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Question on the state of being 'down'

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by noMoreGiggidy, Dec 28, 2014.

  1. Dec 28, 2014 #1
    noMoreGiggidy

    noMoreGiggidy Fapstronaut

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    I kind of a question that i'm struggling with though.. So a few years back i tried nofap(although i didn't know what it was at the time). It was right after i broke up with my ex-gf, i held it for about 2 weeks. I was probably extra encouraged because i didn't like the idea of my ex thinking sex controlled me. Anyway, those two weeks were surprisingly really happy weeks for me, i made a few chunk of new friends, a few cute girls that i actually liked always smiled and wanted to hang out with me. This was all kind of working because i was doing a really good job NOT thinking about my ex, and especially not thinking about sex. I was focusing instead on useful things.

    So finally at the end of these two weeks my ex texted asking for some bullshit help with her homework as if we didn't break up. This absolutely tilted my decision on me focusing my thoughts, I was caught between answering her. I didn't answer, and I think I held out on PMO for another day or two but man.. My heart.. I couldn't even think clear.. Just writing about it brings bad emotions back.. So, to get to the point I relapsed.

    Then a few weeks/months later I tried noFap again.. Which at this point I'm not good emotionally. How ever this time I ALSO went for two weeks, hoping that not PMO'ing would make me feel like i did those previous weeks. Except these two weeks were still pretty bad, I couldn't talk to people even though i wasn't PMO'ing, but i relapsed this time because i wasn't seeing the same result as last time.

    So the question i'm struggling with is, what kind of techniques have you used to control your thoughts(to have a really, very tight grip) when you get are depressed/unmotivated.
     
    noMoreGiggidy, Dec 28, 2014
    noMoreGiggidy, Dec 28, 2014
    #1
  2. Dec 28, 2014 #2
    EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest


    I gained when I finally realized that I cannot "control" my thoughts.
    I can only get BALANCED and thus, I can get BALANCED THOUGHTS.

    This was THE BEST INSIGHT I ever had.

    So what really helps:

    Either when I have urges, or when I feel depressed/unmotivated, then a kind of meditation helps wonders!!

    I lie down for some minutes and let my thoughts wander. They are like clouds on the sky; after some minutes, the sky clears up. This already helps a lot.

    Then, sometimes, I go further. In my mind, I go into "my private room" - this is the "room" where I have all my life goals. Things I really would like to do. It takes a while until I settle there. Then I take one life goal and I inspect it further. I imagine that I am doing it. Nobody can disturb me. After a while, I am satisfied and I leave the "room".

    Then, I think of what I want to do in reality next. Then I stand up and begin with my work.
     
    EternalWaves, Dec 28, 2014
    EternalWaves, Dec 28, 2014
    #2
  3. Dec 28, 2014 #3
    whiterose1778

    whiterose1778 Guest



    I love this idea you use :) Thank you.
     
    whiterose1778, Dec 28, 2014
    whiterose1778, Dec 28, 2014
    #3
  4. Dec 28, 2014 #4
    Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    Don't relate your problems to Pmo
    Learn how to feel the right emotion in the right moment: how ?
    example:-stop getting angry all the time(make a challenge that your not gonna get angry for a period of time , sometimes we need to learn how to live without a specific emotion to gain control over it)(after that when your mad your gonna tell yourself(ah here it is this is anger nlaugh it off and keep going forward) (do not avoid fights or situations that are going to make you pissed off , anger is a healthy emotion that you need to feel from time to time (i'll try to wright a thread about this in the future.
    -Abstain from technology for a period of time , learn how to combat negetive thoughts such as (self pity-depression) - being able to control your thoughts is not an impossible task , but it's takes time for the muscle to tighten up
    -Try to Identify every Emotion you feel (oh that's pain-that's resistence -oh this is attraction that am feeling right now ) this process will make you more aware of what you are thinking offù
    -Learn how to cut off negative thoughts (it takes time) i remember when i first try this tecknique it took me about 3/2 months to clear my mind of depression etc , just when you get a thought about self pity ,Identify it ,and cut it off immdietly .
    ---> i can't control my thoughts evertime everywhere of course , am not a superhero BUT i'm in a point where when i commit to something i Do IT , i have no negative thoughts/negative feedback(btw i don't meditate) i get negative feedback from tiem to time but i know how to counter attack'em
     
    Razielcreed, Dec 28, 2014
    Razielcreed, Dec 28, 2014
    #4

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