REALLY need help (2)

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Crunchy leaves, Oct 15, 2018.

  1. Crunchy leaves

    Crunchy leaves Fapstronaut

    Hey, first of all, sorry. This post is basically the same post like before but with more information. And sorry for not detailing it into who is she and another stuff since it's really a disgrace to my life. Since if someone IRL know it, I may not be able to live my life normally again. Since if I use the real one, even I'll lose faith on this website again and delete my whole account to keep it as my darkest secret. (I'm a male btw)

    The new part is in bold except the warning one.

    ---PLEASE BE REALLY CAREFUL SINCE I'LL DETAIL IT AND IT HAS A POTENTIAL TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE RESET/RELAPSE---

    30 days ago, I lost control of myself, and quickly relapse. At that moment, I used a massage tool. Since the surface of the massage tool is rough, and I were influenced with my fetish and some story that I used to read long time ago, I use "her" pants as a cover. Also, due to my hygienic standard and fear of disease, I choose to use a clean one.

    I relapse shortly, and the release of it is concentrated at one point. While I'm cleaning it though, I discover that some of the release is scattered around. I also found that the semen has jelly-like stuff on it.

    I quickly cleaned the surrounding too, and then, I smelled her pants to make sure that I didn't leave any sign of me using it. The jelly-like stuff however, only have a little smell compared to other. At this point, that day, I'm pretty sure that I didn't smell any release since my release is kinda strong smelled one. I'm uncertain over the possibility that the jelly stuff still remain. After that, I returned her pants to the shelf. Then, she use her pants approximately more than 5 hours after I used it.(if only I didn't doing all this stuff...)

    And then, 18 days later, I remembered this stuff, and quickly losing all my motivation to keep abstaining from PMO. At this point, my memories are already faded off, and I started to not sure that I have cleaned it properly from any possible pregnancy cause. My overthinking brain quickly make a WHOLE LOT scenario included of "what if".

    16 days later, I decided to run off an experiment. I re-do it all and then monitor it for 4 hours in the same environment. I can't say that the release is a drop or it's already scattered but I used the scattered one. Then, after 4 hours of waiting, i discovered that it still not dried completely yet. It's still wet of my release. I run off another experiment, if the undies thin, then for 5 hours it has mostly dried up. If the undies thick, it still dried, however the jelly-like stuff still not dried up yet.

    Now, I'm still highly concerned of the possibility of pregnancy. I have researched it on the internet, and the medical website one said that if the sperm got the right environment, it can live a whole day. I decided to run off another experiment, and then know that my release is kinda consisted off approximately 30% of clear fluid. Another thing though, I've read that sperm take 70-90 days to be fully ready for "pregnancy stuff". And for 90 days before this thing happened, I'm PMO free for the first two weeks, and then I can't hold my streak to pass 7 days until that day.

    Now, the first question is, is there any possibility of pregnancy? Serious...she still, nah, better not tell it. What matter is that she is really important for me, and if something that terrible happened (pregnancy) I may as well being casted of from my family, neighborhood, town, and live with misery. The second one will be, is the jelly-like stuff is much "productive" than the normal one?. Third, if you can't answer this, I still hope that you provide me a link where I can ask someone expert on this (free one please, I can't spend my money on this stuff)

    Thank you for your kindness to read this story. I REALLY appreciate every help that you can provide, since this problem is holding me up to continuing this fight. It feels like I've been too late and that there is no point of doing this anymore...

    What a weird story eh?
     
  2. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    Doubtful anything would happen as the chances are extremely small. But, why risk it?
     
    Crunchy leaves likes this.
  3. Crunchy leaves

    Crunchy leaves Fapstronaut

    It's already happening. Past-me think that it's okay if I don't leave any trace. It's only lead to my destruction now...
     
  4. Crunchy leaves

    Crunchy leaves Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry if I worry for trivial things like that but somehow it really affect me...
     
  5. human_c-137

    human_c-137 Fapstronaut

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