PM became normal, next week it will be 2 years without sex with my partner

Me and my gf havent had sex in almost 2 years. We have always felt like meant to be with each other even though sex wasnt necesarily good... we love wach other very much, so much that we had a baby who is 14 months. Last time we had sex was when we conceived her in July 2016.
We always acceted the fact that sex was not the most important part of our love life, but as time passed by, i found refugee in masturbating over porn and my already heavy addiction, became even stronger.
Me and her are now willing to work on our sex life, we even going to therapy, but suddenly I realised that my porn addicton must be dealt with first. It is so weird to realise that I never saw it problematic. Until today... Good thing is that I feel ready to move on and work it out...

 

thanks, problem is I havent been told her about my addiction... I tried once, at the beggining of our relationship when sex was at least twice a week. But then she was shocked and I backed off. We are trying to work together our sex life, but she doesnt know I have been watching porn and masturbating (although she may imagine). Not sure how to start that conversation. This is why i am here, to work on my addiction and be able to be in abetter position. Besides, I do not want her to feel guilty (she sometimes blames herself for the lack of sex).

 

I feel you mate... Some moths ago, over some happy days, I felt that I could get closer, started flirting with her and when we were kissing, I grabbed her buttocks. She immediatly stopped and was upset. I couldnt understand at the moment why was she having such a big reaction, I tried to explain I felt the connection and that considerinf the kiss, I felt it was approapiate. She disagreed and told me that she didnt feel as close, but the kiss was a good start.
It has taken me some time to understand the obvious: some of us men tend to need less time to get physical. In the case of my gf, she really needs to feel connected and understood.
I am trying lately to explain to her that if we are to make this work, we both need to meet half way. I give her the space and ask a lot about how she feels, whether she wants me to wear or do something in particular so she could be turn on... It is difficult and sex still doesnt come, but im doing my best...

 

Thanks for the words, I do appreciate the wisdom in them. I must say though, I never stopped wanting my partner sexually. Our fights and communication issues drew us apart, and before we realised, sex wasn't there as the energy was spent worried, sad or angre (first yeat of our child was spent in-out hospitals). But at the end of the day, both our needs were neglected... and i turned to porn which I realised (12 days ago and counting had become very problematic in my life.