Quitting or taking a break from social media.

I use to use Facebook heavy circa 2011, 2012, 2013 ...mainly for business until I got ill in 2014 and deactivated it.... Since that time I go back but just to message old friends and swap numbers to keep in touch... I never created an instagram or twitter and based on the people I see addicted to them I really don't want neither.

 

You have to play by their rules otherwise it will be an utter waste of time and you will be bored and cease using it, not logging on as often etc.

I suppose if you live a very structured and balanced life you could manage social media alot better then someone like me, a recovering gambling and fap addict. but i just don't have those tools to my disposal as of yet.

 

Anyway, i would like to expand on the closely related subject of quitting dating sites, dating apps such as tinder, match etc. I just did today. Only have got snapchat but i will remove this today also. For me i never felt i could be confident enough to be honest and down to earth, as i am most of the time offline, it was always a facade, always looking for approval and affirmation and i got often angry and bitter if a girl lost interest and particularly if i suspected they were not attracted to me, i got especially hurt. I have a huge weak spot with rejection from girls and i fear it more then death sometimes or atleast as much as i would say.

So for me it is simply a way of keeping a clear and focused state of mind, keeping my recovery, health and self worth my main objectives. The last few years i dont know how many girls i have chatted with through social media and chat apps in regards to dating: it is many many. I need to keep away almost a much as i need to keep away from gambling and fap: it is essential to remain on a fruitful path to a healthier and more dignified lifestyle.

In fact, i never feel as pleased, content and happy being alone and single as i do after leave this confusing world of internet-dating, yet i have learned i oftentimes come back as i grow bored and needy, this time i'm out of it for the long run!

 

The question you need to ask yourself is does this social media platform add value to my life?
Ultimately the answer is no.

Reasons to leave social media.

1) Studies have shown that social media usage has a direct effect on the levels of happiness and life satisfaction experienced by the user.
This is down to two important factors. Perceived social value, and false or faked happiness. Where social perception comes in to cause unhappiness is judging oneself to the lives or perceived lives of others, this can come in many formats including wealth, beauty, social standing, etc, and causes direct feelings of resentment in the users who internalize and judge their own value based on the standards set by others. Additionally the standard of faked happiness is also an attempt to put influence over others in the social circle in order to gain perceived value, and ultimately lead to people posting half truths or misinformation, in an attempt to conform with a perceived value. IE Champagne, dollah dollah bill y'all.

2) False network of friends.
We are the product of our own evolution, and most humans are unable at any time to balance and be actual participatory friends with a group of more than 20 people. This is why the earliest forms of social gatherings were tribal in nature, and we haven't changed in that respect. Just because someone has 1000 friends on facebook, does not mean anything because it impossible to keep up with that amount of people in any true form of social value. In the end it is more of a roll call of people who you have met or are acquainted with, and in this sense if you defriended everyone you actually do not interact with on a regular basis your actual friend count would be around 15 to 30.
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3) Real world interaction vs social media.
They say that social media has made our communications faster and easier and I am inclined to neither agree or disagree. When you look at what it has replaced, yes it has made it easier, but has it added value. As an interesting point, I used to receive monthly letters from my Grandfather as a means of communication, and it helped to strengthen our relationship and led to an excited expectation in letter writing. Now with instant messaging it has tended to become impersonal, and the weight of the communication doesn't carry the same value.
Same with social interactions online, it is a form of ersatz alternative to real world interactions and as such detracts from happiness in odd ways. I used to live in a small rural town that I moved to for work, the social circle of young people was small around 20 tops, and we all worked together. We didn't have a phone, no cable or conventional TV, only a vcr. If you wanted to speak, you went over to their house, simple. As a result we would regularly invite people over for dinner, impromptu coffee, or meet socially in the only bar in town, despite the options for entertainment being less, it led everyone to actively find ways to spend time together.
I feel that social media usage has become a major form of imbalance, because we do not mentally force ourselves to go out and seek company, rather we stay at home, because our brain is not good at differentiating real valueable social interaction and non-valueable secondary interaction.

3) Social media selling your information.
The more info you give them, the happier they are. I ask you, if I came up to you as a stranger with a video camera and filmed you, would you feel comfortable? If I asked for all of the important information about your life, would you feel comfortable? Yet millions of people do this by giving their info to these social networks, and it has been shown that they trade the information with government agencies, they don't have an unbiased position when it comes to your information, and in some cases have used it against people, like Facebook releasing personal information to the Pakistani government, that got a user tried of blasphemy against Islam and hanged.

4) Employer Investigation.
A lot of employers will check your social media profiles for information about you before a hiring process.
I know this as I work in HR and we regularly are made to do this, for any serious hire into the company. We also have a small branch of IT dedicated to following social media posts of all registered employees, anything with our company that comes up in a hashtag gets observed, anything negative usually leads to an investigation and disciplinary or firing. I hate to say it, but it's true.

5) Internet cancer.
What happened to original content. Most of that is gone now for the most part. Twitter is an leftist echo chamber. Facebook is just a never ending reel of cancer in the form of media companies, buzzfeed and other detritus articles, social movement slacktivism #Metoo #Womensmarch #Cantbebothered, and other junk.

6) Influencers.
Not just fake news I'm afraid, there is a constant stream of MSM stories that already slanted by the publishers get shared in a constant feedback loop. Or you have paid agents who using product placement, try and leverage their enjoyment of a great lifestyle in order to influence you to act the same socially. It does nothing good for your state of mental health.

By this point in my life, I am happy to settle for having whatsapp on my phone, and facebook for facebook messenger. I have a linked in for work. That is it. I check mine FB about once a month and for about 5 minutes, its just an online address book at this point.

 

I quite FB over hakf year ago. Seems that no one of my "friends" even noticed Good-bye ...

 

FB, Tinder, and Instagram ruined my life this past fall, and I feel deeper into my PMO loop. I had started seeing someone I met on Tinder, and then she ghosted me, but we were still friends on FB so I kept seeing her posts and photos. It amplified my loneliness drastically seeing how little this person cared. It got even worse over the holidays. I have blocked her on FB now, set up a block for her instagram account, and deleted Tinder.

I am not sure what to do about FB, because I have a large extended family on it that I like to keep track of on there, but it definitely played a part in a pretty serious depression.

 

I feel for you bud. I just got out of a long term relationship and it feels like I got my fingers burned. Never been one for doing it, but you can block her on Facebook, and make it so she can't contact you. Easiest way to purge is to go to the privacy section. Even if you kept her as a friend, you can edit what she is able to see.

 

Just took my tinder profile down. Pehw...such a emotional release! Goodbye unwelcomed feelings of rejection, inadequacy and the neverending search for immidiate confirmation finally can lay to rest.

Also took down snapchat (I took tinder contacts there for further chat...) which have been a major trigger for relapse of late. With these triggers eliminated, I see no no major trigger for me at the moment thus I can focus on myself, my process and my recovery which is exactly what I need?

And by the way there is nothing more attractive (for a man or a woman) than someone who can make decisions, stand by them and show they can maintain a high level of self respect. In addition to that, this kind of behavour tends to discourage and intimidate those who you do not need or wan't in your life.

 

This is so so inspiring and connects to me in a different way. I want to be a doctor and currently am in high school. Social media I believe makes me connect to the modern world but does not gain me any educational knowledge. It is simply for entertainment and in today's world it's a norm pressed upon us to get social media. However once you grow up you realize all of this was BS and you really value YOUR health, YOUR education, YOUR life, etc besides someone else's life.

 

This is the sad part. I still have not deleted social media but in my opinion music really helps me. Just a good song to jam or dance to makes you not think about society.

 

I always had the urge to quit social media but never left for good, only took breaks from it, i tried to left facebook once, never posted anything anyway, had to go back when i broke my phone and couldnt contact college/work friends in any other way, but leaving and coming back helped me to use it in a more productive way.

When i did 2 month no pmo, taking my hobbies more seriously helped a lot, i love lettering/graffiti/calligraphy and groups/communities inside those plataforms (facebook/ig especially) motivated me to do it more and better, always trying to improve myself and my work, and keeping up with other artists inspired me so much i can clearly see the evolution on my work.

When you start to see more harm than benefits, its the best thing to do, the last thing that made me to take a break was memes, no joke, i wasted days doing nothing and looking at memes on my phone, it was fun when it started, but they took the call of duty way and every month theres a new one turning the others obsolete, its a complete waste of time and it started to hurt my creativity, i stopped to search for new things try on my work and stopped to improve myself.

At the end it depends a lot on how you use it and your self control, identifying problems and knowing when to stop, even when you think theres nothing wrong, rebooting is good, keeps you in check.

But f*ck snapchat, that app is the worst one, the most unproductive app ever

 

Been off FB for 2 years, off dating site for almost the same.

Good riddance. Life is worth more than that, and has only continued to improve what with all the free time to work on disciplines and what not.

Less is more. Definitely applies here. The pros and cons just don't add up for the amount of time and energy you end up sinking into those things.

I have literally felt physical weight lifting from my being after deleting accounts. It is an empowering move : )

 

Great work everyone! I am happy to see others getting rid of social media.
I quit FB for a few days now and I feel better already. I'll see how long I can take it.

 

Its dangerous game because deleting all social profiles may cause even more masturbation!!

 

Dude, you are at 0 days.

wtf, c'mon man. Get real.

 

It was the reason again for my relapse omg :'(