, I feel very vulnerable and exposed, so to speak.

 

There's nothing wrong with learning something new.
@PJT you have asked the right question to me.
But yeah, what I am usually learning are things my senior managers would expect me to know already, considering that I had been around in the organisation and industry for over 6 years. I had ignored what I should be learning for past 6+ years, which ultimately boils down to PMO. I should be skilled in the technologies I am working on, but clearly lack it.

I need to be humble and loose the eye of skepticism for the colleagues, may be they can help me get better, instead.

Thanks a lot for your suggestions @PJT

 

@Reborn16, you have hit the bull's bye. I never thought it this way. I am more worried people will judge me for what I am doing. Rather, I should focus on getting better.
Learning at home is definitely a safer option, thanks for that. But I should learn to learn wherever I am, I won't get the luxury to go and study at home, specially when I am too tired.

My roommates are supportive and don't really sneak into what others are doing.
Thanks for your suggestions @Reborn16, I will check the book.

 

Thanks @Reborn16! I will apply your suggestions and share how my learning experience turns out to be.

Thanks for sharing your experience of how you are tackling public speaking as well.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience and views @Minsc.

I realize now, that my ego is having a hard time accepting the fact that I suck at things and I should learn the basics again. And this learning can't happen in the Himalayas, because I need to earn my bread, everyday to survive. I don't have the luxury to quit my job and not face the reality and fix things. It is high time and life would not give me another chance to fix myself and get better.

In order to operate within this framework of life, on this beautiful Earth, I can't expect that special moment when nobody (out of 7 billion) would be around me, to see what I am learning and what mistake I am making. People would be there, for sure.

We are human and a social animal and will remain surrounded by people, no matter what.
If I remain scared of learning things and making mistakes in front of others, I won't grow.