Porn Accumulation Problem

It gets easier the more you try to quit, research and realize the benefits and harmful effects. Distract yourself, avoid all kinds of triggers (even literotica) go out more and try to limit your internet use. Don't be discouraged by relapses but keep the ball from rolling. Convert your urges into other forms of energy, just do push ups when you get them. Don't sit all day doing nothing :/ .

 

Yes, I've done all that too! This time I have kept my stash. I went to delete it last Saturday and almost relapsed when faced with previews of the files! I stayed strong and decided to leave it. My stash is on an external drive and I'm going to wrap it in brown parcel tape so I can't be tempted.

 

I understand the urge to go back but I don't think making it easier is necessarily the best way to go about this. I need you to remember the last time you slipped up - the last time you acted like an addict - the last time you had absolutely no control over yourself and indulged. I want to remember the guilt and negative feelings associated with that addict inside of you. Remember it! When you feel a craving to do anything remotely close to porn - EVEN looking at a curvy line or imagining porn in your mind, you need to immediately remember these negative emotions. Let the negative emotions drive you and be the reason you don't sink into the same cycle. It's not easy and it will hurt, but it will get easier.

 

I used to accumulate and delete my porn stuff again and again, but its much more difficult once I get a blocker. Plus when you're on the internet, make sure you visit http://yourbrainonporn.com/

That website has a lot of info. Delete your porn stuff and study the info on that website whenever you can.

 

I strongly recommend you tell your wife as soon as possible. It is very helpful and freeing to let your significant other in on what's happening. Also, it can be a bit disappointing for your wife to know you've been fighting an addiction without any of her knowledge. What helped me when telling my girlfriend is telling her that a huge percentage, I believe I said 90%, of people who masturbate to porn are probably addicted and GENUINELY don't realize it. It's different from smoking, because most regular smokers can admit they're addicted, while porn users just simply enjoy porn and don't even realize that it can be addictive. Start with that, blaming it on an addiction you didn't realize existed, and work from there.

Good luck!

 

I went through this cycle (of deleting and re-accumulating) a lot of times over the past year. What helped me were a few things, one was reading the successful accounts on YBOP (someone posted the link above).

Next, at some point I knew that I had to delete everything, but emotionally sometimes I did not feel ready to do it (of course it is the addiction speaking and not you). After one of my relapses I kept the content on my computer until I felt ready to delete it, and this time came several days later when I no longer had a wanting for the material and got rid of everything. I also removed any history in the browsers to make it harder to get anything back. I did realize that it would not be possible for me to be PMO-free if I had any material on my computer because several times in the past, after varying periods of abstinence, I would look at something I had downloaded, even if only for a few seconds, and it would always start the negative spiral. But I think it's important not to download it until you feel mentally prepared to do it so you don't have second thoughts afterward. I don't have any material on my computer for probably the longest time right now and I feel very good about it.

 

It's perfectly natural to have an attachment to porn, because it makes us fuckin happy! Just understand that once you remove it from your life (whether deleting files or throwing porn out your window) you won't regret it.

As for relapsing while she knows about the addiction, I believe you just found an excellent motivator. It sounds like you'd be ashamed and embarrassed if you had to tell her you relapsed. Avoiding embarrassment can be an excellent motivator. You might even tell yourself that you're about to relapse, but when thinking of telling your wife you might find the self control and willpower to stop.

A side note, here's a great link to read when you feel like relapsing. I just found it today.http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/the-ten-questions-of-relapse-prevention

Good luck!

 

Get rid of it. Then run a cleaner on your computer, I relapsed several times searching for old porn on my back up drives (it hides in all sorts of cache folders). Each time I told myself I was cleaning it to stay free; nope, my brain was searching for porn then after I found it, searched for more online. Get rid of it and don't look back.

Press on regardless,

SkyNet

 

Man, don't take me wrong, but keeping the porn files seems just the wrong thing to do. I mean, we know that this forum is called "nofap", but when we come to a greater understanding, we can see that what matter is "not thinking about porn". Fapping is not what gives us dopamine, watching porn gives it. Hypersexualised thoughts is our problem, and in normal circunstances, only porn can cause this.
So, if you want to "rewire" your brain and keep your sexual life normal and healthy, why would you keep porn in your hard drive? Even if you have a strong will and would not masturbate at all, if you watch porn again your "rewiring process" would be ruined.
I have made the same thing as you (collecting and deleting over and over - actually, I made it today), and I am pretty sure that deleting your porn is the right thing to do.