Relapse after 7 weeks. Encouragement needed

This saved me a few times: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/the-ten-questions-of-relapse-prevention

I wrote the answers down when I was feeling motivated, and them read it afterwards when the urge came. It's hard to properly answer this questions when you got that huge urge within, but reading my own previously motivated answers did the trick for me. I keep this in my pocket now!

 

The fact that you have control over the internet filters is a huge problem. Take it from me--I had great intentions when I installed an internet filter on my computer years ago, but as long as I was in control of it, I *always* relapsed. Always, always, always.

If your best friend was an alcoholic and decided to get a giant lock on his liquor cabinet to help him abstain, do you think it'd be a good idea if hey kept the key in his pocket? And yet that's essentially what you're doing when you have the ability to turn off your filter.

I'm not trying to be harsh, here--I've been in your shoes many, many, many times.

What you need to do is pick a trusted friend who knows that you're struggling with this, and let THEM set the admin password to your filter. Any adjustments that need to be made to your filter will have to be done by them.

My wife has the admin password to my filters, and that's worked great for us.

You're absolutely right--it is much easier to play with fantasies than to deal with real, flesh-and-blood women. But eventually, you will sink into despair as you realize you've spent countless hours obsessing over fantasies that don't exist, and will never exist. Your reality will always feel dull and boring compared to your fantasy life. Even if you might be in a great relationship with a beautiful woman, it'll never be as exciting or thrilling as porn.

You have to starve this beast ... and if you know you need to "do it properly," understand that priority #1 is handing over control of that internet filter. It sucks, and after you do it, you'll wish you hadn't, and you'll have bouts where you rack your brain trying to figure out how to get around it ... but it's a world better than just trying to resist on your own willpower.

A filter that's in your control is basically as strong as no filter at all.

 

Have you tried cutting out all masturbation as well as pornography? For me if I indulge in M, it always leads to P.

Regarding internet filters, I've used them for years, and they have been brakes on my P usage. Yes, there is always some way around. If worse come to worse, one can always go to Best Buy and purchase a portable internet capable device and *voila* back to P. I would know this from personal experience, btw, one time I was desperate to watch and all my devices (laptop, phone, etc) were locked down in a way I couldn't unlock them.

On this current streak I have removed the filters. I could type porn into the search now and nobody would be the wiser. I live by myself so there is no one watching over my shoulder. My internet connection is one I personally pay for so there is no one who would accidentally see my browser history. I am also a pornography addict and have spent years fighting.

But on this streak I've been putting the "lock" in my mind: porn isn't an option now. It doesn't matter if it is right in front of me, I'm not interested.

Not saying that going filter-less is a great way to start. It's not how I started. In fact, I even went a year without web access at my apartment for the sake of cutting back on Porn usage. However, the end goal I believe should be FREEDOM. That's what I'm shooting for, I want to be free from this addiction.