Relapsed after 15 days

Discussion in 'Reset and Relapse Reports' started by planters1987, May 16, 2018.

  1. planters1987

    planters1987 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed last night. I don't even really know why. I talked to my friend for a few hours. Got off the phone and immediately pulled my junk out. Then I went to apple music and looked up erotic audio and fapped to it. It sucks that it seems I will do whatever to get the dopamine rush. I think I got triggered when my friend sent me pictures of his girlfriend. I'm thinking its the novelty of a girl I barely know. I also noticed that I am not challenging my negative thoughts. I think about having sex with women often. I think about having sex with my neighbor. I think about having sex with my boss. I really need to manage my thoughts. Its not okay for the women and its not okay with my wife. I havent been unfaithful in action, but I have been unfaithful in my thoughts. Whats that quote your thoughts become actions, actions habits, habits character, character destiny. So I must do better.
     
    PMO addict, RobbyGo36 and Xigwon like this.
  2. Xigwon

    Xigwon Fapstronaut

    Thanks for reaching out—it shows that you want to have a better life. But just "trying to do better" will do nothing.

    I invite you to answer these three questions:

    1) What is the BIG reason that you want to quit watching porn, and how often will you acknowledge this reason every day?

    2) WHERE and WHEN do your temptations come, and how are you going to fight them and flee from them?

    3) What actions do you long to do INSTEAD of porn, and how are you going to start those actions right now?
     
  3. flor3334

    flor3334 Fapstronaut

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    Nice one. I must remember this tomorrow after work breaking my habit to watch porn around a certain time.
     
  4. planters1987

    planters1987 Fapstronaut

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    1- the big reason is my wife and my religion. I'm positive I would lose my wife because of PMO
    2-where living room and my bedroom, when: when my wife isn't home because she works nights, when i'm bored, when I have pent of emotions,
    3- I dont really have any actions I long to do instead of porn-I work out, I spend time with my wife and kids, I have a great group of friends that are my fraternity brothers, I joined a catholic fraternity in adulthood,

    honestly, I dont really know why I do it besides wanted to having an orgasm. I do feel like when I miss my wife I fap more.
     
  5. Xigwon

    Xigwon Fapstronaut

    Okay man. Remind yourself of #1 every day. That's why you're doing this. Pray that God would allow to see clearly how He views PMO, and let that influence your actions.

    If you're tempted in your house, go for a walk. Don't come back inside until you're ready to fight temptation.

    Keep those things up! Remind yourself how fulfilling they are compared to giving into an addiction and jerking off in front of a screen.

    And never give up man. Try everything you can. Talk to everyone you can. You can do this!
     
    RobbyGo36 and planters1987 like this.
  6. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    As usual, @Xigwon has gotten you off to a great start. (Incidentally, that's my big reason, too; you can see it in the early pages of my journal, linked under my avatar.) Now: how are you going to remind yourself of that, at least twice a day for the next 60 days?

    Then: what will you do, if you haven't already, to go learn something about this addiction and recovery? I like to suggest the glossary, linked at top of the page, and the New User List of Reboot Resources. Then go see what you can see in the In Case You Didn't Know thread that @D . J . set up (he might have given you a welcome message when you first started; he hangs out in the newbie forum the way I hang out here). Then go look at some of the stuff at Your Brain on Porn. That one will keep you busy.

    What's the next thing you have to do?
     
    Xigwon and RobbyGo36 like this.
  7. planters1987

    planters1987 Fapstronaut

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    I'll put a reminder in my phone for the middle of the afternoon and at 9:00pm.
    Also thank you for the link and your time
     
    Xigwon and bike-wrench like this.
  8. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    I am both totally stealing that idea, and kicking myself for not having thought of it first. That is next door to perfect.
     
    Xigwon and RobbyGo36 like this.
  9. planters1987

    planters1987 Fapstronaut

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  10. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    A lot of my relapses felt like it just took over. So I started to work a more solid program and stay a few steps ahead of that. So far I haven't felt that feeling of my addiction "taking over" that I used to get. I think if I keep working a program it will keep the thing from "taking over". I will work on avoiding the little slips so the big slips don't happen.
     
  11. planters1987

    planters1987 Fapstronaut

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