Ritual Masturbation

Hey guys,

I am back to this forum. My first NoFap experience at the end of last year was 90 days including two resets and five orgasms with partner. Overall it was a success to me. Since then I was wondering how to sustain the positive effects of a conscious sex life and developed the following practice. I know some advocate for continuous (at best lifelong) abstention from masturbation and semen retention and/or sex only with a partner in order to avoid relapse into PMO-habit. However, my personal experience and what I learned from many reports and conversations here is that it's just as much a risk of relapsing if you don't know how to adopt a healthy masturbation routine after successfully finishing your NoFap reboot. Never ever masturbating again is hardly endured by many (especially the overly potent younger ones) and partnered sex as the exclusive means to release pressure may overcharge that precious (sexual) relationship. Some even never accomplish there NoFap goals. After all, NoFap is negatively focused on what not to do (which I acknowledge proves beneficial for many stuck in addiction, but to others is tantamount to the famous demand 'Don't imagine a pink elephant jumping around' and thus produces serial failures) but imo comes short in offering a positive sexual lifestyle besides the above mentioned options that seem too extreme for me and maybe for you, too. Please note that I don't want to talk anyone out of those who has found relief and happiness therein. I am only proposing another more moderate alternative that I believe is in line with mindful and healthy sexual habits that so many men failed to build up from their early youth on. It's meant to supplement, not to supersede NoFap - especially for those who have already rebooted.

A ritual is a powerful cultural tool to thoroughly structure actions, needs and mindsets and thereby provides meaning and safety. I use it to combine the best of NoFap - the exhilarating feeling of self-mastery - with the potential of fostering radiating self-confidence and eventually self-love that attentive self-pleasuring bears. The ritual provides a clearcut guideline of when, where and how masturbation is to be practiced in order to build up a healthy routine and thus rules out harmful temptations and excesses. Masturbation obtains an accurately defined - even sacred - place in your life instead of saturating all of your thoughts almost all of the time by being an ever present filthy course of action.

Here come the regulations:

1. Set up a specific time and place and stick with it. Masturbation out of this setting is strictly forbidden and a true relapse. My recommendation is daily in bed before sleeping.
2. Set up a fixed duration. It should be adjusted to your stamina and allow you to enjoy the plateau phase for a while but also prevent you from indulging in unduly prolonged sessions. I go for half an hour and use a meditation timer app with gongs as a subtle reminder of time and ending.
   
3. Switch off any electronical screen before starting your practice and remove devices (and printed stimula) out of reach of your masturbation area. Only your 'head cinema' is allowed to turn you on (with advanced practice you won't even need concrete fantasies but be able to simply enjoy your own sensual pleasures). Never browse the internet for arousing material in advance (nor at any time ofc). I recommend a regular meditation session to calm down and clear up your mind before masturbating.
4. Prepare the ambiance. Avoid bright daylight or glaring artificial light. So shut the blinds or dim the lamps if necessary. Candle light is highly recommended. Turn on some relaxed music if you like. Sounds of nature or any other meditative composition are good ideas. Where indicated, lock your door to avoid disturbances.
5. Prepare yourself. Put off as many clothes as pleasant but keep your shorts on. Find a comfortable posture. Breathe deeply a few times. You may caress various parts of your body. Rub your hands together until they're warm and then place one directly on your penis and one on your heart. Whisper or state quietly your intentions and desires regarding a healthy sexual life (find a personal formula of 3-5 sentences that remain always worded the same). Remove your shorts then to start your practice.
   
6. Masturbate intuitively but abstain from the standard one-fist-(death)-grip. Exert different techniques and paces and figure out new ways of penile pleasure. Applying lube or massage oil may help this. It is not even important to achieve and maintain an erection.
   
7. Ejaculate or retain your semen when the time of your practice ends. Only consequently stick to your general predetermined decision on this. You may also allow ejaculation in a regular rhythm (once in three days or a week, for example). If you spend your seed, do so deliberately and fiercely. Don't ever squirt off directly into a paper tissue, condom or the like. Let your semen flow freely and make a mess.
   
8. Relish in the afterglow. If you got off, listen motionlessly into your body's sensations for a few minutes, possibly feel and smell the fluids on your skin. If you kept your semen, you may distribute your sexual energy into your whole body with firm strokes away from your genitals. Eventually, when all arousal is gone, rub your hands again, place them on your penis and heart and repeat your personal formula to end the masturbation ritual. (You may 'tidy up' then).