Rebooting from sexual fetish

Hello ta all. I wanted to know if anyone knows if someone can erase a femdom fetish( or a fetish in general) that was built into his brain since early childhood by rebooting. I am talking about myself of course, I am almost 60 days with NoFap, I absolutely feel much much better and I have tried this before in the past for 20 days and it worked for a little bit. But how can I make sure that my brain will not relapse to what it knew before even having sex with a woman again in the future? I am able to do "vanilla sex" but until now I haven't enjoyed myself 100% without the damn fetish fulfillment that I was seeking to ,masturbate with afterwards in the web. And by the way I am not young I am 39 and had the fetish dancing into my brain since I can remember me, some of my girlfriends have tried a few things in the past to satisfy me, but in general most women get tired by this concept and I want to feel as much fulfilled with normal vanilla sex, before anything else.I have tried therapy but it was bull-shit experience, until I discovered the reboot people and it was like I discovered a shiny way out from my dead end. Any opinion if the reboot will work perfectly with that?

 

Τhank you both so much for the time and effort to reply to my thread! Very interesting information ! Well I believe the whole thing works like every typical addiction. For example if you were too much addicted to cigarettes, it doesn't mean that because you quit smoking you are not addicted, addiction remains in your brain for all your lifetime but you do not allow it to relapse by never trying to smoke a single cigarette ever again in your life. Which means, what will happen if even by accident someone would try a little bit of a fetish that has been successfully rebooted in the future ?

 

Thank you all, every word of your comments is helpful and inspiring, I once believed there was no exit from that dark tunnel, but I was wrong. For me it doesn't matter how hard it is to find the way, it matters that there is a way.

 

Thanks again. Well I have entered my 3d month of nofap, I am not sure but it must have been approximately more than 70 days. Due to my age it's easier to hold my cravings but the last days I feel like my libido goes higher and higher. Gosh I don't want to fap but I feel like I got to get a woman. What's there left to see is if the fetish urges will kick back again in my brain or not while on the sex act. I have wasted no more time on it, I have been trying to develop new thoughts but, practically it remains to see my development infield. I always say to myself "let's do it" but I'd be a liar if say I am not scared sometimes that my fetish urge may hit me back and I will not do the good sex a normal woman would generally enjoy, well after all this time I am scared of a performance anxiety.

 

As I forgot to mention before, I have recently broke up(a month ago) after 7 years of relationship and the reason I broke up was that I couldn't function adequately with normal vanilla sex, there were times that this was coming and going, sometimes I was fighting my own brain and succeeding in it, sometimes my brain overpowered me and I was relapsing back to my femdom fetish instincts, it all ended up with my woman losing her trust on me and it was the end. A couple of days ago I went on a date with a great good looking girl and it didn't work out well for me. The reason was that she seemed too submissive for my instincts and I felt numb and couldn't make a move any further! I feel like shit and totally confused right now, what I am trying to fight, hits me back with vengeance. Today I tried to jerk off myself only by vanilla sex thoughts and it was impossible, I am frustrated, I can't work, I don't know what to try to feel better. Have you guys been through this? If yes what did you do to overcome it?

 

Thank you my friend. I see you are still very young and I believe you can fight it sooner than I did. I had this fetish tendency while I was almost a baby! Before porn. The reason, I had a mother who was a lawyer and could do much better than my father financially and eventually she became my "father" after my parents broke up while I was 6 yo. More than that, I was left with my grandma for long periods because my mother was working too much and I had another disturbing experience of my grandma abusing verbally my grandpa who had health problems and couldn't reply back.
No need to say why I ended up in femdom.
I am an artist and even worse than porn, I started drawing my fantasies, I also sold many of these drawings to femdom fans. It was the most difficult part for me to quit doing that, recently I broke up with my girlfriend, a person who might have been the woman of my life, because I didn't invest much in my sexual recovery from femdom instincts. I was to do femdom art for a website that would bring me so much money that I would solve my financial life problem, yet I decided not to, I gifted them all my last artworks, I said f@ck your motherf@cking money and I burned the bridge behind me. I am determined to never ever look at this kind of porn or draw such stuff ever again.
Your story is similar to mine ! Although I will tell you what I discovered in me and what helped have some good intercourse with my girlfriend which unfortunately didn't keep up for long because or relapsing.
Try to combine your femdom instincts with vanilla sex! It's a matter of thinking how to approach vanilla sex. We can't become dominant beasts from submissive slaves with a click of the brain, but we can change our approach towards sex. Example, you can think of giving sexual pleasure to your "queen" as a real man, it's much easier than think you are the king and she is your slave, makes sense?.
I know that women like to be a little bit dominated, they like to be told what to do. I've heard a lot about finding a woman who is into femdom and we'll live happily ever after. I could never ever find a single woman who eventually wouldn't like to have a dominant man by her side. But there is something more I discovered that will help you, being dominant is not only in sex, it's a life approach and dominant doesn't mean a deuchebag tyrant, dominant means, a man who expresses openly and without fear what he wants, a man who is perfectly fine with himself and a man who can take care of himself. Work on these and your psychology will start to change in combination with your sexuality. I am working on that right now and I am almost 40 years old. You are 20, you can take a year off to educate yourself, read, meditate, work out, quit femdom porn and of course reboot, what the hell you will be 21 or 22 after this, the whole life is in front of you, I can tell you that even 40 feels still young! In the end, I know that it's against this forum but in our specific case sometimes vanilla sex porn has been helpful because it's not porn exactly we are addicted to but femdom. In the beginning I couldn't be erected with vanilla sex porn, I wanted to see femdom more specifically, I loved karate chicks kicking, sounds ridiculous.
Right now that I have distant myself from these crap, I am in a weird flatt line, I am trying to get erected by thinking vanilla sex but it's hard for me, although my brain has not femdom urges anymore, it all seems to be at flatt line which I call "ground ZERO". It feels weird, I used to freak out in the past whenever I was trying to recover until I discovered this awesome forum. Flatt line or in our case "ground ZERO" will come, and we'll continue until we turn things around. after some months our brain becomes confused, it doesn't know what to get erected to, slowly and steadily we will build new vanilla fantasies and think ourselves as the men we want to be and the men we want to build. Good luck with your journey my friend !

 

Great! Let me know of your progress, I am on it too. Generally it's like the muscle work out, it doesn't matter how hard you tried once but how consistent you are for a long period. I'd recommend (I try this as well) to try the vanilla sex fantasies a little bit every day, until your brain shifts to that. Don't be hard with yourself, you are obviously not asexual, just be patient and keep working your brain out. I've tried it and it has worked several times, I was not consistent though because I was not sure of what I was doing until I found fapstronauts. I understand what "Ground Zero"(in my own words) is, it's the point where your brain is empty of fantasies and cannot function sexually, it is dangerous because if you don't know what is really happening you will probably go back to femdom porn just to check your erection, right? Then you relapse. It's natural, keep this up and keep working your brain, you are going from a scale of "-10" to "+10" and you are now in "0", your brain has no strong sex ideas yet, but that is good, you are not in -NUM you are in 0 you go up on a high hill.

 

As I mentioned before, I believe we can live with it as a part of our sexual interests deep down, combining it with the natural act. The trick is to make the natural act more important in our brain than femdom, as someone said above, to put more layers of vanilla sex fantasies above femdom. Another little thing that maybe you should take care off is the nutrition, processed foods have estrogens(female hormones) search on the net and choose to eat foods that raise your testosterone(male hormone). It will make you feel much better, someone said he cured his femdom problem only by changing his diet, I don't know, I believe it may help a lot, however the main part of the game is in our brain.