After few days of serious mental breakdown which you can see in my previous thread, I relapsed. It didn't even feel good. Once last night and another time this morning. I didn't watch porn though but still it's a relapse. To the people who might be in the same position as they are reading this message ( in the future maybe) and are considering to masturbate after a long time of nofap, I suggest to seriously think it through. I did it because I was goddamn tired of being lonely and all the attempts I had made toward finding a girlfriend.It's just impossible. I am a 29 year old virgin who is very unattractive (3/10 psl) and can do nothing about his life. I am a total useless person. The reason I did it last night was because I was exhausted and fed up with everything in my life. I am digesting the Black Pill. I have to find a way to control it though. Of course I have the experience to do that easily. I believe in myself but I have tho think this through because last night I felt like celibacy for one year and nine months was for nothing. It really didn't do anything for me. I am still completely against masturbation addiction as it has the power to destroy your life, especially at the younger age(specifically teenage years). But last night I felt that not masturbating will do me nothing as it did not help me with anything special during these period of time. I did not watch porn during that time but the thought of having sex with someone always crossed my mind every time I went to bed. Also last night I realized it has not helped me with my ED. I did not have one single morning wood during the whole NOFAP period. To be honest, it does not matter that much since I can not have the actual sex. It's pretty sad that there are no brothels here also so I can do something about it, not to mention the thought of getting an STD is what preventing me from streetwalkers. Thank you for reading. If you have any question, I'll answer here. Edit: You have to be an ugly 29 year old virgin to understand this. This is for the virgin in their late 20's or 30's.