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RE superpowers: Fantasizing about GF in response to PMO urges

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Strawhat, Feb 17, 2014.

  1. Strawhat

    Strawhat Fapstronaut

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    Hey, first post.

    Background
    Started PMO at the tender age of 8. Lost V @ 17, couldn't ejaculate on my first ever fuck.

    I've probably reached orgasm about 5 times during sex. When they'd start to hurt, I'd wank myself off and finish inside/on them. This doesn't constitute 'finished' sex in my book.

    This hurts the new squeezes feelings. I researched solutions to delayed ejaculation and a-sexuality when my boner started flopping out which scared the living bajeezus out of me.

    Current situation
    In a once-a-week open relationship. Visually infatuated with my partner. Went on a 1 month break when I discovered this noPMO thing. We've had sex once since and I came within 1 minute, but I can now maintain my boner afterwards which is a bit nice.

    I had 5 wanks in that month, not worried about porn addiction - 4 days of committing to noPMO, my ED evaporated, desire returned and I can get solid boners at will.
    A true rapid-fire success story..!
    I feel amazing and more like a man. PE is a minor issue for the time being. I can now cum more than once in a night which I've never done before, making the PE a total non-issue. I also lick the pussy with my entire face which women appreciate.

    Now our break in the fuck buddyship is over, I'm abstaining from MO 100%. My O's will come from women from now on. Last wank was about 3 days ago. I want super powers, that's the only reason I'm not MOing.

    Question
    Can I fantasize about my girl(s) and get super powers?

    I'm at my PC at the moment, feeling the trigger which would have had me PMOing.

    Can I go and lay in bed and think about getting a BJ off my girl? The fantasies won't match those depicted in my old favorite porn vids.
    Will this give me a dopamine rush, meaning I won't get super powers?
    Seems I'm replacing the old stimuli with new stimuli and not addressing the chemical problem. Having sex doesn't bare any relevance as the times I'm having sex are rarely at the same times I would have PMO'd. The times I want to fantasize are the same times I would have PMO'd.

    1 girl can't satisfy my urges without being with me every night and morning. I don't want to get attached/heartbroken at this point. I need super powers to get more women of the same quality into my rotation so I can combat the major over-sexed problem I'm facing.

    Like experience appreciated.
    Regards,
    Strawhat.


    PS - honesty about not wanting attachment + heartbreak + seeing other girls are the cornerstones to successful open relationships. Feel free to discuss open relationship tactics in this thread and directly with me via the PM system. Bare in mind however I use no manipulation/silly pickup artist tactics so spare me that nonsense..!

    Straw.
     
  2. CheshireCat2323

    CheshireCat2323 Fapstronaut

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    I don't recommend fantasizing about your lady, it will more than likely lead to relapse. Also, if you're having urges that would require multiple women in rotation to satisfy every night and morning, that's a problem. The porn has created this artificial need, it has taken a natural desire, sex, and amplified it into a horrific beast of burden. I have to ask you, what are you passionate about in life? Do you have something you want to pursue, do you have goals, hopes, ambitions, desires? When you distill your sexual desires to their true form, they are simply desires. To fully recover, you'll need to change your desire to more productive ones like writing a book or becoming an engineer. Even if you could have a different woman every morning and night for every day, this would not be enough. You would still be wanting for more.

    A fantasy will result in the dopamine rush. The solution is to get a dopamine rush from something healthy, like exercise or doing something constructive that you care about. Fantasies are probably the hardest part to shed and let go of, and require intense self-discipline. If you're looking for "super powers," self-discipline is of absolute necessity. This isn't so much a matter of shutting down the power to a place you don't want it to be, but to rewire your circuits from the wasteful area, to a useful place. Make sense?
     
  3. Strawhat

    Strawhat Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply mate, thanks for confirming what I suspected RE fantasizing. I'll have to keep it to a minimum. Relapse not an option really, but rewiring of dopamine circuitry is a big one.

    RE sex addiction, I don't think it's possible to get rid of that for now. I have always been addicted to something.

    My confidence is wrapped up in getting action. I'm a combat athlete + musician with a career and I learn dance. The external referencing of confidence is a big issue. My achievements outside of sexual ones pale in comparison as discipline + passion comes easily to me. Perhaps I need to pursue 1 massive grand goal to feel satisfied.

    My goals at the moment are music/combat/fitness related. Making small movements towards these goals every day doesn't do the trick as you suggested - certainly got me laid alot more :)D) but the novelty of achievement wore off extremely quickly..!

    Straw
     
  4. CheshireCat2323

    CheshireCat2323 Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you've got what you need behind you to quit fapping, lol. It seems, from where I'm standing, that if you're taking a lot more of a sense of achievement from getting laid than from your athleticism or music that could at some point (perhaps even now) make it more difficult to be happy with your life. Animals get laid every day (one image I use to keep me away from porn is imagining a monkey looking at pictures of monkey asses), but we're capable of channeling that energy into anything we want. But hey, it's your life and you've come here for help to not masturbate and not for me to decide whether or not your decisions are making you happy. This video helps me not masturbate, I just imagine I'm the chimp: http://youtu.be/khwjD-KVQ_Q

    Overall you sound like a pretty high-performance individual who just wants to take yourself to a higher level. I recommend the book Taoist Secrets of Love by Mantak Chia. It goes very much in depth on the merits of semen retention to achieve those "super powers" you're after. I feel not wasting my semen definitely helps with my martial arts and writing. Anyway, best of luck and keep that hand outta your pants =p
     
  5. hunt

    hunt Fapstronaut

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    I personally think that it`s OK to M without P (if You dont do it too often).
    If You have some dreams about some girls and so on, without going bizarre, and You M thinking about them, it`s absolutely normal.
    But the goal should be finding yourself a girlfriend of course.
     

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