Relapsed, relapsed, and relapsed again.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by OntoANewLife, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. OntoANewLife

    OntoANewLife Fapstronaut

    106
    46
    28
    I woke up on day 15 of a new PMO streak. I woke up confident, proud of what I had accomplished. I ended up relapsing the first time around 12, so then I thought it would be a good idea to smoke some weed to get my thoughts and my head together.

    But instead, smoking produced an aphrodisiac effect, causing me to delve deep down into my own thoughts and I was confronted by a boatload of emotions. My immediate response was a flood of sexual thoughts as I attempted to run from these emotions on a conscious and subconscious level, resulting in 2 more relapses within the span of 5 hours since my first.

    Now it seems like i suffered for no reason. Part of what I relapsed to was sexual material I haven’t viewed since before I even started attempting NoFap. Now i feel like all progress is lost, not sure how to bounce back.
     
    Talalelsayed likes this.
  2. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

    290
    374
    63
    It can be a failure, or it can be a lesson. Depends on your perspective.

    Perhaps you went with wrong alternative to face your own emotions. Some people can handle smoking weed on NoFap some cannot.

    You were looking for a way to manage your emotions somehow and it crushed down on you. Alright, its not the end of a world you perhaps need to sit down, take a deep breath and review what went wrong, have a deep conversation with yourself.

    Okay, now that you noticed that smoking weed doesnt help, maybe try with journal, spending time in nature or taking a walk to get your thoughts and mind together.
     
    Kiz Whalifa and Talalelsayed like this.
  3. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

    1,184
    5,739
    143
    You thought being stoned would improve your cognition? :rolleyes: No Sir! Clarity of mind comes from not polluting it with weed!
     
  4. OntoANewLife

    OntoANewLife Fapstronaut

    106
    46
    28
    It’s different for everybody, but marijuana in fact does tend to sharpen my senses and provide a little bit of insight. I don’t consider smoking the mistake at hand, I consider smoking in that situation the mistake. I’ve maintained streaks prior whilst smoking weed still reaping the benefits. I just gave it up so I wouldn’t grow too dependent on it and so I face my emotions without a crutch. We all have our coping mechanisms, whether it be video games, music, food or even marijuana. I don’t think we can expect to be perfect, but I don’t think marijuana whatsoever “pollutes” the mind.
     
  5. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

    303
    218
    43
    Hahahhaa trueeee
     
  6. NuevaAmerican

    NuevaAmerican Fapstronaut

    192
    197
    43
    I like weed and find it to be very beneficial in self reflection and seeing things from a new, equally true perspective. I on the other hand overdo it. Itd be cool if I could just smoke weed on Sundays or something and reflect on my week and inspire myself to be better, but if I have weed in my house, I'll smoke it all day everyday and get jackshit done. I have poor impulse control, hence me being here on NoFap but it affects other areas of my life as well.

    I feel enlightened for like the first 30 mins after smoking, then im just lazy and have no will power to do anything other than watching porn. It also incites the imagination, which includes my sexual imagination which leads to relapse. So for me, weed is a trigger for porn.

    Not saying that weed was your trigger - it probably had more to do with the chaser effect from your first relapse at noon.
     
  7. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

    290
    374
    63
    If i am correct ... there are various weed strains you can grow for different type of 'hit'.

    Maybe you should opt for low THC and high CBD ones.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  8. OntoANewLife

    OntoANewLife Fapstronaut

    106
    46
    28
    It’s interesting you say that, because that’s what I intend to do on this new streak. Smoking once a week for reflection and somewhat celebration for every 7 days I go no PMO, but in social situations ONLY with no risk of it leading to relapse
     
  9. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    627
    549
    93
    This happened to me, before I started nofap I watched vanilla P and was pretty bored of it. The only side effects I had was no libido for real partners.
    After starting some good streaks and constantly relapsing for like 6 months straight, my tastes escalated unbelievably quickly to disgusting things. This is the danger of relapse binging. It strengthened my resolve to finally quit for good, but it is a lot harder to quit than before.
    Do not relapse or binge, it'll make things worse. Even if it's a 20 second blast it's not worth it as the chaser effect is absolutely brutal if you've abstained for a while.
    Keep at it man and never give up. The more you relapse the more you're digging yourself into a hole. Porn cannot be used responsibly, especially by addicts.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  10. Never thought I would find a similar case right in here.

    Just like you brother, I am facing a similar situation. Tried to moderate weed but I also keep some stuff in my home and end up smoking it, almost every day. It has kept me in a relapse cycle since last few months. Hope we are able to moderate it to once in a while.
     
    NuevaAmerican likes this.
  11. NuevaAmerican

    NuevaAmerican Fapstronaut

    192
    197
    43
    Yeah I got rid of all the weed in my house. The longest streak I've ever had coincided with the longest I ever went without weed.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. That's a great step mate. I am going to do that this Sunday.

    Then it's better to get rid of it once and forever. I see that you are 2 days clean already. Wish you a long streak this time :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2019
    NuevaAmerican likes this.

Share This Page