Hey all, There's been a lot of back-and-forth about the issue of young men doubting their sexual orientation on here, particularly teenagers who begin watching gay/trans/whatever porn and undergo a period of serious doubt over their sexuality. I was reflecting on that and thought, 'heh, there was that time I got heavily into gay furry art, created a fursona and proceeded to engage in online sexual encounters with other guys...' Then I realised that this is actually the place to share that. Noone ever knew or knows now that, from 15-17, among other really fucked up things I don't want to share, that by night I was a homosexually-oriented fox named Shifty. I largely browsed online repositories of exclusively gay furry porn and engaged in cybersex with dudes who were probably twice my age on a MUD (Multi-User Dungeon; an archaic form of text-based online RPG.) At the time I felt incredibly conflicted about what that meant about my sexuality. I was genuinely into the art and online scene, but it tore me apart when I was going to school and knowing that if ANYONE found out I would be completely destroyed with ridicule and judgement. I must admit, this isn't quite up there with what I'm reading about young guys getting into HC transvestite videos, but I feel that I can relate enough to share the outcome of that experience. I went through the pain and shame internally, over the course of those years I tested that against my real-life attraction to girls. I wondered why I was being tortured like this. Eventually I became dimly aware that I was trying to come to grips with the fact that I had been forced to perform sexual acts by older boys from a young age, and exposed to my sisters' promiscuity in a way that was probably more damaging again, to be honest. It played out for a couple of years, I finished high school, didn't have an internet connection for a couple of years and it passed. Panicking about what's happening in the present is understandable, but if you're in a similar situation, I ask you to perhaps gently start probing within your being as to what the underlying cause of the attraction to that material is? For some, it's because they're actually gay, they're exploring it as an intermediary between what they 'should be watching' and what they actually feel. That is AWESOME, though of course, we're all about eventually moving away from the need to watch porn entirely here. I love my gay friends; you can be silly in a way that you just can't with the majority of people, and they understand what pain is through the horrible judgement they have endured growing up. Don't be afraid of being open about it, most people are accepting these days. To be honest, whenever people came out in high school the reaction from the vast majority was 'yeah, no shit,' hahah For me, a hetero guy however, the fantasy world was a safe way of exploring the questions that came up from a troubling upbringing and things that I simply wish never happened to me. Eventually it was resolved. You gents have the amazing ability to access resources like this these days, so hopefully you can sidestep a lot of the guilt and fear and pain by finding a peer group on forums such as these. This may well cause a shitstorm, and mods, please use your discretion, I won't get all messed up if you choose to delete this without warning, but I hope that my target audience- dudes who are that age and in a massive sense of conflict over what they're being drawn to seek out- might find some solidarity in my story and most importantly, know they're not alone. Cheers.