Redemption is my goal

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by The Great Warrior, Jan 8, 2019.

  1. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    My Story is one of addiction, love, hate, depression, anxiety, foolishness. and i have not succeeded in my 90 day challenge. Or even a 30 day in the last year. i been doing NoFap before i heard of NoFap as my doctor suggested after i came to him with ed problems at 17.

    im 20 im getting older and i do not like how my life is going and i know how good it would be without porn and all the problems surrounding it. i no longer want to think the way i do actually i have never wanted to but not im not going to let it happen not anymore.

    im here to fight my addiction once and for all i need to do this it is an essential part in my journey in life and im going to be so happy when i finally rid my self of this way of being.
     
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  2. Jpr

    Jpr Fapstronaut

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    Good for u dude . So I say thinking of small goals rather than oh I need to reach a month challenge etc. If u want a goal rather than a long goal like a month say a 12hr to 24hr goal than build up from tat to a 2 day etc... None of us r perfect we all mess up were human but doesnt give a pass to give in theres days I would love to give in trust me best of luck dude
     
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  3. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    yesterday and today pretty much stayed indoors and gamed that's how I got my last good streak, maybe a little unhealthy but the first few days are one of the hardest days for me. either way its been two days now i'm happy i'm on a streak even if small its something. I challenged some thoughts and buried them quick and reminded myself I don't want to think like this, i'm done thinking this way its not me not anymore.

    let everyday be my challenge tomorrow i'll go for 3 days and then 4 days with everyday a victory. I think I need a task list to get myself moving and get myself going in the right direction instead of sitting at home with nothing to do and making no progress in the line of self development.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2019
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  4. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    so its a new day i'm here to remind myself of my goals and here to organise myself for success. so im going for 3 day steak today im not going to sit indoors all day today gaming that would not help me as i mentioned in my last reply. so ive to make a to d list to get me sailing in the right direction.
     
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  5. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    in this message i talk of a good plan however i did not follow it i stayed indoors gaming like the other days but i've completed 3 days now and today i'll go going for a 4 steak today. i really would like to know how to put my life better bit by bit slowly but progress you know maybe i don't know or am too addicted to gaming probably to addicted to gaming i need to start doing the right thing today i will make the list if its the only thing i do !
     
  6. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    4th day successful today i was pushed out of my comfort zone and it wasn't that hard but as i said i was pushed why do i have to be pushed why do i just block myself from these things when they're not even hard to do. this probably doesn't make any sense to you, in short i know what i should do but i do not act. also the list is not done but i made some progress with it.
     
  7. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    day 5 were going for 5 day streak today i plan to go to the gym and do some cardio get an early night tonight to get my sleeping back on track as its been way off and i start back to school Monday
     
  8. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    day 5 almost finished no gym but will get my early night i believe i need to get rid of my distractions goodnight
     
  9. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    early rise this morning woke at 7 out of bed by 8.15. i'm aiming for 6 days today i know i will succeed but still ill be careful. i heard good things about doing meditation when you get urges. hopefully i remember this when i get urges. In the past temptations have came about from social media i think i will put a stop to this and also i'm quiting gaming i know its going to be hard but it does not serve me i get nothing from it and its making me less attentive to situations of less action and less dopamine. i have many things to work on and gaming does not help me grow in a positive way. i have started reading and stopped reading but im going to start again i wont have too much free time because i'm going back to school but i think its more important i work on myself then school but i will have to do both and this is oactually great because i'm going to drop everything that doesn't help me grow in a positive way. im trying to be mindful all the time starting from today and its great ive already notice way more things and becoming more curious about life
     
  10. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    so i have just came from social media after maybe 10 minutes i just remembered that i'm quiting social media. anyways today has been a success for quieting gaming it was hard at first but then i just listened to podcasts to pass the time and it did was some interesting information i learnt. i did have one very intense disturbing thought took awhile maybe 10 seconds to snap out of it, its very hard to deal with this thoughts because they fight with others you don't have to understand (i dont feel comfortable talking about it) ill i know for sure is i need A lot more nofap. off to gym now and then to sleep so ill count my 6days completed now!:) 1 more day for a week dam im progressing fast !:)
     
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  11. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    had a good day today overall time to plan my tomorrow because there is infinite possibilities and no more time to waste
     
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  12. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    today i started back school i notice i have a communication problem alot of times i dont hear what the other person is saying and too embarrassed to ask them to speak louder or repeat what they said because of what happened in the past (i ask them to repeat what they said too many times and each time i just got more and more embarrassed but still do not hear so i just end up pretending to) and also they will find it annoying when i ask. but i have had a few conversations today and started some which is hard for me but i know this its something i have to work on and i plan to have even more tomorrow. also i seen this woman and i think i freaked her out a bit from her face expression, i was tired i guess i was just staring blankly at her for a second, she was in the direction i was going should i have smiled or something? i dunno i don't really know how to probably would have freaked her out even more. also a really beautiful woman smiled at me she was working so i guess its her job like but still felt great we also had a very small conversation but i wish i could talk to more woman like her comfortably, one day i will. today has been okay still more to come but i have enjoyed it so far and today is the day that will mark 1 week for me after this day is through so today is special.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019 at 4:24 PM
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  13. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    today is day 8 i dont feel good i just dont. todays been abit more difficult im trying but im not trying hard enough. im gonna go gym and try get an early night tonight. tomorrows gonna be differnt.
     
  14. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    did some meditation for about 40 mins feeling better
     
  15. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    so not an early night as i expected earlier my day turned around and i think meditation helped and also doing exercise and being with people
     
  16. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    ive such a good feeling about this streak i think it will be my best yet but im just gonna take it daily, i will be going for NINE days tomorrow !:)
     
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  17. Jpr

    Jpr Fapstronaut

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    Who cares I have the same problem sometimes & tell ppl to repeat wat they've said a couple of times cause sometimes they speak too low dont enunciate their words correctly or talking in a different direction & if ur really embarrassed just lie & say ur slightly deaf lol. I wouldnt of smiled imo she would just gave the same weird face tbh. Good for u dude its progress it might be her job to talk/smile but hey a smile is a smile ( sounds lame ik but she didnt have too)& gives u practice to socialize more itll get easier.
     
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  18. Jpr

    Jpr Fapstronaut

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    Dude congrats on 9 days tats awesome!!!
     
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  19. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    today is day 9 will be over soon im tired im not going to go gym today but i will read a chapter of my book. today i woke up and i wasnt errect but i was kinda half i just felt good randomly down there.

    i been thinking about going to see a therapist see what they think. i think if im to get over my anxiety, i'm going to need a therapist to tell me exactly what i need to do and guide me through it. i feel like my motivation is decreasing or im just not trying hard enough or i don't know what i have to do.but i need to do something i dont feel like im progressing very fast the way im going
     
  20. The Great Warrior

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    day 10 home from school already. i have a lot of free time now i mustn't spend it all indoors. my main ways of viewing P are on my phone and laptop. and the places are my room and toilet. so i can be in those places without the devices or on the devices but not in those places and ill be fine. however there are so many more triggers on my phone so ill just use it for calls.
     

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