Prostitution - does a reboot help me?

You're not unusual in being addicted to women and ejaculation. However perhaps it would be worthwhile to get the perspective of a year off..

 

Hi guys, I've got to the pointwhere I wanna share this with someone.

Like most guys started fapping and porn around 12 - 13, then around 2008 I came across transsexual porn, I barely looked at porn with women since.

When I discovered it I was always worried it was gay, but I'm straight and I know I am, as I like women. Transsexuals are liked by quite a lot of straight men, from now on referred to as ts/tv, whichincludes transvestite.

For me this has been an issue as I'm overall very conservative and traditional minded, so for anyone reading this I don't mean any offense to trans people or lgbt, its just I'd really be happier with a female wife etc.

Anyway it took me about 2 years until I fully accepted I was aroused by ts,somehow more than women, I think its the self perceived 'taboo' of it which gave a more intense rush.

For many years although I would fap over ts porn, I had a conviction that I wasn't actually going to act on it, it was just a fantasy.

I'm also generally religious so would stay many months in a monastic situation where I wouldn't fap, look at porn or even think about it.

I lasted 2 years with NoFap or anything. Then I started feeling really over ts again, I then started to feel I had to do it for real. I started using hook up sites, its been going on since 2015. I ended up meeting a few tv/rd now, most of them I justreceived oral. I also deleted my account maybe close to 100 times now, promising to stop. But have often ended up making a new one.

I recently started feeling really ashamed, especially as one I met was just a guy in a wig pretty much (which as a straight guy isn't really what I want).

For this reason I started feeling desperate for a female, I planned to find a gf but just recently got really desperate and,saw a female escort. The intention was to help stop with the whole ts fantasy.

I promised myself that was it. However I woke up the next day still feeling really lusty, I started browsing escorts again not necessarily intending to visit.

Then by chance I saw a ts escort who looked just like the vids I used to watch, it all came back to me and I ended up meeting them. It was physically enjoyable and they look hot. But really felt like crap after.

To conclude I don't plan to do any of the above activities again, but am worried I'll get tempted again in future. What I really want is a wife and family etc.

I thought it would help get over this by sharing and am curious if anyone has had a similar experience. I rarely look at porn or fap anymore, but keep getting tempted over hook up sites and now escorts. My sexual contact has been minimal but I also feel really paranoid about std, even though I always used condom for penetration, which I did 3times

 

It's worth taking time off all stimuli (even thoughts) to see where you get. Temptation will always return now and then. Also, some people just find trans attractive..

 

sometimes I don't think about them for ages, I think I've accepted that I do find them attractive. I believe I can get to a point where I don't act on it, as I'd rather be with a woman really. Some things trigger me really easily though that's the problem, like if I even come across something by accident remotely related to trans I start getting tempted again. I recently went 3 months with NoFap or anything. But recently screwed up again. Another thing that triggers it is I occasionally look on dating sites for women and by chance see ts on there

 

You're in the habit of resisting most of the time, so that's good.

 

Speaking of stimuli, I found deactivating facebook has helped. Although I look at girls a lot on Instagram, I've considered deactivating that too. Basically I should meet a lady in real life is what the idea is. I feel like carp that I ended up at the point mentioned in 1st post.

 

Just from reading what you wrote it appears that each time you relapse it gets deeper and deeper - progression. Why not get rid of all the temptation such as your computer etc that way you wont be tempted to go onto those sites. A year or two away from the temptation you should be alot wiser

 

good observation, I this definitely like you said when I first saw the ts porn, although I knew I was aroused there was no way I was gonna do anything, it took about 7 years until I decided I had to do it for real. But yeh it was like a slow progression, most of the ones I spoke to online were crossdressers, allthough I don't like men in the slightest, it was close enough to the ts fantasy.

I'm just glad that I at least resisted as much as I could, if I was any worse I could have met about probably 50 odd cd/ts by now. No would often bail out last minute, but then would wanna do it again later, but luckily only met a handful.

Like I may have mentioned I don't mean.to offend transgender people, but even though its been going on, on and off for about 10 years I still feel like its not really for me. It's just something influenced by looking at before. In one sense I think i realised I can't help find.them attractive,.but I known i can get back to a point of not acting on it.

So like you said it has gone deeper and deeper, fapping as a fantasy was enough at first, then it progressed to hook up sites. Because.I was feeling ashamed of using sites.like that, I started to think ok I need a gf now. Then I recently got so desperate I went to a female escort late at night recently. I never thought I would do something like that previously. But I'm sure a lot of you could relate, that its.like there's two sides to your mind. The sober rational side stops you acting out even the you may feel tempted. But Then sometimes the horny sick side of the mind takes over and you can't stop yourself. The day after the horny side of my.mind accidentally saw a transsexual escort, a hot Brazilian one like I always used to fap over, I then felt like I just had to do it. I went to see them for an hour,.I finished early.and felt pretty tired, I had a bit of a talk with them after. To be honest I felt bad for them after as they said it was their only job and they work from 11am - 3am more or less everyday.and have a boss, I assumed they were independent. It may sound worse than it is though because they seemed okay and they were living with their friends at the house.

After that I've told myself that was gonna stop now, but no have to admit I sometimes feel tempted to see the ts escort again, but resisted and the strong feeling seems to be waning. I even felt like I might just seen one more female escort after this. Because I basically went to a female escort in.a desperate attempt to stop the whole transsexual obsession. The root.of this.problem unfeeling is the obsession with ts, what I mean is I think that probably most straight guys could find some ts attractive but not think.much of it. But for me it somehow turned into an obession over the 'taboo' of it. It's like the guilty feeling about it gives a really strong sexual rush, which is why I seem to keep going back. I have thoughts like would other straight guys feel so turned on by it, which for some reason makes me wanna act out.

Before all this I went 3 months with now fap etc, I started talking to a Thai ladyboy on Facebook who just happened be friends with some of my mutual friends. I thought oh ill just be friends,.bit it ended up being a major trigger. I then deactivated Facebook and was ok.for a couple weeks, but then it came back and ended up seeing escorts recently.

I'm trying to stay calm and the plan now is to get back on the NoFap, then.after 3 months I'm gonna.do an std test just to clear my head,.which at.times is extremely paranoid. Deactivating Facebook has helped a lot, even though I acted out post deactivation. Because I found myself always looking at hot girls there, which led to looking at ts on there too.

I'm well meaning in my plan and really hope I don't get weak. Likening said in the passed I went two years, when you go so long without fapping etc, in one sense you get way stronger mentally but if you aren't careful, can go to the other end of the spectrum in an instant. I was really into celibacy and still am, because of my religion. But I think the solution to this is to find a proper gf/potential wife, but I have a really guilty conscience now especially about the escorts. I generally like being honest with people, but I feel like I may just have to lie and pretend I'm a virgin or just say I hooked up with a couple girls online, if the subject gets brought.up with a potential gf.

 

Good work man. You're trying. And winning.

 

I'm two weeks and a day off escorts, taking it one day at a time, nearly fell off the wagon earlier in the week like my mind was on auto pilot calling them. I literally just said to myself put the phone in your pocket and walk away, bought a coffee sat on a bench let the urges pass, said I wouldn't get up for the bench until I thought rationally. It worked, hopefully will again.

 

good job, although I've not gone to any since I mentioned, I can see how its highly tempting. You can just visit any type of woman you want. Like you said it sometimes works to let the urge pass and when you're sober, you wonder what the hell you were thinking.

 

Yeah that's it's, I'm off all alcohol etc... happy enough to take the car, gave up drinking before for 3 years, don't do it that much anyway and to be honest once you've gone out sober a few times you realise your not missing anything except a hangover and the shit feeling of your actions! I'm determined this time!

 

3 weeks today, nearly relapsed a few times but have kept it together, still do feel like shit though

 

Well done man.

 

I wouldn't say most prostitutes are victims of trafficking. Maybe a lot are in Asian countries. But most here in US and Canada and European countries made their own choice to become a prostitute.

 

Absolutely. The conflation of prostitution with human trafficking is done by legislators and police - it makes great headlines for the police to say they are fighting trafficking, when in fact they are just busting consenting adults - and it's mostly bullshit.

 

Nonetheless, I have to leave the hookers alone for quite a while - I'm 63, I overdid it, and my junk stopped working reliably.

 

Why would police do that? Give me a reliable statistic or two and I will change my view. Before I cleaned up my act, I would sometimes view escort sites and there were a surprising amount of 'consenting' Romanians post Romanian EU entry.. I think there is a dark side to humanity, and a gap in the market will always be filled.

 

In the US , You'll read the police reports and every single person is of age. The only relationship to trafficking will be in the name of the operation, or that it's part of some wider effort "against trafficking".

Just because you see a bunch od Romanians doesn't mean they're trafficked. The market does function, usually with no coercion at all. The situation with the Romanians is just a replay of the situation with the East Germans after German reunification . The girls go where the money is. The men go where the girls are.


Every year, whatever city the Superbowl is in will be said to become a "center for 10s of thousands" of trafficked hookers. Virtually none are ever found. The police announcements of their actions are political drivel.

 

https://fee.org/articles/why-governments-always-exaggerate-the-prostitution-threat/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...tistics/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.3ea6575bd0ce

https://world.wng.org/2015/06/is_the_problem_of_human_trafficking_exaggerated

Much of the human trafficking that does exist involved non-sexual labor.