Porn Replacement

Third day for me and I am dying. I go on facebook, I see pictures of hot girls. Same with any other social media..

 

This is totally normal. When you condition your brain to crave that dopamine hit, and then you suddenly cut it off, it starts looking for other ways to get it. And it doesn't even need to be sexually related. I've sat in 12-step meetings where guys talk about how when they were in sexual recovery, suddenly their drinking spiked, or they started craving sugar all the time, or they started smoking again, etc. Your brain will desperately fight to get a 'hit' of what it's accustomed to.

It's up to each individual to decide what constitutes a relapse where you need to reset your counter. If you're re-setting it every time you look at a picture of a hot woman in a bikini, you might have a hard time putting together many days at all--the sad fact is that our culture is flooded with sexuality. It's used to sell literally everything. Even if you cut yourself off from all social media, you still need to deal with billboards, magazine ads, etc. I think the difference is whether or not it's compulsive. If you're browsing Instagram in the same compulsive way that you browse porn, then yes, for all practical purposes it 'becomes' porn for you, and you should block it somehow, at least temporarily.

We're in this together, we can beat this.

 

That's totally fair, and I agree with you. I'm not hard on myself for checking out a hot woman in the grocery store. But if I'm compulsively browsing pictures of hot women on instagram, salivating and without blinking, I know I'm off the rails.

 

F***ing amen to that.

 

The problem I run into is everything becomes a replacement to me. Movie characters, even women in television commercials! Characters in books. I have a way too overactive imagination! =(

 

That's edging. And yes, you do need to place your fences a little further away from harms way for a while in order to help yourself better. I just subconsciously decided to not watch movies during my reboot, and it helps. I just read a lot on recovery, on the brain, and stories of recovery, and look for any activity my brain doesn't see as routine (meditation, prayer, workout, writing). It does wonders to place obstacles in the way of routine.

 

I do this, brain trying to tell me that life is pointless without porn at the moment. Not currently getting any sex so struggling to find any joy in life, need some serious motivation.

 

Remember, that's just what your brain is telling you. That's not the truth. Your dopamine-addicted brain is going to work hard to manipulate you into satisfying it. Don't.

Or, play those tapes in your head of all the other times you've used porn. Here, your addicted brain is telling you that porn is what makes life fun and exciting. But did life ever feel meaningful afterward? Or did you just feel despair and hopelessness? Look at the reality of your experiences and refuse to listen to the desperate pleas of the addicted brain.

Think about a strung-out heroin addict who goes through all sorts of lengths to trick family members into giving them money. That's how your brain is going to feel. It's up to you to create some strategies to deny it the dopamine it wants.

 

Exactly. Just fight to keep awake, you know that what your brain is implying is simply not true, and that you'll feel extremely down if you give in to its demands. It becomes easier with time, and you start arguing less with yourself. Your brain will ultimately find great joy in other things that stimulate it healthily.

 

it's difficult without a girlfriend to be honest, hanging in there though and I have a date at end of July so I'll be over a month clean, maybe it will make me more attractive to her and give me better luck lol

 

I can't count how many times my relapses have begun with lingerie on amazon or photo sharing websites or college volleyball games on watchespn. I've managed to cut it all out this time - the only thing I'm unwilling to give up is fail videos, which are really the only TV I watch anymore besides sports. Why do so many girls have to fail in bikinis?

 

Love that Genesis 3:15 avatar Icarium..