Porn made me into a rapist (sort of)

You have a really bad mind set, my boy. You're behavior is your own and nothing to do with the porn you watched. There are many factors that make up you as a person and I doubt porn has affected you that much. For arguments sake, let's pretend there is a god, he has not chosen you to be anything. Your life is your own choice and blaming it on others or the lord is not helpful. You need to accept that you are in charge of your own destiny but you can change.

If you and this girl had no chemistry, then forcing sex out of that relationship is pointless for both of you. Just put this encounter behind you, look to the future and finding someone who is right for you.

 

Just realised that you are the same guy I replied to in many other posts, so I’m going to re-respond to you in very basic words. You have a shit mindset. You need to sort your head out. You need help from a professional.

 

Bu the way of you claim to be a religious type like you do, calling a girl a mongoliod is not fucking cool.

 

It may be an accurate, inoffensive description. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongoloid

 

Pffffff c’mon man

 

Hey dude, you had a normal all be it immature interaction with a girl. We have all been there. My first time making out with a girl i litterally mounted her on a chair and it was suuuuper akward.

I am curious how you presume to put words in Gods mouth. I dont remember reading "@PrayingForAscension is forever destined to be celebate" anywhere in the bible. But i might have missed it somewhere.

I see you going from super shame to super blame which is what is called polarized thinking. Read up on it. You can do this bro. Keep steping in the arena and you will find balance.

 

At the end of the day, you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you are truly religious, you should know referring to her as ugly or talking about settling for her like she doesn't matter is a sin, you treated her as less than human. Forcing the situation as you did was taking advantage of her, another sin there because it harms her and harms you. Porn is a drug you're right on that, but laying blame on everything else except yourself is not going to do anything but continue to justify actions like this. Seeing a professional and speaking to a pastor at the church you attend is an important step. If neither one of those is available, the first step is you have to want to understand and change, then it's accepting responsibility for yourself and your actions. I really hope and pray you come to see this experience for what it is and truly seek change.

 

Bro, 1 you are not a rapist but it that beach scenerio could have gone bad. While it is true that porn has us over obssesing over sex based on your story it's good that your realizing that porn is no beuno. It took me until I was 24 years old to loose my virginity. I lost it to a woman who had as much self respect for her body as I did for mine (none).

I might also suggest no to turn this into an all out good/evil thing. How I was tought to see this is in terms of brains patterns.

For example, whenever I was feeling depressed, lonely, sad, angry, over-hyper, stressed or bored I would turn to porn to direct my mind towards pleasure. So, I must realize that whenever I have unpleasent feelings I must engage in positive thinking, meditation/prayer, or engage in something to get me out of my thought patterns.

We have conditioned our brains to watch porn to help us with life's struggles. Our brain is just trying to help us feel better the way we have programmed it which is to watch porn. Now we must "reboot" and find new ways of being.

 

Praying for ascension, I’m just going to be super kind to you now. I think you’re a really nice guy and I hope you find happiness in whatever you do. I hope god helps you to ascend and gives you a little tap on the bottom and a crisp high 5!