Retro Girl's Reboot

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Retro Girl, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I guess this is a pretty hard time for you right now. It's easy (and honestly quite understandable) to relapse with all of these feelings you're having. A lot of things are changing and you're pretty scared and it feels like you're on your own. I'm sorry you have to fell them. It would be easier to just blow your streak now and to numb the feelings.

    You don't need to reset to those feelings though. For so long we've avoided those kinds of feelings by PMOing, and since we're abstaining we have to deal with a bunch of new things we haven't had much experience with. You aren't alone in this though. You've got readers who would be happy to help you out and you're very strong.

    I know you won't let these get to you too badly. And if they do, that's okay, because I will still be just a PM away, if you need a shoulder.

    Good luck and take care. We appreciate the things you have done for us, we're ready to return the favor.
     
  2. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Solo, you're very kind and supportive <3
     
  3. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Don't do it. It will be harder to start again afterwards.

    "nothing is for free, there is no shortcut to feeling good and there are many other things we can do to make ourselves feel better. "

    This is totally correct. They give us those porn materials for free because there is a huge porn industry behind it.
    They have a hidden agenda. They enslave people. Many women are abused in the porn industry and there are many horrors behind the scenes we didn't know about when we watched those porn materials. It's almost satanic.

    "It's just boredom really, a desire for an intense experience, an escape"

    Totally correct. You can also add depression. At this point, after 2 months without porn , I am not triggered anymore. However, depression can make me think about the idea of porn.
    I almost forgot how it feels to watch a porn video although I recall many of the images.

    So in order to resist the temptation you have to remind yourself that purity is possible and that... you better meet someone in real life to realize whatever fantasies you have. Porn makes us distant, anxious and even depressed to other people.
     
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  4. The fact that you made it this far with almost no urges is certainly a testament to at least some healing, it just needs more time before its all the way.

    Yep, perfectly put. No one ever turns to porn when they are having the time of their lives, its always when you're bored or stressed or sick or something that makes you want to do the one thing that will seemingly break you out of that feeling. But in reality, it only stalls that feeling until after the pmo session and then you usually feel worse.

    Hang in there, things always seem to turn around, there are cycles of ups and cycles of downs, you just have to ride it out. We can't have you being sad, try this...

    https://sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/snoopy-happy-dance-meme.jpg
     
  5. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Yes.. more time.. I need to give it more time.
    Yes.. what can lift you out of this feeling.. you believe pmo, until you remind yourself it won't work anyway.
    Thanks Batman, yes we earn our streaks on days like these. Thanks for funny image.. :)
     
  6. Beamer

    Beamer NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    Dear RG,
    To overcome our addiction completely is a daunting and long task, and at times we get the feelings you described here so well... We all have them from time to time...
    Know you're not alone with this kind of feelings, and having them or not: you undoubtedly healed a great deal already, but this "dark side" is strong, always waiting to appear when you least expect it to...
    That's why it is called "addiction".

    Maybe we need to learn to live with it forever, it's so deep wired in us, but i'm convinced it will get more and more easy to just say "no" to that darkness, even when we're feeling sad or lonely, or stressed...*

    You did so well already, you've grown so much already, you know pmo isn't the answer, it never was.
    We just didn't see it before, but now we can if we just take responsibility for our own actions.

    These feelings pass dear RG, don't deny you're feeling them, but don't act on them, you're strong enough to ignore them and replace them eventually with something else.

    We're all here for you if you need to talk or just need to clear your mind. It will always be so much better to come here than to stay alone with your thoughts and risk a relapse in an unguarded moment, please don't go there, don't......

    Stay strong now beautiful soul, for it is on days like this you make the difference by staying strong and clean.

    All my best dear RG, stay strong ! :)
     
  7. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Aww thanks so much Beamer, yes we just have to let these feelings pass, dig deep and find that inner strength. Really appreciate your support my friend, thanks as always.

    :)
     
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  9. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    A month once again, well that's pretty good actually.. but I'm not really thinking about it, since we started the new year, it's easier just to think of my progress in that way, I know exactly where I am and it's easy. But I didn't feel like resetting my counter because this month was hard earned.. but my focus is on doing a whole year of nofap, so it will be interesting to see how far I get. I think this is the year to put pmo behind me completely, no nonsense, no excuses, let's just get this done!

    It was my father's birthday recently, I baked him a cake which he enjoyed. I've been thinking about him lately.. it was hard for him as well, with the problems with my mother and then she leaving him. All the while he's had to work and had the financial responsibility to look after my sister, and to some extent me. I worry about him now, if when I move that he'll be ok.. he's been on his own since my mother left.. on the other hand he's not had time to find anyone, but will retire soon so I hope to encourage him to be more social. I know he is happy for me to move on with my life and this year will bring changes for both us, hopefully for the better.

    My work is going ok, it's tiring and a bit just being like a machine, smiling, asking the same questions, answering the same questions.. but it's enjoyable to some extent, to be out there interacting with people and it takes my mind off missing my sister and worrying about her.. although I think she is actually doing fine and I don't need to worry. I guess it just takes some time still to adjust. I don't know.. maybe I thought we'd go on forever living as we were, but as wise person once said, the only thing that is constant is change. And nofap is all about change, personal transformation.. and that transformation has to begin in the real world as well at some point.

    That is all for now, wish everyone continued success in this new year! Don't get distracted by things not worth your attention, keep focus on our real lives and improving it for the better..

    Love to all.

    :emoji_heart:
     
  10. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    How wonderful! A good father-daughter relationship! I am glad that you are such a good soul. Yes, change is very constant. So, no need to worry you didn't change enough. I wish I could tell you more, but this is just NoFap's forum.

    It's nice to have a father like yours.
     
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  11. john1780

    john1780 Fapstronaut

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    Good luck! I hope everything works out with your father and sister
     
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  12. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Nice thing to do for your father. I think he really appreciates the things you've done for him. You make valid points with some of your concerns. It'll be hard for the both of you, but I'm sure you'll both come out of it just fine.

    Have you talked to him about your future plans? It may help make the both of you feel better.

    That's employment for ya, you're part of a machine but you do get paid. I'm happy to hear you're coming to terms with your new environment. It's good to take it one at a time rather than all at once in a hurry.

    Good job on a month. :)
     
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  13. levidaniel92

    levidaniel92 Fapstronaut

    Nice to meet you, Retro and I like the way you express. You look very feminine and genuine in the way you express about your thoughts and feelings. I had to afford my parents divorce when I was 15 and I know how hard is it. But I like the way you are taking this situation, none like a petite girl but also as an adult woman. And I think is useful in this times when some girls are misunderstanding what feminism it is. Please try to have time with him, as a man I think he needs your support and your love. Try to stay with him some sundays, cooking together, smiling together, be her princess again. He did a effort in teaching your principles and most important values which forged your life. Also it is useful to have your mind busy and avoiding this pmo sh**t. Maybe you can share some Beatles music, or telling him about how Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Ingmar Bergman and Frank Sinatra made history in 50's and 60's. And try not to hold a grudge with your mother. In this sense you need to be selfish, thinking only in your progress and not allowing this things affect you.

    My best wishes, my profile is already open for talking, for keeping in touch and for being our best ones.
     
  14. Jonny123

    Jonny123 Fapstronaut

    Congrats on 30 days and 1000 posts @Retro Girl !
     
  15. Mysteryball

    Mysteryball Fapstronaut

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    I don't know why i never paid attention to your journal before....:eek:
    Oh damm! everyone has a journal.. batman.. you..
    are there any benefits?
     
  16. It depends on the person, at first i didnt think it was for me, but RG and a few others talked me into it and i find i like it. It allows you to keep track of details and look back at how your were feeling at different times in your reboot and keepd things in perspective. Also, it can just be nice to share. Personally i only post when i feel like it and sometimes its trivial, but it doesnt really matter, just post what you want.
     
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  17. reystronaut

    reystronaut Fapstronaut

    For me, the benefits of just writing what's been going on have been big. I do post everyday, but as @What I Do That Defines Me said, sometimes my posts are trivial. However, sometimes they are not and now I have a place I can go back to and see where I messed up and what worked for me. Also, I like to think of my journal as an inspiration to others. I don't have the beautiful poetry that RG has, but maybe readers can relate to my experiences and get something out of what I'm going through.
     
  18. Mysteryball

    Mysteryball Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing that! :)
     
  19. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Thank you :)
    I believe it has been very beneficial for me, it's a time where I reflect on my personal journey, life and feelings and get to put them out straight in words. This helps me know where I am, where I'm going and track my current progress. Also, it's a place for some deeper things you can't say in a status update or comment.. so yes for me, I believe it has helped my reboot journey and made it 'come to life' rather than just remain as thoughts and feelings inside of me.. so I highly recommend it!
     
  20. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    As we're still at the early part of the new year, it's a good time for thinking about my strategy for this year. One part of nofap we can overlook is the internet addiction itself. I think often, when we give up pmo, we increase our online activity elsewhere, e.g. in my case, wasting hours watching youtube. Replacing one addiction with another is not progress.. and what is more, this general internet addiction is a big part of the pmo problem anyway..

    So that's going to be my plan going forward.. even though it's tough right now as the days are dark and cold, we're indoors a lot, it can be hard to find things to do.. but brighter days are not far away. Other than that, as for myself, I think I'm in a bit of flatline right now.. I guess you don't get away with a relapse after all and I'll still have to tough it out for some more weeks before it gets easier again.

    I had an interesting weekend that maybe I'll talk more about in another journal.. I think that's it for now.. but I just wanted to mention these two journals I follow that deserve some attention.. go check them out and give some support.

    @sparkz journal
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/sparkz.162086/

    @moominfindinglight journal
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/is-this-going-to-be-a-lifelong-struggle.180875/

    Have a good pmo free week.
     

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