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[Retention] I ejaculate too fast since I practice retention?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by romanticdudex, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. romanticdudex

    romanticdudex New Fapstronaut

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    Hello Everyone,

    After having followed nofap for more than a year, this is my first post, so I'm quite nervous haha! I'll try to keep my post short and crispy. ;)

    A quick background story: I'm 25, I've been watching porn daily since I am 14 years old, and stopped porn since 6 months ago (with a few edging / relapse episodes).
    I've also had a relationship from my 17th to my 25th, for 8 years long, with regular sex.

    From being a guy who had no experience and self confidence in intimacy, (I had a phymosis which made my first times very painful and unpleasent) and with a lot of performance anxiety (I always want to please, to perform well, to be a great lover as I see love making as an art where I can fully express myself and build my confidence. I would say that the happiest periods of my life were when I had this feeling of confidence also on sexual level!)

    I gradually builded up my confidence in bed with my girlfriend of 8 years, and pretty quickly saw myself having lots of great sex, lasting for long times, I had full trust in myself, my body, my little fella, etc! Feeling like a romantic beast. Especially because I felt secure in this relationship, things were going smoothly.

    6 months ago I left my relationship and changed my whole life, even changed country to begin a tai chi course for a few years. This means living in a community, multiple people in a room, being focused on a lot of things to do daily outside... I am in the perfect environment to stop porn, and even conserve all my sexual energy (it is even encouraged in the Taoist training i'm doing, where all students who want to become teachers are encouraged to abstain from any sexual activities during the training to remain focused, single pointed)

    So here I am, in the unknown. I thought I wouldn't be busy with anything sexual for at least 2 years and just focus on abstinence / celibacy but fate had another plan for me: I met and fell in love with a very attractive fellow student girl and we have had (incredible - magical) intimate moments (nothing sexual). Meeting her healed me from objectifying women, from wanting to find sexual pleasure in porn or porny sex, she basically pulled me out of the lower dimensions of sexuality and lifted me up to higher aspects. I have found back a part in me who wants to engage in intimacy only trough real love rather than lust...

    Still, meeting her awoke other anxieties in me, because I realised that the pleaser, the ideal lover in me wants to give the best to the right woman at the right timing. And while I'm confident about my "love making skills", I do feel like a virgin again on a "physical level" (down there) because it is the first time for me being sexually inactive for so long since I was 17! I am more concerned about whether I will have quality erections and last long enough.

    This leads to my question: This is why i masturbated to find out and after conserving for more than a month, I saw myself unable to avoid ejaculating very fast. Masturbated second time in the same day, same result.
    Masturbated one week after, same result.

    Is it normal / is it due to conserving for a long time that I ejaculate faster than I used to? Does anyone who practiced semen retention had the same happening to them when they had their first sexual experience after beginning retention lifestyle? (may it be through masturbation or with someone)


    Thank you very much for having taken the time to read me! :)
    Please let me know if you can help me aout my question (in bold / italic) and what you think of my background story also :) It feels hard sometimes to give up sex, I feel I am too young and have still too much to discover to be that wise and I don't have energy problems or motivation problems because of engaging in sex, quite the contrary...
     
  2. Judas Johnson

    Judas Johnson Fapstronaut

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    I'd be very interested to hear views from others!
     
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Quite interesting. I haven't relapsed since I started but I suppose you would last less since you are not used to it anyore.
     
  4. In my opinion bro, your pecker is hyper sensitive to stimulation ( mental or physical) because the lack of touching. On top of that, you have psychological issues that need to be addressed which is anxiety. When I started semen retention a year ago, I relapsed against my will, let me explain. When I use to see something that turn me on that was a trigger ( reminded of something from porn ) I will get super hard and no matter how hard I tried to get it out of my head my hard dick had a mind of its own and will rub against my tight underwear and that alone made me cum having a premature ejaculation, I did not stimulate on purpose or touch myself, I would do something in the moment so people didn't realize I was ejaculating in broad daylight in my pants. It was embarrassing, It was like having a wet dream but your conscious and awake and its more cum. This happen in occasions, thank god not always, but still I had to go and clean my self quick before it show through my pants. It was annoying but I did not give up on semen retention. It does not happen to me any more( knock on wood) but I can not get very over stimulated cause I can cum on myself just with too much excitement. This happens to a lot of guys out there that practice semen retention or not. I have a best friend ( like a brother ) that happens to practice semen retention and it happened to him as well, I was a witness, we were at the pool and he had a hard on that will not go away but he kept looking at this girl that he eyed for a while next thing he told me he felt he was gonna cum on himself, I was like what? he put his head down on his arms on the floor, we were at the edge of the pool and his cock was facing the wall. I did not know he was ejaculating at the moment, it look like he was having a headache. As I told him if he was o.k I and saw bits of gobs of sperm floating below and above on the water right next to me in disbelief, it went through his speedos, I found it funny actually, but I felt bad cause I knew what it felt to have involuntary orgasm in public and you can't control it. The body is weird and has its ways to cope with stressful things we put it through. I have kinda mastered it and I keep my mind away from sexual stuff as possible. Not everyone who practice S.R will have this issue. I kinda experienced what you going through and your body will adjust and go back to normal but you need to work with your anxieties and going to a therapist can help. So don't panic, don't worry and if you do cum on yourself one day out of the blue while you shopping or whatever, don't freak out. Or have spontaneous erections playing around with your buds like wrestling or tackling. Take the time to control it and seek a professional.
     
    Leader of ME and Judas Johnson like this.
  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like a really bad experience. Luckily that haven't happend to me, but when I wake up in the middle of the night, my mind gets filled with shameful sexual thoughts (It has been a long time since I had those and wasn't shameful) and if I do not control myself I would end my streak right there just by using my mind.
     
    Judas Johnson likes this.
  6. Its not an easy road, its good to have at least a buddy that either understands NoFap and willing to help you out or that practices the same what you do and each other can help out when things are getting rough. From prayers to sleep overs, anything that will help not to fall in temptation and start wanking.
     
    Judas Johnson likes this.

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