Prostitutes

We've all made mistakes in the past, hey I've visited prostitutes... but it is unhealthy, it objectifies women... I think about how they got into that situation in the first place and it makes me ill thinking I took advantage of them.

Some guys are different. In any case this is not engaging in healthy relationships and you have to get yourself checked out STDs regardless of how safe you are.

Stay strong

 

Hmmm... Why can't your gf fulfill your fantasies? I know that there is a certain sensation to messing around with new women (or prostitutes) but if she's the one, you should feel confident doing everything you dream of with her, don't you think?

Also... I don't want to judge, but do you really think it matters if YOU don't consider it cheating, as long as you know SHE considers it cheating? I mean, you know it would break her heart if she knew but you do it anyways - to me that sounds like the definition of cheating.

 

Forget what I think. If you say, "Well, women might think this, but I think differently," and your girlfriend is one of those women, then you just essentially cheated on your girlfriend and decided to excuse it. That, or you don't care about what she thinks.

If you're hoping to come on here and find someone to pat you on the back and tell you that what you did was perfectly fine and acceptable, then I'm definitely not going to be that person. You can convince yourself that prostitution is limited to, as you put it, walking in, paying, having sex, and getting out, but to me, this just shows that you have no real idea what you're doing or what the reality of the environment you're involved in is.

Also, I feel really sorry for your girlfriend. The poor girl has no idea, does she?

And you only feel slightly guilty? Dude, there's something broken there...

 

Isn't the problem preferring fantasy over reality?

 

Most women regard men who use prostitutes as the lowest of the low, it's worse than just cheating with your work colleague, because it demonstrates a premeditated exploitation of a girl in a bad situation for pure gratification.

Men visit them for many different reasons, mine was loneliness and desperation, could I have got sex with an ugly girl, probably, but I opted for a hooker.

Either way it is bad, and no doubt, the by product of porn.

When I had my enlightenment, I put myself in her situation, and realised I did something seriously fucked up. No matter how socially clueless I am I would keep this life than experience one hour as a hooker and what she would have to live with.

 

Well done bro, the weird thing about holland is the prostitution industry is so nonchalant.

You go in like you're buying some weed and there is literally lines and lines of guys walking in and out of rooms in broad daylight. Truth is there is some serious fucking messed up shit going on here. You're paying a stranger to suck your cock. Imagine if the roles were reversed. That should be enough to give you a wake up call, like it did me.

Not to mention the aftermath, 40 euros for a suck and fuck, more like 40 euros for your soul... untold damage and guilt, it may not be with you now but I can assure you it will come.

 

Well first of all, unlike many others on here, you do have a girlfriend. If it feels like having sex with her won't satisfy that urge, maybe you should talk to her and change something about your sex life? Try something new, keep things interesting, who knows, maybe she even thinks the same way?

As for what I do when I feel that urge: I start looking forward to the next time I will be having sex. That might be in a few days, maybe in a few weeks, it doesn't really matter, I just know that at some point it will happen and that's cool. For the past 5 months I've been shoveing all the oversexed thoughts out of my head and started focusing on my real goals and now there's just no link in my brain anymore between "I feel horny" and "get instant satisfaction asap!".

 

I remember everything I've learned. I remember the value of women, and how society degrades them and men take advantage of them. I remember the things I've learned about purity. I remember my desire to please God. I remember the women involved in forced pornography and sex trafficking. And above all, I remember my girlfriend, soon to be wife, who I desire to rebuild my purity for and who I want, more than anything, to be worthy enough to be called her husband.

I have a lot of reasons. I'm not a slave to my sex drive. I put lust to death, I crush the though before it has a chance to dig in. I spend lots of time talking and sharing with my girlfriend, who is my support, my best friend, and my companion in this fight. And when all else fails... I merely resist. Because I must, because there is no better way.

I never regret it.

 

Hello NoFapAcc,

First of all, I don't judge.
Judging - and the fear or being judged ("shame") - is one of the root causes of addiction.


Now: CHEATING is anything which you are hiding from your partner.


This is not reduced to sex. It can actually be everything. Some people will hide financial problems, or a serious illness, or smoking cigarettes, eating sweets, etc.

So, if your girlfried does not know that you are going to prostitutes, then you are cheating. Simple.

And if you see it another way, then you are cheating yourself. Simple, too!


Ideally, your partner should be the person you fully trust and you can talk everything of.
This is the fundament of a really solid partnership.

But often, we are feeling ashamed for our own emotions and for our actions, and we will fear being judged. And in this moment, the hiding begins, and this is the root of addiction. The addiction is a way to cope with these fears.

So, if you have fears of talking to your girlfriend about your feelings, then the best would be to talk with her about it. Actually, what can happen? In any case, she will be thankful that you talked to her. (Even if she doesn't say this, but she will be thankful) In the better case, she she will try to understand you better. And this will strengthen your relationship. In the worst case, she will be upset and will leave you.

But in both cases, you will have a clear situation, and this will free of lot of energy.

If you having nothing to hide, and if you do not need to lie, this makes you extremely free, and gives you enormous energy.

 

The urges mostly go away if you give it enough time. Believe it or not, one of the main cause of the urges is actually orgasm. I could explain all the reasons for that, but it's not so important, since you can test this by abstaining from orgasm for a while. You will notice a significant drop in urges after about 2-3 weeks, and it continues to drop for about 3 months (for most people). After that, sex with your gf will be amazing. Perhaps it seems crazy to you now to do that, but trust me - it works.

Of course, the big problem with this approach is that it requires maturity and self-discipline. If you can find enough of those to carry it through, you will come out the other side stronger, more in control, and able to better yourself; I promise.

 

Totally true - exactly my experience.
That's why I chose "hard mode" only (I prefer "Freedom mode"), and in my partnership, I am going with "Karezza" - which is a way to have sex with your partner without orgasm.

 

One Simple Question NoFapacc,How would you feel if you get to know that your girlfriend was having sex with other boys and cheating on You? Ask Yourself,Go Inside Yourself and Shout,Shout to Your Heart and Say,Are you Doing the Right thing for The Future?

 

If you want to be scrupulous about your relationship with your GF , you should not do it again.Prostitution is not different from the bad addiction all we want to abstain.We belive you will do it allright.

Best of luck

 

Prostitutes (and pornstars) are almost always deeply disturbed, mostly with personality disorders. They might appear happy but it is only an illusion, in reality they are suffering a lot. It's good that you have decided not to exploit them anymore, NoFapacc.

 

Why do you say that most prostitutes and porn stars have personality disorders? Which ones and on what do you base this upon?

 

I've read it in various (reliable) articles - just googling one of those (Jessica Spector, Prostitution and Pornography, Stanford 2006) HERE.

 

Thanks but, unfortunately, Your reference was 'unavailable to view'

Have you got a reference for personality disorder (and which disorders) in porn stars?