Retro Girl's Reboot

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Retro Girl, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Have you complained about lack of readers or advertised your journal on other people's journal? If no, chances are your definitely not an attention seeker.

    The guy's a bum. You know better. :)
     
  2. Yes, they can change quickly. Anyone who blows up like that insulting myself, RG and other good people with no provocation doesnt deserve my respect and certainly doesnt deserve my friendship. Plus, to be fair, it wasnt like we were tight or anything we just shared messages from time to time.
     
  3. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    The Girl From The Stars
    By Retro Girl

    [​IMG]

    From another world she came
    Although it was but a distant memory
    She could no longer remember
    Its beauty and perfection..

    Now all she saw were shadows
    The light always evading her gaze
    Everything she touched felt cold
    She wished she could remember..

    Somewhere inside she had to find
    That inner light that shined so bright
    But emptiness she felt instead
    Each day another little death

    She'd tried so hard to fill that void
    So many things she'd tried..
    She feared her soul forever lost
    A misguided adventure in hell

    Sometimes she stared at her reflection
    Gazed deep into those clear blue eyes
    She knew her spirit was still alive
    Somewhere deep inside..

    Buried beneath those layers of shame
    Sadness, guilt and anger..
    Was the pure essence she once possessed
    A time before corruption

    She had to find her way home
    Awaken the sleeper inside
    She needed to remember..
    If only she could remember..

    WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
    Awaken from your slumber!
    Remember who you are..
    You're the girl from the stars

     
  4. Awesome poem, very emotional. Retro Girl does it again :) I think most of us here xan relate to this in one way or another and its really touching. As always, thanks for sharing
     
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  5. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Wow, this is so pretty! I really like it! What a wonderful poem!
     
  6. There i go again with the typo...pray for me ;)
     
  7. Jim2015

    Jim2015 Fapstronaut

    Beautiful...
    Thank you Girl from the Stars!!
    :):):):):):):):):):):):):)
     
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  8. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys <3
     
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  9. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    I think nofap is more motivating when you're chasing goals, especially those early smaller goals of a week or a month.. but then after you reach those larger goals of e.g. 100 you lose some of the energy and enthusiasm.. and you kinda start to think if that's all there is.. and then what now? I also wonder if we can addicted to the feeling of chasing those early goals, that we replace the dopamine reward with the feeling of small victories of making it a few days, a week.. etc.

    I know it's weird but I kinda envy those chasing those smaller goals now as they clearly have more enthusiasm than I am feeling. I don't know what my goal is now if I'm honest as I feel like I proved I can do months of nofap if I dedicate myself to it and I'm fairly sure I can do this again in the future any time.. but there's not much real incentive now as I actually don't think I'll be feeling much different in another 100 days from now. Ok so it's another day I don't watch P or do M and that's good of course.. but it's now become normal everyday thing.

    I wonder if sometimes people unconsciously relapse because they actually want to start over, they enjoy starting over again with a fresh goal and support. It's something to fight for again, motivate them. Well, I don't want to do that, but weirdly, it does feel tempting. I don't know if this sounds crazy to you or not.. but this is what I've been thinking about.. or maybe I'm just searching for something to motivate me because although the physical urges are much better now, I'm feeling somewhat bored and it becomes an emotional and mental thing now.

    But if I'm right about this, then this is another important part of the reboot process, to get comfortable in this stage of the journey where there's not so much reward incentive but it's a slow gradual benefit at this stage that is largely unnoticeable.. but that doesn't mean it's not there. I think I'm learning to get used to this now, no more big incentives, just steady progress. A life without PMO and no songs or dances about it any more. This is my life now, my normal reality.. and why would I think I deserve a special feeling for just living my life?

    Because that's really all I do now, I live my life only without PMO.. even though in truth I'd love to go and M right now, to feel the sensations of an O.. but I don't do it.. and do I deserve a pat on the back for that? Not so much these days I guess.. Of course if I started all over again then I could have that again. Well, at least I'm concious of this, another pitfall and maybe one the reasons why people do seem to relapse after a few months, particular around 4 months..

    I think maybe the thing is, you can't expect to be supported for the rest of your life. Just as the grown lion cub leaves the pride to make it in the world by itself.. we have to learn to make it by ourselves.. but in doing that we might get killed, or rather in our case, me might fall back to our old ways of PMO without the support.

    Ok I stop now, I could witter on all day like this.. I'm just thinking out loud really, since I woke this morning I was thinking on this.. so just take it as that.. but thanks if you read this far!
     
  10. You definitely don't sound crazy, what you're saying makes perfect sense. I've never made it that far, but i have thought about how weird it will be when i get there. At the beginning we have all kinds of milestones. 1 week, 10 days, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 30 days and so on and we get a lot of motivation and support the whole time. So i can certainly see how it could be challenging when all that dies away and you're just left with life. For the record though, i still think every day you maje it through is a victory and you do deserve a pat on tge back and a big one at that. I'd mention it more, but i kind of thought you were sixk od hearing it lol. Anyway, beat of luck getting through this transition phase and i hope it becomes more normal for you. Keep up the excellent work :)
     
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  11. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    I guess my point is you can't expect to be supported the rest of your life and it's probably not good for you either.. not that I'm lacking support here from awesome people like yourself, and thanks for that. But yeah.. getting here is interesting, maybe weird even. You ask yourself what now?
     
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  12. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Fapstronaut

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    You don’t sound crazy at all. Since you are pretty established...why not take one or many newcomers under your wing and you can relive the early milestones through helping them? Now keep in mind I’m not fully awake yet so I might not have any clue what I’m talking about...just a idea. You are a inspiration here for many.
     
  13. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    That's an idea I've thought of, but I guess I don't feel qualified for that.. or, in reality, I'm a little shy about putting myself in that position for fear I'll give bad advice or end up relapsing myself. I always hoped my journal would just help people by sharing my journey as honestly as I can. I have tried to support quite a few people on here.. so I don't know, but thanks for the input.
     
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  14. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Fapstronaut

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    Ok. Well I think you are well qualified for whatever that’s worth. Honestly with the success you and @Newgirl have had, I really think you two should form the spearhead for not only us, but for the increasing amount of females that are joining the site. I normally don’t post much in people’s journals because I feel like I’m crossing a boundary. So I apologize if that’s the case here. :)
     
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  15. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Not at all, you're always welcome to post here and thanks for the suggestions.. something to think about for sure. :)
     
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  16. GSW9

    GSW9 Fapstronaut

    Hey you don't wanna fall in the vicious cycle like we are struggling to get past.. Its good, that you're reflecting on this & making a conscious effort to weigh pros & cons..

    Yeah that's true we can't be supported throughout life, we gotta go out there in the world on our own someday..

    Really appreciate the support out here though..

    You aren't crazy, these are your thoughts & its a good way to reflect on it..

    Its great, you feel normalized about this current state.. Now build yourself further from here!!

    Also, as you've abstained for too long, you're not getting enough motivation but from now on, you can slowly improve in other walks of life like your hobbies be it writings, designing etc.. As well as socializing & connecting with people out there more!! In my opinion, there's more to life than just abstaining..

    As Tiger said, you can take someone under you as a Padawan who's struggling & both of you can grow as a Padawan & Jedi Master ;)

    May the Force be with you!! :)
     
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  17. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    This is a great poem I can relate to it. You have put into words some of my conflicting thoughts :)
     
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  18. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Goku Snow Warrior McConaughey :)

    (that's not easy to type!)

    Thanks Newgirl I appreciate it :)
     
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  19. GSW9

    GSW9 Fapstronaut

    Haha I know it's not :p You're welcome!! ;)
     
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  20. I recently post qoute exactly about this thought. I agree with many things you said here.its normal proces, we cant have same level of enthusiasm all the time, all starts fade into nothing after time.but dont get me wrong you should definitely continue with your streak, you are for many people beacon of inspiration.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2018
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