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Relapse and girlfriend fapping for me

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Skillz1029, Jul 30, 2017.

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  1. Jul 30, 2017 #1
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    okay guys so Thursday July 27,2017 iFinally made is 22 days in until iRelapsed. Going to start over a clean slate for August 1st. And trust me this is going to be a big accomplishment when iFinally pull this off because I've been watching porn and fapping for about a decade now. Pretty sure minimum iWent was 2-3 a month. And last couple years I've done even like 2-3 in one somedays lol ‍♂️. But anyways I had a question. what if my girlfriend fapped for me, would that still be defeating the whole purpose? Sounds like it would be, just want to confirm becuase iAm going to pull this off the right way. Because we ain't really suppose to be having sex like that anyways, for reasons, celebate. but we do oral sometimes to each other and fap for one and other. But if it ain't right let me know so I can cut it off. Thanks in advance
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 30, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 30, 2017
    #1
  2. Jul 30, 2017 #2
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    First of all, welcome to NoFap :)
    btw do you feel it is bad for your addiction to keep having sex with your gf? if yes, talk to her and pause for as long as you feel you need it otherwise if this does not impact your recovery keep going. what do you need to do for a successful recovery?
     
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 30, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 30, 2017
    #2
  3. Jul 30, 2017 #3
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply. For a successful recovery for me, iWould say eliminating my eyes from seeing pornography on a device or television. And me not using my own hands to fap. My main concern was if my girl giving me a handjob is it the same thing as fapping. Becuase basically it's the same thing just not with my own hand. iGuess it's the same thing as giving yourself head if you could LMFAOOO . But idk iJust wanted some feedback on that. If you know what iMean.
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 30, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 30, 2017
    #3
  4. Jul 31, 2017 #4
    anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

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    Hi.

    Congratulations on committing to quitting PMO. That is the first big step. In my opinion, if you eliminate fapping and pornography from your life totally, then activities you pursue with your girlfriend will not damage your recovery. If you and your girlfriend are having sex together (albeit not PIV) , focusing on pleasing each other, then that seems like a very healthy replacement for your PMO habit. To me, a HJ from your girlfriend as part of love making to strengthen your relationship is a world away from fapping on your own to porn.

    ANH
     
    anewhope, Jul 31, 2017
    anewhope, Jul 31, 2017
    #4
    samnf1990 and Potato93 like this.
  5. Jul 31, 2017 #5
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    lol i know what you mean. I am a girl btw. ok so stop porn and fap. improve yourself as a person. boredom and unhappiness are what bring to addiction so fix that. yeah letting your girl to fap you is the same than do it yourself. well, you can keep doing oral sex. Do you feel triggered to watch p and fap after oral sex?

    If you see oral sex doesn't help your recovery either, you have stop that too at least for 30 days. I read about your celibacy, for religious reasons? does she know about your addictions? and also i am using a free app called R Tribe where i put my thoughts everyday before going to sleep. It keeps me motivated. Talking from almost 5 months of recovery :emoji_grinning:
     
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    #5
  6. Jul 31, 2017 #6
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, this is the answer iWas looking for. And thanks, it's a pleasure being in this space.
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    #6
  7. Jul 31, 2017 #7
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    you

    Thank you, and yes she does know about my addiction. And no iDont feel like oral would effect my recovery. But if iHav anye sex incompleted iWould feel like rubbing it out. And so your opinion is not to let my girl give me a handjob ? Just wanna make sure iGet that right.
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    #7
  8. Jul 31, 2017 #8
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    would getting an hj from her take you back to watch porn and fap?

    if yes, stop for a while (30 days minimum)
    if hj doesn't trigger you to watch p and fap, let her do it

    it is as simple as that
     
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    #8
  9. Jul 31, 2017 #9
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    #9
    green lion eating the sun likes this.
  10. Jul 31, 2017 #10
    Skillz1029

    Skillz1029 Fapstronaut

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    What's your name on r tribe, I'm going to add you
     
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    Skillz1029, Jul 31, 2017
    #10
  11. Jul 31, 2017 #11
    JJSh

    JJSh New Fapstronaut

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    hi I think fapping and sex with someone you are in a relationship with are very different. For me the goal is to have as much genuine, loving, intimate sex with my wife as possible - this is opposite to PMO, which is lonely and fantasy based. Of course you have to make sure your sex is not just getting 'you off' ( rather than being mutually loving). Also, there is a danger of resorting back to PMO after real sex - the chaser effect so watch out for this - good luck
     
    JJSh, Jul 31, 2017
    JJSh, Jul 31, 2017
    #11
  12. Jul 31, 2017 #12
    Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Simple, try to convince her to have more sex with you until your addiction is sasiated... being that oral, hj or whatever...

    Or you should simply get away of having any sex, the hard part. That way you wont be demanding much from your gf too.

    Why not penetrative sex? I was wondering...
     
    Potato93, Jul 31, 2017
    Potato93, Jul 31, 2017
    #12
  13. Jul 31, 2017 #13
    Noland

    Noland Fapstronaut

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    I love how you do "iDont," or "iCan't." It'd be more satisfying if your name was Apple.
     
    Noland, Jul 31, 2017
    Noland, Jul 31, 2017
    #13
    samnf1990, green lion eating the sun and Potato93 like this.
  14. Jul 31, 2017 #14
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    i haven't added anyone on r tribe. my statuses are pretty intimate so i don't feel like sharing it with others but myself
    i use it as a notebook. hope you understand. but really r tribe helps me a lot and i believe it will help you as well :emoji_hugging: keep fighting :emoji_muscle:
     
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Jul 31, 2017
    #14
  15. Sep 1, 2017 #15
    Steve1453

    Steve1453 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Skillz1029 ! :emoji_dolphin:
    Imagine trying to beat PMO alone, i.e. without a close relationship with a partner. Surely the battle would be much, much harder ? My opinion, for what it's worth, is that your girlfriend is your greatest ally in this struggle, since your physical relationship with her, no matter how limited it might be, means that you don't have to live without sex while you wrestle with PMO.
    Good luck to you.
    Steve ....
     
    Steve1453, Sep 1, 2017
    Steve1453, Sep 1, 2017
    #15

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