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Problem with a sexy aunt

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by LionHart, Jul 30, 2018.

  1. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    This is quite embarassing, but I've to talk with somebody about it. I've an aunt who is quite hot, and since my early adolescence I've been fantasizing about her, and, sad to say, eventually I've also masturbated. I've come to a point where I really think that I wanto to have sex with her, but I can't understand if this feeling is caused by the excessive use of porn (incest porn too) or if I *really* want to have sex with her. I mean, she's a hot woman, she's attractive and this probably triggers my sexual instinct...but she's also mu aunt, so I know that I shouldn't fantasize about her, and I know that watching porn created this problem. So my question is : in your opinion, it is all caused by overwatching porn, and I wouldn't be aroused by her if i hadn't been watching it for all this time, or porn just undercovered a sexual attraction that has always been there, and just made it clearer and stronger ?
    Another question, related to the first one...do you think that if I stop watching porn, and I'll have real sex with real girls, I won't be attracted by her anymore?That I won't fantasize?
     
  2. Space Panda

    Space Panda Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you've wired your brain to be okay with incest. If your watching incest porn and masterbating to your aunt you're telling yourself that it's okay. I dont know if your attraction for her will go away but maybe with nofap and going for something more healthy you will be less attracted to her and more to other women. It's okay to see your aunt as a beautiful attractive women especially if she is attractive. But wanting to have sex with her isnt okay.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    Gotham Outlaw, Hitto and LionHart like this.
  3. You will met a lot of attractive women in your life, which you will not have sex with. Therefore it is not reasonable to obsess over them. I don't know how your brain works but I am pretty sure that using porn leads to objectification and oversexualizing women. It is okay to see somebody is attractive but jerking off while thinking about them is not right. Healthy man maybe will look or even think about that for a little moment, but certainly he will be able to stop it and just go to another activities easily. You NEED to stop watching porn and developing fantasies about aunt.
     
  4. I did the same thing when i was younger and my aunt wasnt even that hot. I grew out of it though.
     
    JoePineapples and LionHart like this.
  5. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

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    I think she's probably just an attractive woman, and it's normal for you to have the hots for an attractive woman and to masturbate thinking about her. Because she happens to be your aunt, you won't do anything beyond that, so you definitely don't "really want to have sex with her".

    Give up porn and incest porn, and you'll feel better in every way. You may still fancy her but you'll be too busy being interested in other real women for attraction to her to be a problem.
     
  6. The same thing has happened to me over the years with females in the family.... It's the porn it messes up your brain. And i also think its caused by social anxiety. Think about it, when you are struggling to meet girls, you are more likely to be drawn towards the people who are friendly and close to you. Family. It's very easy to overcome, all you have to do is get out there and socialise with other girls. The main reason you are most likely feeling like this is because she gives you a lot of attention. The attention that you crave from other girls that you do not get. So obviously you are going to have strong feelings towards her.

    Work on your anxiety, no more porn and go out there and interact with lots of girls. Then you will be thinking about them and not your aunt eventually.
     
  7. The law varies from country to country and even within some countries like the US. o_O

    Is she actually the sister of your mother or father or did she marry into your family? :confused:
     
  8. LionHart

    LionHart Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all guys, your opinions helps me to understand wtf is happening inside my head.
    I KNOW that I don't want to have sex with her, I know that I don't want ho share any intimacy with her, don't wanna kiss her, I'm sure about that. But I think that I've objectified her too much, always looking at her breast , which made me fantasize a lot. This may be a clear sign that my attraction for her is artificial and porn-induced.
    So how did you guys get over it? You stopped thinking about them and with time It got better? when you see them, they don't arouse you as they used to be?
    She's actually my father's sister, but that doesn't seem to be a problem for my hooked brain. It's been almost 8 years , during that long period of time I began to think that my feelings where comoletely normal, and now I was almost sure that I wanted to have sex with her, but you helped me to understand that this is not true.
     
  9. For me, it just went away, but like i said she wasnt even that hot, so when i got older i wasnt attracted to her any more.
     
  10. It also went away for me too. When i worked on my anxiety and all of the self doubt that i had built up over the years. I realised that there were a LOT of girls attracted to me and that i was blocking it out because of the anxiety. This shift in mindset allowed me to meet lots of girls and go on dates. So I had no reason to feel anything sexual for family members anymore. Why would i when there are so many girls out there that you can meet? No need to obsess over an attractive aunt for example. If you want to date someone older than you, just go out there and meet someone. I have been on dates with woman much older than me before. I suppose that was one of my porn fetishes, mature woman. But i'm open to anything young, old, same age as long as we have a good connection and stuff in common.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2018
    Gotham Outlaw, Hitto and LionHart like this.
  11. I think getting away from porn and all the bad things it can do to your mind will definitely help. Part of the problem is seeing them as an object. Getting your mind reset and trying to focus on them as a person will help a lot, with everything.
     
  12. Nantz

    Nantz Fapstronaut

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    First of all i hope you have received good advice. I also (and i know this may sound dumb) want to remind you to try and not use triggering thread titles. I know i may be over reacting but i honestly had to shut down some risky thoughts after just seeing your title. the title almost makes it sound like all the porn addicts on this site are about to get a "fun Story". Again im sorry if im over reacting but im just trying to keep a safe place safe.

    And dont get me wrong im really glad nofap is a place you can come and talk about these things so please continue to do so.
    Thanks, best wishes
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
  13. TryingAgain

    TryingAgain Fapstronaut

    What does porn do to sexual desire? Porn distorts sexual desire. It gets something healthy, normal, desirable, and twists it into some crazy fantasy – the dirtiest the better.
    But how can we say something is healthy or dirt? Culture. We live in a certain society and we are inserted in a certain culture where we get values, principles, meanings, and so on.
    Incest is a taboo because our culture considers so.
    Psychology and Anthropology can help us understand the mental paths we have built to make us feel bad about this kind of thing; also, it helps us understand what porn is telling us: it is not a taboo, it's a fetish; it's not disgusting, its “fapable”. The dirtiest the better.

    There is a point you can hold on to: this attraction is not healthy for you, it makes you feel bad about yourself.

    I really don't know if you stop watching porn, and having real sex with real girls you won't be attracted by your aunt anymore. Maybe you will. But stopping to watch porn (especially incest-related) sure will keep you from fuel the fire.

    I think you can go further than the “hotness” of your aunt to rationalize about it. There is a lot more involved, as some people said before – like the caring and so on.
    Maybe you are attracted to older women, matures, I don't know. Only you can answer that to yourself.
     
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  14. Jinkazama

    Jinkazama Banned

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    Dear friend from my neighbouring Country.

    Maybe it is just that you want to be in contact with her socially more? Like talk, and be Friends, and taken care of?
    Is your sexuality just a way to let that wish be articulated because you cannot feel and Show your real wish to be in contact and just socialize with your aunt?
     
  15. H
    how old is she? Is she married? Is she provoking you? Noticing that you find her hot? I have a number of ideas. It’s in my approach always to take the secret out which takes the uncontrolled tension out
     
  16. Hugoalsace

    Hugoalsace Fapstronaut

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    I think you would probably have had the same initial feelings about your aunt without porn but that your addiction has made it worse, probably much worse
     
  17. Faramir

    Faramir Fapstronaut

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    I used to have similar feelings regarding my sister. When I stopped watching porn, these feelings TOTALLY went away, and I felt ashamed that I used to be attracted to her. These feelings come back if I relapse and start to binge on porn, because I need to start watching weirder and weirder material to experience arousal. I would say that your desire to have sex with your aunt is not an innate desire, it is caused by too much porn use.
     
  18. Faramir

    Faramir Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure. I never made any advances on her, but it's possible that she may have caught me checking her out.
     
  19. This made me smile. :) I love your honesty, Lionhart. I've had sexual attraction to family members too, and it predated my porn use, so I would guess that these feelings are pretty natural. I've talked to friends about this stuff as well, and they've agreed that sometimes your aunt or cousin or whoever is just hot, and that's all there is to it. I would guess that the strong social taboo against incest is precisely because we're liable to be sexually attracted to those genetically close to us. If we somehow couldn't be attracted to our cousins, we wouldn't need the taboo. So I would go with the second option: porn's only amplified a preexisting sexual desire.

    And as far as the second question, I'm gonna go with no, not watching porn's not gonna erase your sexual desire for your aunt, but I'd guess that it'll probably lessen your objectification of her, and, like someone else said, it'll help you in meeting other women and you'll think less and less about your aunt.
     
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