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Question about ED

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Deleted Account, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. Ive never experienced ED. So I have a question for those who have.
    Is your desire for sex affected by ED or do you feel the same about sex, but just can’t perform?
     
  2. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Good question. I've been suffering of ED for 4 years and my desire for sex is still affected by this experience even if i'm able to perform now. In my opinion one single experience of ED can change you for the rest of your life.
     
  3. So do you still desire sex? Or I guess my real question is did you desire sex when you couldn’t perform?
     
  4. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if i desire sex or not. Most of the time i feel confused about it. The only thing i know is that when i'm performing i usually perform good. When i was not on nofap i used to feel the same but i wasn't able to perform.I don't know if i'll be again able to live sexual desire like i did before my ED experiences but i'm quite happy with being able to perform right now.
     
  5. It’s an interesting question with no easy answer. From my experience ED and lack of desire for sex goes hand in hand. As we know, PMO affects the brain, NOT the penis. I believe that when we begin to compulsively use porn we lose our innate ability to connect with possible lovers on an emotional AND sexual level. Since we can no longer connect to a real life human sexually we 1) no longer desire real life sex and 2) are no longer able to get hard from foreplay or real life sex.

    Of course, I would love to have sex with someone. But do I desire it? Not at the moment no. My brains lost the ability to desire a real partner. Sex wise, my brain only desires porn at the moment.
     
    SoyForThisBoi and Tonytone like this.
  6. Thanks for sharing, I know it’s probably not easy to talk about.
     
  7. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I was engaged to a man with DE and it did significantly decrease his desire for partnered sex. Because he could never O from sex it was very frustrating, unenjoyable and made him feel like a failure. He still had sexual desire just not for partnered sex.
     
  8. I thought you couldn’t have sex with ED. Am I wrong?
     
  9. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    There are different types of ED or erectile dysfunction. What you are speaking of I believe is when a man cannot sustain an erection and in answer to your question that does not necessarily mean you can’t have penetrative intercourse. Most men with that type of ED absent spinal cord injuries and other conditions can get erect just for not that long. Even for those who can’t ED meds usually allow for them to. Still others can use a technique known as stuffing with a flaccid penis or get implants.many cannot penetrate but can engage in foreplay some can even orgasm flaccid. But most men on here are not suffering with actual physical ED it’s mental and since sex is in very large part based on our brains sure those men still have sexual desire. The only two types of ED are delayed ejaculation and premature ejaculation. DE men can have sex for hours they just can’t reach orgasm. For most it’s situational meaning they can reach orgasm alone or with their hands but not a partners. And PE men can have sex it just does not last that long. For the most part women if men with ED lose sexual desire it’s mostly due to the frustration that sex causes them. It becomes a stressful event that makes them feel like failures.
     
  10. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    ED elections are usually softer too.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  11. Thanks, thats very informative. :)
     
  12. Desire can lessen somewhat mostly due to the frustration of being unable to perform.
     
    Tonytone and GG2002 like this.
  13. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    Sad, but true.
     
  14. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

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    But the candidates are equally bad.
     
  15. Bogeygolfer

    Bogeygolfer New Fapstronaut

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    My experience is different, I'm healthy in every other way, but I've experienced ED since my first attempt at sex when I was 19, I'm 57 now. It's off and on but it's rarely on at all anymore, with a really nasty woman it works a little bit (last time I had one, 20 years ago), for a short time, but with normal women it just doesn't seem to work, or it works at first when the experience is new and then it stops working after the first or second time. That being said, who wants to have sex when you know it's not going to work? So hell yes it affects my desire, I avoid women now. I'm an older, extreme sports guy, attractive, in decent shape, women love me...but now I'm in this ED prison where I avoid women and intimate relationships because I have to always explain to them how I've had this "problem" all my life and how "it's not them, it's me"...it sucks. So now I sit home alone every night and watch TV. The ED drugs work when the pills are new, but they're expensive and they go bad after a while and I feel drugged when I take them. Say I want some ED pills, the doctor visit costs me a hundred plus, prescription costs me $2-300, I get the funny looks when I get it filled, I get to use 2 or 3 of them and then my situation changes and the rest go bad after a few months. So after all that the cost of sex just went WAY up.
    It ain't easy...that's why this site interested me. I think it's the porn, I've pretty much given up on real sex and just masturbate occasionally to get my release. sometimes it's 3 times a day and sometimes it once every 3-4 days. Maybe it's the porn I watch, in my situation I seem to have to go find nastier and nastier stuff to even get interested anymore, just run of the mill porn doesn't even come close to interesting me anymore. I haven't had sex in 3 years, no good sex in the 10 before that, my poor girlfriend was super frustrated and we drifted apart...partially (mainly?) because she wasn't ready to say she was done having sex. Do I desire sex? Sure, but is it worth the frustration? Nope...not at this point. Maybe if I give up porn for a few months things will change...I've not tried that since I was 11. Maybe it's time.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. It's the porn. Stop it. All of it. No PMO. May take a longer reboot but try 90 days and see what happens.
     
    Deleted Account and GG2002 like this.
  17. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry to hear this. I do think it’s the porn and masturbation. Have you ever totally given up the porn? The reason I say it’s the porn is that you say that you have achieved an erection with “nasty women” and that you usually can when the sex is new. This is textbook porn induced ED. Real women can’t give you the dopamine high that porn does but often the excitement of a new partner will override that for a brief period of time.

    You have to stop all masturbation too. Don’t touch yourself at all. Please don’t virtually throw things at me for saying this but at your age if you are masturbating three or four times a day there is nothing left for a woman! Even once a day is leaving you drained. In my situation my ex was 47 and even if he masturbated once or twice a week he could not perform in bed. As you age the masturbation schedule you kept in your 20s and 30s can kill your sex life in your 40s and 50s. It’s just biology and it does not matter how in shape or how much you work out. So cut it out.

    What age are the women you are dating? Are they your age? Because yes younger women are going to want sex more.

    Don’t waste your money on ED drugs! You have a totally free way to fix your situation. Stop the pmo!
     
    Newlers, Tonytone and Deleted Account like this.
  18. Bogeygolfer

    Bogeygolfer New Fapstronaut

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    my last gf was 6 years older than me, the one before that was 6 years younger, most others before that are all my age. Still doesn't seem to matter, they all want sex more than I do. In fact, I think every relationship I've ever had ended due to ED and lack of sex. I've been on the 2-3 year plan my whole life, sex is decent at the start, fades soon after, completely disappears after a year, relationship ends after 2 years. I lasted a little longer with my last ex because we were soulmates and she was my best ski partner, we're still great friends, but even she didn't stick around and I don't blame her. Oh well, ya gotta learn to love yourself in this world--good luck with that.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Ready to be healthy

    Ready to be healthy Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I guess for me the desire for sex is there but it's the performance that becomes impossible this then psychologically effects my desire to have sex or initiate sex with my bf as I worry about ED.
     
    GG2002 and Deleted Account like this.
  20. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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