Porn/Sex addiction and Stigma.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Semaphore, May 9, 2018.

  1. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

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    I've been a porn addict and escort user for 30 plus years. Im a NoFap member and working on ditching the habit. It's tough. We know that. But our addiction, unlike gambling or alcohol is one that is tightly linked to social stigma. "...you what?? you see escorts and jerk off to porn??? Ewww...".
    Take a look at the way alcoholics are viewed and you're more likely to hear "...hey that guy has a massive drink problem...but he's kinda cool..."
    Obviously, im just making a point here. But when did you hear about a porn or sex addict talking freely about their condition on national TV? I have listened to a few inspiring accounts of recovery on TED and there are a few links in the forum threads from former PMO addicts but not nearly enough.
    Much though I praise the freedom and openness of this forum, we remain after all a closed community of addicts talking to each other about how much we want to change our lives. How do we deal with the fear of "coming out" as a sex addict when the liklihood is we will be stigmatised for what we have become?
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2018
  2. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    I understand what you mean, but a recovering alcoholic doesn't start up a conversation with "Hi, I'm an alcoholic".
    Someone with chronic depression doesn't choose their condition as a title, although both suffer from the same loss and loneliness as porn addicts, - sometimes all of those things simultaneously.
    We're all trying to deal with our weaknesses and addictions, so that they don't define who we are anymore, - and so that we can be who we are.
    We medicate ourselves with porn and denial.
    Our addictions will hopefully be consigned to the past - along with whatever underlying issues we're hiding from.
    We can always choose another road, and just enjoy being porn addicts, but I don't think that's what we're here for.
     
  3. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

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    I take your point @Gmork - i guess the point i was making (perhaps not that clearly) was that as an alcoholic, I came out - I stilldrink but not obsessively or privately. Telling folks I recognised my drinking was out of hand was actually pretty straightforward and support was immediately available from close at hand - among friends. If I told the same people some truths about my other activities I'm pretty certain they'd take a dim view. Stigma plays a stonger role in our addiction than in many others making it harder to treat.
    I found this little statement from one very good consultant on the subject:
    http://paulahall.co.uk/the-stigma-of-sex-addiction/
     
  4. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    I read that, thanks for the link @Semaphore
    I think sex addiction, and especially porn addiction is easy to satirise and stigmatise.
    Alcoholism has been accepted in society for hundreds of years.
    I guess that in time, porn and sex addiction will also become more accepted.
    The internet is still in its infancy, with high speed internet only 12 years old.
    We are the first wave generation of internet porn addicts.
    Who knows what’s next?
     
  5. I get slightly annoyed when people talk about porn addiction as if it's brand new.

    Yes it's incredibly common now, which is new, but video porn has been around for a long time, on TV, DVDs, VHS tapes and so on, so a minority of people got addicted way before I was born in the 80s.

    Perhaps if there was less stigma the addiction would be less common.
     

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