Reflections at 3 months

Recently returned to NoFap this past summer after a few years of sexual sobriety. Thought I had rid myself of the worst aspects of this problem up until that point, exactly 3 months ago. Upon relapsing, I officially labeled myself "an addict", started reaching out here and slowly began picking my self-esteem back up and regaining a sense of self. It was a little different this time around; I had a lot more apprehension and doubt if I could really do it, despite having had some success before. I used pretty much the same approach as I did the first time, except there was more of a gray cloud this time around. It felt like I was just trying to numb the sense of defeat with other activities. Despite this, I can't complain, NoFap was here for me, with arms open, once again and I made sure not to take this gift for granted. I've tried to make my presence known here a little more, trying to impart some of the lessons I've learned, even though I know I'm only a tiny part of this community. I reached out to an accountability partner for the first time; a great guy who has helped me see this problem from different angles and who's been there all the way for me, and I've tried to do the same for him. Reading the many stories here has made me feel a sense of indignation at how porn is affecting so many good people across the globe. It's a cruel, insidious trap that robs us of our lives despite our ability to refuse to view it. I've realized that if I had to change one thing about my life, it would probably be to never have started down this dark path. I can't go back, but I can learn the lesson once and for all, pick up the pieces and move forward, a little wiser and facing each day with both eyes open wide. Being this way is rejuvenating, something desperately needed as I get older. And remember: we're all not getting any younger and the sands of time wait for no one. So solve your problems while you can and live the life you really want, because you can.

Will update again a few months down the road. Thanks for reading and all the best to everyone.