Road to CHANGE- Mindy’s Journal

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Mindy, Dec 30, 2017.

  1. Better Than This

    Better Than This Fapstronaut

    Thats ok. It happens when we least expect it. Just remember to be vigilant, and shoot for 3 weeks this time. You can do it - you are strong, and like each time we fall, we get up stronger and learn what to do better next time.
     
    Mindy likes this.
  2. Poor Yorick

    Poor Yorick Fapstronaut

    201
    117
    43
    Good that you're able to separate the "battle" from the "war," per say. If you can still recognize your progress, that's a great thing. It takes a long time to make any worthwhile change.
     
    Mindy likes this.
  3. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Lucky that you're able to control your drive better, I'm still working on mine though. Ick.

    A relapse after two weeks is unfortunate, but I'm happy to hear you haven't given up.

    And it's good to see some of the positive things about your abstinence. You do sound a lot happier than when you completely gave in to PMO multiple times a day.

    Good luck on your next streak! :)
     
  4. Mindy

    Mindy Fapstronaut

    359
    978
    93
    Been good w no urges for about a week now. Started going out with a new guy that I met at a Halloween party. He’s not my “type” but I’m keeping an open mind. However, we may have different beliefs and standards which always seems to complicate things. He seems a little more open to exploring physically, but I’m trying to cut that out of my life. I’m trying not to dwell too much on him and focus on myself for now.
    I’ve already gotten out of the habit of praying and reading scriptures and other books unfortunately since I redownloaded some social media. Social media is just as addictive to me as MO!
    Oh, one other victory for me. On that fitness app I use, a guy tried sending me inappropriate pics but I said no even though I kinda wanted to see... I think I need to delete that app even though it’s been helpful for my fitness goals. It’s just too unsafe there.
     
    Tannhauser likes this.
  5. Mindy

    Mindy Fapstronaut

    359
    978
    93
    Been reading a book about mindfulness that I got at the library. Something that stuck out to me was that we use our logical minds too much. We too often view everything as a problem. For example, let’s say I want to be a different person or want to change something about myself. My mind sees person A (me right now) and person B (person I want to be) and sees the gap between the two and can’t help but figure out how to make that gap smaller. Just like if we needed to get somewhere, our logical minds would figure out the route to get from point a to point b. Well, I learned from this book that sometimes we create problems that don’t actually exist. Just because we think something, doesn’t mean that is reality. Thoughts are just thoughts, coming and going. Rather than using our doing minds, we should focus more on “being”. And we might just realize there wasn’t a problem to be solved in the first place. I still have a lot to read in this book so I’ll post updates of things I learn!
     
  6. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    One of the greatest spiritual disciplines is to learn how to ignore your thoughts. We don't get anywhere by listening to what's happening in our minds, we only excel when we learn to listen to what's happening with our hearts.
     
    Mindy likes this.
  7. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I've been missing some of your posts so I had to take a moment to catch up. Your doing pretty great! I'm sorry you've been having problems on your fitness app. Is there a way to block or report them?

    The book sounds interesting, I'll have to give it a shot myself. Good luck and take care!
     
  8. Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

    That's awesome @Mindy ! What is the title of the book, if you don't mind sharing?
     
  9. Mindy

    Mindy Fapstronaut

    359
    978
    93
    I’ll get back to you on that. I think it’s just called “mindfulness” but let me look at the book when I have it with me.
     
  10. Mindy

    Mindy Fapstronaut

    359
    978
    93
    I’ve taken a few steps back lately. I got intimate with a guy the other night which led to a “sexy” dream that night, which led to MO in the morning, which led to a small binge, which led to looking at P :(
    I haven’t looked at P in forever but I did and my phone is set up in a way that I can’t erase any search history so that was really dumb of me to look stuff up. Now if someone ever is looking at my phone while I’m in my internet browser my recent searches will pop up and they will see. So dumb. All of it.
    I’ve been kinder to myself when it comes to MO but P is completely unexceptable. I did not handle my sexual energy well at all.
    I want to try this whole mindfulness thing and think more about how I feel, the sensations around me, what I want, and let my thoughts and feelings come and go instead of instantly acting and using that “doing” mind of mine to solve a problem I think I have, like the need to fulfill my sexual desire NOW. If I would just take a moment to think before doing, I believe I’d realize there isn’t really a problem at all and that I don’t need to act instantly all the time. Patience is a virtue.
    Also feeling a deep desire to reevaluate my beliefs. I feel unsure about my religion and I need to know if it’s a good fit for me. I’m determined to do what I need to to feel a connection with God and ask Him for direction.
    Handling sexual energy and becoming spiritually sound are my two biggest goals right now.
     

Share This Page