Relapse

upside · Feb 19, 2014

relapsed badly this morning. Having been shooting my mouth off on this forum ( and others) about what everyone needs to do to quit porn, it's particularly humbling that I have to report the relapse.

Anyway, not going to feel sorry for myself. Going to start quitting again right now.

Mmmm, nom nom nom... humble pie... nom nom

Mark · Feb 19, 2014

'If you get knocked down six times, get up seven.' ~ Japanese Proverb

Keep going mate http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2660-Keep-going

freedomwarrior · Feb 19, 2014

Upside, no problem shooting your mouth off and then relapsing, but make sure you have learned from the lapse about what triggered you, why the trigger was not diverted, what was going on in your head at the time, etc, etc, etc. Please share your thoughts so we can all learn and get one step closer to healing.

William · Feb 19, 2014

No one quits the first time. No one. I mean no one. I am sorry. Get back on the bike. Quitting is a process, not an event. Humility is a part of quitting. Humility sucks, I don't care what the saints say. It really does. What Mark and Freedom said. Get up, move forward. Porn is not an option. This may not be your last failure. I failed many times, until I did not fail again. Keep going, porn is not an option.

Peace.

Clive · Feb 19, 2014

First step in traditional 12 step programs… admitting you you have a problem (i.e. humility)

upside · Feb 20, 2014

All your responses much appreciated.

The cause of the relapse was I'd been doing pretty well at shutting down sexy thoughts when they came into my head but on that night a couple of thought's managed to take hold and then snowballed. It was late when I got home from work and I told myself that if I could just distract myself for an hour to try to kill these feelings I could go to bed and start over the next day. And I managed to do that - doing some quick book keeping for work was pretty unsexy and calmed me down a bit. But then I was cold and restless when I woke up at 1:30am and the feeling of inevitability that I was going to relapse had really taken hold, and that was that, I couldn't take the pressure any more. I wanted to contact my accountability partners but it was the middle of the night and didn't seem reasonable.

Next time, I'm going for a walk if this happens. I find a dose of fresh air and some physical activity clears my head, and I'll walk and walk until the pressure to relapse subsides. And also I won't be near a computer.

Day 1.

upside · Feb 20, 2014

Got myself a counter [takes another bite of humble pie]

Clive · Feb 20, 2014

We've all been there! Thanks for sharing.

One other tool you may benefit from is a spreadsheet. This is better at tracking overall progress, and not just a streak. Counters can be depressing for some people if you slip up.

See this link: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14584.msg254730#msg254730

freedomwarrior · Feb 21, 2014

upside, thanks for the insight. It will do you more good than me, but I am proud of you for sharing. Good job on the counter. Noticed the counter is for PMO. When you woke up in the middle of the night, did you just rub one out and go back to sleep, or did you get up and access porn in the middle of the night?

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Relapse

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