MEN GO AWAY. THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR YOU. I've been using porn since I was measuring my age in the single digits. I had a TV and would JO to the scrambled playboy channel that would broadcast in. As I got older I got the internet, porn became freely available, and functioned as my sex ed. I didn't learn that I should regard it as harmful or even be embarrassed by it. This is partly due to my choice in friends as a teenager. In my late teens and early twenties I went through some severe sexual traumas -- basically a form of sex trafficking. At the time I didn't even realise that what was going on was bad because I was so desensitised to my own suffering. Around 2012-2013 I established baseline safety for myself and in 2015 I started to understand the negative effects of porn on myself as a person and also society in general and endeavoured to quit, and this attempt actually lasted quite a long time, I went something like 8 months without porn or masturbation. If I have a criticism for myself in improving on that attempt "next time" (really there ave been hundreds of attempts since, but, not very good ones) it's that I always viewed relapse as somewhat inevitable during this period. As a result, I am sure, of poor sex education, I viewed abstinence as a sort of building tension over time which was sure to escalate in intensity until it snapped. I don't think it has to be that way. I don't think that the historical celibates have all died with like 80 years of stocked up horniness. I don't think when the Buddha preached conquering one's cravings for pleasures of the flesh that that's what he had in mind. That said... I do not have another working model for how exactly I am supposed to view this? I am actually now a somewhat religious person, for some values of the word, and in addition to being horrible for me, porn use is completely at odds with my personal values. Masturbation less so, but it's clear that I can't handle it. But I believe I do have an addiction in some sense. I experience a rush of endorphins and pleasures of the flesh and by the time I snap out of it it is several hours later. If I'm tired or frustrated it's the perfect remedy. but building new habits for dealing with those situations is difficult to me largely on account of my ADHD. I think being tired is the biggest trigger by far for me, but obviously I can't just avoid ever being tired. in fact im usually tired. ive never had a job and live in a warm humid climate Another issue -- I'm not sure if it stems from the porn thing per se, although it certainly has common cause IMHO, is that I'm extremely manipulable sexually. I'll pretty much never turn down sex from a woman. For the past several days I have been rejecting the urge to put a booty call down on a girl I had one terrible date with. I actually don't have a principled stand against premarital sex or anything, but forming that kind of bond is obviously unhealthy. i would rather associate with people for other reasons, you know? but i experience an almost total loss of impulse control when i'm on the verge of a "relapse". in quotes because using after 2 days isn't relapsing, it's just using. it should be noted that my impulse control isn't generally amazing anyway but it's only really with this that it becomes a problem.