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Quitting or taking a break from social media.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by FormerFapaholic, Sep 17, 2017.

  1. I also deleted Instagram some weeks ago. On the one hand because of the many potential triggers and on the other hand because of the dopamine rush which happens when I scroll through the Search-Tab. There are so many things to discover and research has shown that this curiosity is caused by the same region of the brain like porn novelty. That means that deleting instagram can stabilize your dopamine household (of course it's just one factor). And I also deleted it, because it's a big senseless timewaster.

    I use Facebook, but mainly to stay in touch with friends. Some time ago I also scrolled through the timeline very often and also found some triggers. I also often viewed my ex-boyfriends FB profile, which was often the beginning of a relapse because of all the bad feelings from the past arising. My strategy is to use the FB messenger app on the phone without the main FB app. So I have to open up the browser everytime I want to use Facebook. Maybe I'll switch to a browser which deletes its cookies after closing, because then I always have to type the login credentials again. The more elaborate it is to access FB, the less I use it. ;)
     
  2. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Interesting. I feel like a new, improved man since deleting my tinder profile and uninstalling all chat apps. Has to do with dopamine. One week app/social media free and just entered my fourth week porn free. There are things happening inside of me which I know is positive but makes me feel a bit restless and very energetic, a sense of urgency has manifested itself.

    I also, once again, recommend managing time online and with usage of your cell phone. Make and set a estimated time limit and see how it works. Just lapping around aimlessly online can lead you right back to Porn and masturbating. Know I know before what I wanna do online, and If I find myself in this aimless vacuum of random surfing I immediatly take a step back and do something else and shut my laptop down or turn my Mobile phone off. There is absolutely no need for me to have it turned on 24h a day. I have recently become quite liberal in managing time online so know it is time for a return to the basic principle!
     
    kayesem and Deleted Account like this.
  3. Code Hero

    Code Hero Fapstronaut

    I deleted tinder and instagram, and blocked or unfollowed some profiles on FB that would lead me down bad paths. I also read an interesting article recently that recommended turning your phone to grayscale. In the absence of color, your eyes are less drawn to scrolling through apps (supposedly). I switched at the beginning of this last week, and I definitely haven't spent as much time on the app; I've also noticed that when I have notifications, they don't feel as urgent because they aren't popping out in bright red.
     
  4. Great idea, I‘ll also try setting greyscale at my phone
     
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  5. Shapirous

    Shapirous Fapstronaut

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    People are using social media as a escapism, that what makes me sad the most.
     
  6. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    So, been a while since I removed Messenger and left Tinder for good, It makes me present, even when I (as I suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome with constant flashbacks) dissociate and have these thoughts and traumatic memories having their way with me. They are as we speak..

    I see both positives and negatives to it, I suppose it is for lonely people like me (trying as we text to build a new healthy network of friends and kinsmen) good having more social outlets and it is easy to access some people over messenger then it is is trough text messaging them it seems, nowadays. I just cannot hold myself from flirting with girls and it never results in anything good for me doing this over chat-apps. Never. It seems to be only unattractive girls with boring lives that offers any kind of response worth mentioning so it takes me away from approaching girls that I am interested in and kind of makes me to an asshole for letting some of these "hogs" on. So I intend to continue free from social media and apps,and It has really paid of if we look beyond my fucked up thought process - taking better care of myself, trying to be more accepting, mindful, more active and I am making a serious attempt at figuring out exactly what my values are in life, and social media tends to draw away from all of that making me chase dopamine and tits, basically.

    Hope you all have a good day, and feel alot better then I am currently.
     
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  7. i signed off of Facebook yesterday!!! I feel free!!
     
  8. RationalBrody

    RationalBrody Fapstronaut

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    Here's my view on it: Everything in moderation.

    I too struggled with compulsive checking of social media (Twitter and FB mostly). And I've established some rules to still get the benefit of connecting with friends and maintaining social relationships, and still protect myself from the harms of it:

    1. Turn off most of the notifications from the FB app on my phone (no push notifications of any kind, it will only show up the red number on the app icon)
    • Also block all Chrome notifications on my laptop
    1. Still have FB messenger installed to chat with friends
    2. Make a rule to only use social media (FB, Twitter) at most 3 times per day.
    3. Don't check my FB notifications first thing in the morning. This is so, so crucial. Doing so sets your day for failure, it gets you dragged into other people's / companies agenda. Every Self-Improvement article focuses on this rule
    4. Close my phone wifi 30min before bed and don't turn it on until 10AM the next day, when I will have finished my most important task of the day.
    5. Only check Instagram when I'm in idle time (on the toiled, or waiting on some queue)
    • Only follow friends on Insta and people who offer value / knowledge / inspiration to me
    • Don't follow half-naked thots on Instagram, fantasizing about them.
    I do understand that other people simply lack the self-control and would be better off with removing from social media completely.
    Be aware that social relationships have to be maintained somehow, else they fade away.
    Cal Newport is doing a Digital Decluttering experiment. It's on his website. Check him out if you wish.
     
  9. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your post, quite fascinating stuff. I agree point number three on your list is very central, deciding.

    I just find that you know I still have Skype if someone wants to drop me a note or so that could not be reached by phone or text messaging. So I am definetely contactable and my firm belief is that text messaging in general and specifically when it comes to social media is in the long run is harmful and impending on the relationship. The odds of somebody writing what they would not dare say and then taking it back are high and then they repent perhaps and it just lowers everything to their lowest standard and makes everybody look "standard" and conformity is like a plague in most of these social networks I find. I hate it! People have so many layers and dimension of themselves that never come to fruition or get expressed in any meaningful way in these kind of social networks.

    So for me it is not matter of self-control at all it is maintaining and upholding the lifestyle that lies closest to my personal values.
     
  10. Moonstone

    Moonstone New Fapstronaut

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    I just went through a social media deletion myself. Best. Decision. Ever. It was effecting my own perception of myself and as a woman it was hard on me to look at myself in the mirror while comparing myself to all these photoshopped Instagram 'models.'

    My whole fashion sense revolved around it and made me this fake version of myself.

    8/8 would recommend deleting that waste of space along with Facebook, twitter, & Snapchat. I feel so relieved not having to look at that crap anymore.
     
    Son of Midgaard and kayesem like this.
  11. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Is is probably good on you. I do believe the pressure on girls these days, especially in the agespan of 12-30 is totally absurd and outrageous. I remember swiping many girls younger then me when I had taken my intervall down a few years to 18-23 on Tinder and man these girls are all the same! It is like they have neither personality or any sense of true identity. 50 percent got this cleavage and everything revolves around sex and I just felt so bad for these girls, no one is ever going to respect them. They are sacrificial lamb for this new world order as far as I see it just molded and standardized into on figure as I said pressure must be insane!

    Screw social media.
     
    Moonstone likes this.
  12. Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

    I total
    ly agree with you but then again I fall down the same trap.

    When I feel low it’s the easiest ‘fix’. I really want to commit to deleting fob from my phone - but I’m scared it will make me more lonely or something....
     
    Shapirous likes this.
  13. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Being more lonely does not have to make things worse :)
     
    Shapirous likes this.
  14. Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

    Sorry if this is a really silly question, but what do you mean?
     
  15. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    It will give you a unique opportunity to get closer to yourself, your dreams, hopes and values. It is not burdening it is rejuvanating.
     
    kayesem likes this.
  16. Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

    Hmmm, I guess once you have nothing to give you a quick fix you have to sort your feeling out properly...still seems so scary to me!
     
  17. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Life is scary sometimes, that is good reason to start finding new and improved coping skills :)
     
    Peace467 likes this.
  18. RationalBrody

    RationalBrody Fapstronaut

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    Quitting social media completely is like not going out with friends to socialize and have a drink for fear that you'll get drunk. It's like saying to yourself: "I have no self-control over myself". And you can extrapolate this to anything in life basically. You end up living a life of fear and avoidance.

    Anything can be harmful if you don't use it wisely. Doesn't mean you have to stop doint it.
     
  19. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Come on! there is a hell of a lot more to life then looking at meaningless statusupdates on freaking Facebook. Rather I would say it makes life even more boring and meaningless taking part of this huge conformistic, ego-boosting project called Social Media.

    I hate it. But I am a puritan so ;)
     
    kayesem likes this.
  20. kayesem

    kayesem Fapstronaut

    Ah, just admit you could benefit from taking a break dude. No one said you have to, only that if you choose to, you might find it actually is nice for a change, and perhaps better than you would think.

    Using your phone while on the toilet is hardly wise and can even be harmful. People can become ill just from doing exactly that.

    https://www.who.com.au/phone-in-toilet-making-you-sick

    You're not fooling anyone except yourself, so please stop spewing moderation cards here in an effort to justify your own, obviously out of control and excessive, poor behaviour.
    You're projecting your own fear and avoidance of facing your own dismal behaviour.

    I don't eat or drink poison, if I can help it. That is called wisdom. I do not fear poison any more than I fear crossing the road. I do not avoid social media any more than I like to avoid getting slammed into by a bus while walking across the street. It's common sense.

    Stop trying to dissuade and discourage people from making healthy, positive choices and changes in their lives, just because you can't be bothered to try doing the same thing yourself.
     

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