Pmo Background

Namaste Everyone


Here is my background it's a 13+ year old addiction, heavy user

I was little 9yr old kid when i discover porn & masturbation one of my friend introduced to me. We started with dvds he had a bunch of stuff, watching in my next empty room & masturbate it. We felt so good doing this and start doing again & again. I was the kid that don't go outside, shy, innocent & can't play with friends. He save his life to get addicted that friend who intro me. He play sports, real games etc he enjoying living his life but i hooked on p&m it's become my daily habit, three times sometimes. My school grades decreased slowly even i failed in 7th class & 9th, i didn't realized it because pmo that time. I still remember my school mate told me that time "you look very dull, your skin become rough" didn't realized coz pmo, why i should realise? This give me pleasure, excitement etc. That time one girl love me very much she finds way to meet me, i love her too she is very beautiful but she start fading away. Years & Years went by.

Teenage

When i was 14yr old i got my first mobile it was Sony with internet connection for me its paradise, exploring the porn industry in depth tube sites, images, porn stars, videos downloading etc. Now i can't concentrate on studies i become zombie, im experience aggressive, confused, back pain, dark circle, pimples, anger on family members fighting with my siblings, sometimes i hurt them too much. Some of the things i did but can't share i'm shameful for that. Didn't realize what future holds, can't even think to stop once.

Skin aging + dark circles im looking like uncle in teenage. My friends, neighbors tease me uncle, uncle. This feels me very bad

Imagination Fapping

Lots of time ( even many years ) i use to imagine having sex with my neighbor's woman & rubbing my pants & cum. Sometimes i captured her photos, video in my phone privately not just with one woman many others woman's too. This feels me shameless now.


Digital Era

The internet becoming widely spreading, WiFi, android phones, brought computer in my home. I become more spreading torrents, more tube sites, more images, more videos, more stars etc. Now i fully stopped studies, staying at home, eating, sleeping, watching television, lazy, jobless, pmo, anger, frustrated. How much i drain my brain, energy can't take right decisions, can't think clear, social anxiety, fear & so on.

Again Years & Years went by


Realization / Discovered Nofap

All things in my life become upside down, suicide thoughts, struggling with life, it's distort my life in many ways, life become so hard. Hopeless life, meaningless life
My school mates, my friends even my younger siblings doing well in their lifes completed their education, earning moneys, enjoy their lifes as normal human beings. This things open my eyes, where i am? what im doing?

Lots of lots of questions in my mind, how to get rid of fatigue?, how to stop watching porn, how to stop masturbation forever? How to break bad habits & create good ones & so on
Watched tons of videos, articles. In searching of my answers i get to know about Nofap (thanks god it's a light in the darkness, open doors, hope, faith, im not alone)

Now it's been a 8 months of Nofap journey although not clean but reduce lot use of porn / masturbation as compared to my addiction period. Developing good habits & getting know science behind. Improving in some areas, learning from many of you guys. A great support, wonderful people.

Mentality

It's feels like im doing incredible work never done before in my whole life. It's like big project (Nofap), a homework, a game, a mission and so on and so forth. But sometimes i feel sad, cry lot why this happened to me, i waste my lots of time 13+ yr, never achieve anything, relationship with my parents/ siblings/ friends not so good.

I guess my post become long but anyways thanks for reading, love you guys.

Apologies for English

Special thanks to Nofap team, @Alexander & Wonderful people

Ybop @garrywilson , @marnia to their incredible works.

Greatness Is Coming For Us​

 

Thankx mate