Please help me plan my Reboot!

Wow , I've only been here for a few weeks but have seen alot of new "Help Me Get Started" posts, that was the most organized, well written one I have seen. You are MOTIVATED, which is the most important first step. and you are correct, if you dont break the porn addiction , having a normal sex life is unlikely.

Also, your test after 12 days of no PMO with your girlfriend might have been too soon, plus I am sure you were so focused on and stressful / anxious about results , you goose was sort of cooked before you started.

Have you already kicked porn addiction, and asking about the next phase or are you still watching porn?

 

I like you, @Raise the Bar , you seem to be serious about this

I will make a suggestion. You can of course change the plan to your personal preferences. Let's first make a list of main objectives. Gotta know where we are heading. Then let's look at a plan based on my personal experience. Note: any plan can fail and there are always things going to happen which you can't be prepared for. So never follow the plan too closely.


Main objectives:

1. Quit PMO
2. Recover from porn induced fetishes
3. Recover from porn induced ED
4. Develop a positive attitude towards sexuality

Phases of rebooting:

1. Gathering information and mental preparation
2. Getting started: Quitting porn
3. Rewiring to real life action
4. Once an addict, always an addict: staying critical

Note: The phases of rebooting are probably overlapping, but maybe you need to seperate them (especially 2 and 3)

Let's describe what you should do in each phase.
1. Gathering information and mental preparation. Take some time to lurk and to take everything in. Use all resources to your advantage: nofap.com, r/nofap, youtube. It is crucial that you visit yourbrainonporn.com to get familiar with the science behind addiction and rebooting. Read all articles there. Then read them again.
Know what you're getting into. Be prepared to make a journy of continence that might take years until you get the desired results. Look at the main objectives. How bad do you want to reach them?

2. Time to get serious. Set up your day counter to see how long you can go. If seeing your counter makes you uncomfortable, hide it in a spoiler. Create your journal, write regularly and also get in touch with other rebooters. You can motivate and hold each other accountable. Don't miss the success story section for some extra motivation!
We all relapsed a lot when we started out. You will, too. Try to find out what triggers you (makes you relapse). Avoid all of it. If you need to delete your social media to not stray from your path... do so. Get rid of everything that might hold you back. If you have to, go into social isolation. That's radical you say? How bad do you want it again?
This is the longest and most important phase and can feel like a walk through the desert. Be prepared.
By the way, at some point you will likely want to try out all kinds of self improvement techniques. Don't overdo it. Change little things if there is a need to. Remember your main objectives; exhausting yourself will lead to disaster, but so does underachieving so don't get lazy.

3. You already have a gf so this phase might overlap with all other phases. However, this relationship might fall apart. You might have to be the one to end it if your sexual issues are too bad. Sorry to say.
Reconnect with people. You would be surprised how sexually healthy human interaction can be. Nofap, btw, allows you to connect with people on a totally new level. Look forward to these effects.
Once you feel better and have enough self control and the energy to try out intimacy then get a gf. Just to get it out of the way: no kinky shit with her, ever! If she tries to do something funny, end the relationship then and there.
Be patient and enjoy the process. This is a good time to ask yourself why you became addicted to PMO and to certain genres of porn. (Often it's a random genre, but sometimes there is more to it). Try to understand what was going on and work on these issues, alone, with your partner, or even with a therapist (be careful though, a lot of modern therapists support disgusting kinks).

4. Once PMO is no part of your life anymore, stay critical. Even though you probably have repaired the "damage", you could still slip again if you became overconfident. Give advice to other fapstronauts, because nothing helps you learn better than teaching.
Enjoy your success, act responsibly and keep practicing sexual hygiene: never tolerate anything that can harm your sexual health.
This is a lifelong phase

Good luck. Really hope it helped. Any questions?

 

basically everything @overclocked said, great post.

 

1. Watch videos listing the benefits of NoFap
2. Keep on reminding yourself of the benefits of NoFap
3. Don't engage in any of your sexual fantasies (both mentally and physically) as they can lead to relapses
4. Do things in life you and your health will benefit from like quit smoking and taking cold showers
5. Get into a good sleeping habit
6. Become God himself

Good luck