Regular words of encouragement thread

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by berlincalling234567, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    Brothers in arms...!

    I have given much thought on how to contribute to this amazing community of brave men while also meeting my personal needs on this journey. And given the fact that I tend to read a lot I decided that I will start a regular - if at all possible, daily updated - thread posting and compiling words of encouragement for anyone in need thereof.

    Feel invited to stop by, gather courage, think about the words, leave behind a few words of hope and strength yourself for your fellow fapstronauts; think of it as a virtual, digital campfire where you can always pause for a moment, touch base and reconnect with others before carrying on with your life.

    Godspeed, we're in this together!

    Berlin
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2019
  2. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    Personal:
    Speaking for myself personally, it's actually quite simple: I don’t want to be a slave anymore. I want to stop being ashamed, isolated, lonely, disconnected. I want to be able to look people in the eye, go out into the world and face it - like a real man should: unafraid, brave, with strength in hand and heart.

    Excerpt:
    In recovery, we each rebel against our disease. Each day we fight for the freedom to stay close to our Higher Power, friends and family. It's mainly a quiet battle. It's fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to meetings, or read about how to improve our lives.
    We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life.
    We are quiet fighters, but we're strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose. (Keep it Simple)

    Quote for the day:
    "In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give
    out completes the circle and comes back to us."
    --Flora Edwards
     
  3. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    In porn, everything is fake. In porn, performers always look their best. They are forever young, surgically enhanced, airbrushed, and Photoshopped to perfection. Porn makes it look like no matter what a man does, the woman likes it even though the majority of sex acts are degrading or violent. The women in porn don’t offer anything close to a representation of being with a woman in real life. Studies have shown that when both boys and girls see sexual media, they gain stronger perceptions of women being sex objects.

    "Many of us face seemingly insurmountable difficulties, perhaps because of our compulsion or simply through
    misfortune. Whatever the scale of our problems,One Day at a Time and First things First, are keys to handling them. Today, we can deal only with today's problems. One of today's problems, of course, may be worrying about the future. A good method of handling that problem is to turn our concern about it over to our Higher Power. But when we do have work that clearly should be done today, we must carry through
    with it. It's neither reasonable nor sensible to put off things that we can and should do today."
     
  4. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is junk food. When you characterize porn as an addiction it tells you that it is hard to break free, that it is a struggle, that relapse is inevitable-- all things that have nothing to do with porn. But when you characterize online porn as junk food, the solution is obvious: don't eat it. Condemning it, banning it, hiding from it-- all will lead to failure. Lust isn't the trigger, boredom is. This may not be a reassuring solution to some, but I can promise you that it is the only solution: you have to decide: I am not the kind of person who wastes time on that. For the sake of everyone around you, stop eating junk food.

    'Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.' (Dalai Lama)
     
  5. berlincalling234567

    berlincalling234567 Fapstronaut

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    Research has found that after men are exposed to pornography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any porn. On top of that, another study found that after being exposed to pornographic images, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual curiosity, sexual performance, and displays of affection. In one of the biggest studies on porn use ever conducted, researchers found that after being exposed to softcore porn, both men and women were significantly less happy with their partner’s looks, willingness to try new sex acts, and sexual performance. Porn users kill their ability to perform sexually in real life by conditioning their brain to get aroused by sitting alone in front of a computer rather than being with an actual person. Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention. Young women feel they can’t compete. For how can a real woman—with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond “More, more, you big stud!”)—possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification?

    ----

    Today I know that I belong. I am not alone. I do not exist outside of
    the human race. I am an important part of this world.

    Addiction makes us feel different, separated and isolated. It keeps us
    divided within ourselves, our family and relationships. So long as it can
    do this, it wins.

    Now I know that I belong. I make up a part of the whole. Something of
    this universe is mine.

    I am not an island unto myself. I am an essential part of the human
    race. I am at home in my world.

    ----

    Often when we're being tough and strong, we're scared. It takes a lot
    of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be soft.
    --Dudley Martineau

    Heaven and hell is right now. . .You make it heaven or you make it hell
    by your actions.
    --George Harrison
     

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