Recovery Work - Frequency & Time Spent

I'm just going to list everything I do for my recovery.
• meditate in the morning 20 min daily
• Call my sponsor on my way to work 30 minute phone call
• Journal most days 10-30 minutes
• I do 3 daily's , 30 min
- tell 2 feelings
- give 2 compliments
- and 1 hope for the future
• I read or listen to an audio book for 30 min a day
• I do my recovery workbook homework 20-40 min
• I sometimes help kenzi with hers and also help as a sponsor to other IAs.
All this time I still have time to spend with my kids and do work around the house, and I still go to work everyday.
It's about 3 hours daily that I am actively doing recovery work. (this doesn't include date nights) there is no excuse for why anybody should not be working towards recovery. the only reason is because they are refusing to make the effort.

 

I’m lucky if I put in 3 hours per week. There is always room for more, for sure. I’m am certainly not a rockstar like @Rock_Star. That time is split between group sessions and retrospective with the wife. I feel it is more than that though (does NoFap count?). I am not at a point of good work, life, recovery balance. Hoping to make changes there.

 

Now we know why RS is RS.

• I go to 4 SAA mtgs a week. Take commitments.
• Most work days up between 4-4:30 to work out 30min
• Meditate 20 min TM.
• Meditate 2x if too tired to wo.
• Pray during day as needed.
• Mid day or later 20 min meditation, as possible.
• Pray and or visit local house of worship as needed.
• NF several hours a week
• Misc phone calls and talks with program people.
• Varies on weekend, read, write or meet and talk.
• recovery activities always morphing

Writing it down
is an interesting exercise.

Edit; this work grew
with things I’ve found
or was guided to.

Seems there are many ways home.
Changes will continue,
Until further notice.

 

I go to couple of different SA groups, but there is also SAA like @Trappist goes to and even SLAA. There are even CSAT groups as well, usually divided in men and women or for the betrayed or addict.

 

I’m told there are committed groups that meet together with CSATs.
There are 12 step retreats.
Inpatient...
Mine is the lower cost version.

Edit. Grateful to have 2 accountability partners, too.

 

At NF I have a couple of APs who we chat about our struggles and recovery. This has worked well. I’ve learned from them and they remind me the path is narrow and how we can thrive on it.

I’ve worked with newcomers face to face in SAA. I see some of the denial, self-deception, unwillingness that is so common in addiction.
Also see the struggle and willingness too, along with recovery in action. And some that don’t and leave. It is so valuable to see this and try to help them as this helps me.

My sponsor wants work from me
and is from a long line of hard ass sponsors. I think that is best.

But this would seem so destructive to a spouse. It seems like it would be damaging to a relationship on one hand for a PAs spouse to say “that’s bullshit, quit lying to yourself and me.” I know a sponsor, if not doing it exactly right, is asking the newcomer to admit he does not know it all.
So often.

Firing a sponsee may be a necessary and a growing experience.
Firing a spouse requires a lawyer.

I try to bring my best and also humility to my SO.
She lets me be the best man I can,
in spite of my failings. I’m so grateful for her kindness and love.

I talk to my SO and answer
what she wants.
She can read here, but doesn’t,
I think.
She is an accountability partner maybe.
Am accountable to her
and share what I learn here.

We need all of these
accountability structures, maybe?

Anyway that’s what
I think I know today.

 

My hubby spends 30-60 minutes per night (tries to do it minimum of 5 nights per week), a weekly SA meeting with daily calls to his sponsor, and therapy at least twice a month.

 

I think it's important to note that this time spent on recovery activities didn't happen right away. In fact, it took quite a bit of time for him to get to this point. He started attending SA about 15 months after Dday. That was his first real move towards recovery. Before that he was rationalizing, pretending, still lying (to both me and himself), and trying to hang onto any shred of his addiction that he thought he could get away with. He thought that if he could just pacify me enough, he wouldn't really have to change.

It is a process, and a slow one at that. Real positive changes won't happen until the lightbulb goes off in an addict's head exactly how detrimental the addiction is - to themselves and those around him.

 

Someone at a meeting
said this exact thing last night.

This may be the slow building of wisdom like small LED elements eventually appearing as a string of Christmas lights?

 

What a sweet thing you
made for your hubby.
I think.

@AnonymousAnnaXOXO
Might use as much?

Nice list, mine are hand written except for basic meetings I keep.

Buy in is important, edited to fit?

I know my activities were slow to become what they are. They change as I’ve grown into this.

I love parts of it that note cuddling.
Like a card that is a coupon for such.



Funny, I wondered if these could be a check list
to do at least some number per day. A la carte...

 

This looks great! I hope he appreciates it. My husband has a few different spreadsheets for various areas of his recovery. Excel is a wonderful thing.