Reminder: You are entitled to nothing

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Alexander, Jul 24, 2018.

  1. Alexander

    Alexander Porn Addict
    Staff Member

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    Quit expecting so much from your accountability partner who you met online and have known for less than a week.

    Quit expecting your accountability partner to be there for all 10 of your daily moments of distress, all while ghosting on them whenever they need help.

    Quit expecting to be able to complain about your life for 45 minutes in a row while not giving your accountability partner a chance to bring up their struggles.

    Quit expecting your accountability partner to be an industry professional who understands everything there is to know about porn addiction, the brain science, and best ways to quit.

    Quit skipping your scheduled meeting time with your AP just because you are feeling well.

    Aim to get out of an accountability partner relationship what you put into it.

    ..and if your accountability partner is taking away far more from you more than you are receiving from them, consider ending the relationship. There are always other fish in the sea.
     
  2. Becoming Jasmine

    Becoming Jasmine Fapstronaut

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    *Audiance applauses. Thank you SOO much for bringing this up!

    I see this kind of thing absolutely everywhere in my life, and it drives me nuts. People expect other people to be like the stupid little apps on their phones, always there when you need them, never demanding anything from you. It’s truly sickening to see how little empathy some people have.

    Anyway, just thanks for responding to this issue, it means a lot.
     
  3. Asher_

    Asher_ Fapstronaut

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    If they expect that much they should be paying. If it's free it needs to be mutually beneficial.
     
    Pacser, Eleanor and Becoming Jasmine like this.
  4. Lapirata48

    Lapirata48 Fapstronaut

    I think in addition to having an accountability partner here, go get one in real life too.
     
  5. Youcanttouchthis

    Youcanttouchthis Fapstronaut

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  6. SCANBE

    SCANBE Fapstronaut

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    As Jasmine and Asher_ said above this sort of message can apply in so many ways outside of this site. A lot of people forget it's always a 2 way street (unless your driving downtown which I don't care for). This has the same mentality for those who think the world revolves around them. I always think of the ocean critters like humans. You have the mutually beneficial relationships and parasitic relationships where something feeds off the host.

    In the past I've been around people who seem to do nothing but complain and in turn I found myself heading down the same path. It's no bueno. The best I've done for myself back in ~2012 is distance myself from the negativity and watched my life improve.

    I suppose the presence of nothing is better than the presence of negativity?

    I'm day 1 on this site so haven't looked into the whole AP thing yet.
     
  7. Knight55

    Knight55 Fapstronaut

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    Why do my posts have an eyeball? Did I break a rule?
     
  8. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    Well said. Be the AP you would like someone to be for you and things should work out nicely.
     
  9. xtremity

    xtremity Fapstronaut

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    I do not have positive experience finding an AP here. Then I learned to check in daily on Events and Challenge. It is just effective, if not more than effective than an AP.
     
    Fighter Never Quit likes this.
  10. barmantag

    barmantag Fapstronaut

    If anyone is looking for a 100% accountability partner I am willing to put in the effort if I can get an equal support. just private message me please and we can plan a way to be mutually supportive.
     
    Cilicio, dukesoup and RollerCoaster like this.
  11. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Great advice! Thanks!
     
  12. Casper400

    Casper400 Fapstronaut

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    I like the way you put that. I joined the forum last year but haven’t really been active on it.

    Would I possibly be able to enlist you as an accountability partner?

    Thanks in advance!
    -Shane
     
  13. SoccerDad

    SoccerDad Fapstronaut

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    What if i’m 14 and I don’t want my accountability partner to be a 30 year old pedo. And all other people my age are never responsible enough for this?
     
  14. john1780

    john1780 Fapstronaut

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    I could be your accountability partner (were the same age) but Im leaving nofap
     
  15. SoccerDad

    SoccerDad Fapstronaut

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    Why you leaving
     
  16. john1780

    john1780 Fapstronaut

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    I just dont feel like nofaps helping me and I would get people messaging me then never talk to me again once they learned I was catholic
     
  17. Knight55

    Knight55 Fapstronaut

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  18. FirstStepSecondStep

    FirstStepSecondStep Fapstronaut

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    you being catholic is the sole reason why this thread died
     
    SirWanksalot likes this.
  19. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

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    lol
     
  20. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

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    Actually, the last message was on 18 April and the catholic was mentioned on may 3rd, so I guess the thread died before that....
     

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