Rebooting P-addict (maybe also sex-addict??) Mixing sex and P in my addiction...

I’m 28 yo and have been on Reboot for 45 days. This is my first post.

I feel like my problem with P is different than the ones described by most people in here. I hope some of you understand my position and can help me out.

I have always had a lot of sex. I have had four girlfriends each one over 2 years time and I’m still with my current girlfriend now. I have been with just short of 100 women, I am very outgoing, social and positive person. All this might sound as bragging, however, this is not the intent. I feel like my problem with P might be linked to sex with women.

In general all my relationships and sexual encounters have been with good sex, no ED problems and no problems with O with partner. The last 15 years of my life have been like this, however, all the time I would still use P. I could sometimes have sex in the morning and then PMO twice during the day, then twice the next day until having sex again in the evening. With one partner we even used P together while having sex. I have also had problems with being unfaithful and have had multiple partners.

I want to be free of P totally, and I have been so the last 45 days. In average I would PMO twice a day, but often for 45 minutes a time and when I didn’t do it, I would think about doing it. It was controlling my life and taking up my time. I have M 8 times during the reboot period but without P. I have also had sex maybe 20 times in the same period with my girlfriend. I have been with my current girlfriend for a year now and have never been unfaithful to her. I would really like to be free of P and at the same time being able to be 100 percent faithful to my girlfriend. I am going in the right direction and I am seeing a lot of benefits. The sex has gotten better, I have more lust for my partner and I enjoy life even more than before.

So here is my actual problem:

When I see girls on the street I think about having sex with them - all the time. I live in a big city and it is spring time. Last week I was at a street party, sober, and a drunk girl walked over and started to kiss me before I pushed her away. When I’m in a public space I just look at women all the time and I want to have sex with them, and I feel like I actually could - but to stop those thoughts, because I want to be faithful to my girlfriend, I think about going home or to a bathroom to watch P. P has been my go to place to not be unfaithful to my partner. Now when I don’t use it, I’m just crazy horny all the time when being outdoors. Sure it help having sex with my girlfriend, but she is not interested in having sex more than maybe ones a day. And we don’t even see each other every day. I’m used to having maybe 10-15 orgasm a week, 4-5 from sex and the rest from P. I was hoping it would get better, but it is actually just getting worse, I am getting more horny all the time. That is the reason I have done M several times during this reboot, without P, just to loosen the pressure, so that I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Also, I have had a lot of hardcore sex, like P hardcore, and I have gotten used to that being normal. I don’t have that with my current GF, we have great normal sex. However, I keep thinking about all the dirty things I want to do to her, that she is not interested in, and that makes me want to relapse too.

Is it possible that I have a sex addiction as well as porn addiction? I know the two generally are very different. I was just thinking that my symptoms match both of them in some cases: If I am a sex addict, I am a sex addict who watches a lot of porn and where porn controls part of my life. However, if I'm a porn addict, I am a porn addict who has a lot of sex and don't have physical symptoms, and is still very social and happy.

I see all the benefits from abstaining and I want to get better. I just want to have a normal relationship with myself and my partner. Any thoughts or advice? Have anyone been in the same situation? Should I try to abstain from sex in general as well?

 

Thanks Spurta, I think you might be right. Maybe hard mode is the only way forward.

 

Thank you for the replies Jimmy and I wanna get better. I actually think that an underlying cause might be a heavy work load and stress. I have been meaning to cut down on work and maybe start on mindfullness or meditation. I think I will consider your different advice the next couple of days and then maybe have a talk with my girlfriend before I decide anything.