Quit porn, no longer 30+ year old virgin

Here's my abbreviated success story: in my teens I was very overweight and shied away from trying to date any women. Later, I lost all that weight and turned out to be a good looking guy with a lot of interest from women. I had no early sexual experiences, but naturally had gravitated to porn, which became more extreme and more novelty driven over the years (I would even edit my own videos together with 2-5 second clips that were all different, since that seemed to be what I need). I tried to quit over the years when I had some bad sexual experiences - I couldn't stay hard or feel very aroused with even a gorgeous woman.

I kept failing to quit but kept trying. This last time around I told myself I wouldn't take an all or nothing approach, if I relapsed, I wouldn't be focused on the "streak" so much as the frequency of masturbation. Over the last seven months, I've PMO'd probably 10 times total, and no times in the last two months. I've been seeing someone and we've had intercourse six times, twice I wasn't able to orgasm, but the other four I was - not prematurely, not too long, it just felt easy and natural. Way better than being alone with porn all those years. The idea of a woman was finally a turn on to me again, and it's been getting better and better and I respond more and more naturally. Brain fog has been gone for 6+ months, and when I think of porn it seems to hold very little appeal, as if my brain thinks, yawn, that's not what leads to pleasure anymore. I don't think I'll ever be "cured" in the sense that I could ever healthily use porn, but I do think I have broken that addiction enough to not be tempted to go back down that road. I know where it leads and it's not a happy place.

It's worth keeping at it. It took me years to overcome and finally break free and have successful sex with a woman. Real intimacy is so much more fulfilling than the titillation of porn. A virgin at 32 years old no longer, I can say the struggle was worth it.

 

It was a combination of being obese, losing the weight, having body image issues, and only making an attempt by age 24 to have sex with anyone. It went badly, as did the next four times. It felt "right" in that I wasn't anxious or nervous, I just wasn't turned on. The very next day, I looked at porn and was rock hard, incredibly turned on. It didn't take long for me to accept that I was very Pavlovian - I could get aroused just opening up a recovery tool to recover porn files I had deleted. It was a lot easier to recognize my addiction than finally overcome it. And I'm someone naturally happy by myself, so the motivation was a struggle given porn was appeasing my sexual appetite. My attempts became increasingly serious around age 30, since it seemed life was passing me by. This time around, sex really turned me on, was exciting, etc, and felt like it was meant to. Now and then I'll think about the porn I used to for a couple seconds, and it doesn't give me any rush, thrill, excitement, etc, almost just out of habit the brain seems to look back at those memories. It's such a weak temptation there's no way I'll allow myself to give in to it again. Good riddance!