Please help me CD, sissy fetish *triggers*

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Element xx, May 20, 2019.

  1. Element xx

    Element xx New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, please help me. I have a sissy, genderbending, shemale, ladyboy, CD, trans, basically non straight fetish and I love watching porn. I watch porn every day and usually multiple times a day and masturbate too. I tried not masturbating but lasted a week at most. This has become a huge problem because now even when I watch straight porn with just man and a woman I imagine myself being the woman and wearing all those sexy clothes and submitting to a man sexually it even got to a point where I went out and tried it a few times thinking I was just closeted gay man but that didn’t go so well. I hated it and I felt disgusted and sick to my stomach afterwards. In my fantasies it's just so hot because the women in porn enjoy it but in reality, it's not, it's disgusting and I always feel sick. This has been happening for the majority of my life and I'm almost 30 now. I used to crossdress and do all the typical CD stuff but always after the orgasm felt shame and guilt and quickly removed and hid all the items associated with that.

    I just lost the 2nd gf in my life because I was watching porn, it started slowly and with straight stuff then it progressed to such an extreme that I even bought hormones in hopes I will get better more female orgasms. These all gender bending videos and images made me think I'm transgender and I'm supposed to transition otherwise why the fuck do I get so turned and think about being the woman. I used to watch sissy training videos and have a bottle of poppers nearby and a dildo up my ass so that my orgasms would be more female like.

    I am sorry if this is too graphic but I need help. I cannot continue living like this and was even thinking that if this doesn’t stop and I cannot get it under control I will commit suicide. I will not break another womans heart again because of this bullshit. I feel like I'm a disgusting piece of shit for doing that to her and for getting so addicted to porn. I am totally new to this whole NoFap thing and I could use some help, thank you.



    Also I don’t know if this fits in the right forum and again sorry for maybe too much info.
     
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  2. songohu33

    songohu33 Fapstronaut

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    I can tell you my friend that we got into the same shit. Today is my 7th day off PMO and I'm starting to loose control. You know it's like a trance that you yourself can not control. You need to have someone close that will know about your
    problem.
     
  3. HecTormoku

    HecTormoku Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry to know that, bro. I was also into those fetishes too, and let me tell you some good news: There's a great life after those fetishes! It is something you can daily decide, but most important, you can reconcile with your manly side if you are commited to do so. Take cold showers and make exercise, these are the two things that mostly have made wonders for me.
    I still have a long road ahead, but I'm sure we can be the men we were always meant to be.
    I send you my best wishes, bro :D
     
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  4. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    A lots of guys here were into extreme fetishes and lots od guys felt like shit. You did the first step, it won't be easy, but I hope you will achieve your goals.
     
  5. BeastModeAlpha9

    BeastModeAlpha9 Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude, I know that you are going through a rough time at the moment. There is no easy way around this issue, I've been going through a similar thing myself and it really does come down to having the right support around you and also truly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. If you are struggling with sP then there is reverse sP which basically reverses the feminine triggers and replaced them with masculine ones. Some may disagree but you are better off PMOing to that and then eventually quitting rather than PMOing to the feminizing stuff. Hope this helps bro
     
  6. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    Its addiction that numbed and changed you..if you were gay you would already create a gay romantic relationship, i assume. but you are straight gy trapped in addictions , You used sexuality as your drug to live off, and that drug led to its courses and you ended up in this situation.
    Same as how no heroin junkie wanted to be so in the first place, but a chain of substance based escalations brought him down to his knees in the streets..

    Saying that, Theres no use to intellectualize it further, accept the fact that you will always have the seed of sexual addiction and that it will be a life of constant mindfulness and effort to sobriety.
    The bottom line is, its all about breaking a habit from now on. So dont think about the meaning behind its arousal, its emptyness.
    You have a job in life:
    To not touch yourself in those areas at all,
    To not look for any porn/dirty chats/any sexual article..
    To not try to orgasm alone, you orgasm Alone and you make love with loneliness, and loniless is what sticks to you.
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    It's clear you're not gay since gay sex turned you off. Stop watching porn. It's messing with your brain
     
  8. hd47

    hd47 Fapstronaut

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    Wow porn is really a brainwash.
     
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  9. AngeZarate10

    AngeZarate10 Fapstronaut

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    wow.
    i've a compulsive foot fetish.
    when i closed with p&m, i've better sex.
    sometimes i fall in the foot fetish, but now it's real.
     
  10. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Where could u find reverse sP videos? The ones which I've found are traps, at the end it's changing to sissy hypno again...
     
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  11. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    They exist. But it's just more porn. Just stop watching porn and let your body do the healing
     
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  12. BeastModeAlpha9

    BeastModeAlpha9 Fapstronaut

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    Ah nah bro don't watch them ones, I mean probably the best thing to do is stop watching porn all together, but if you do end up doing it you're better off doing it to porn that is telling you positive things IMO. I've had a problem with hypnosis stuff found a more positive straight version and it's helped a lot. But that's what I think anyway.
     
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  13. Gasdreamer

    Gasdreamer New Fapstronaut

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    "if you orgasm alone you are making love to loneliness"
    That's a great saying I will probably memorize
     
  14. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    Welcome aboard. I hope to see your 2nd message while you've decided you want yourself a better meaningful productive loving healthy and joyful life.
     
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  15. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You are not transgender, there is no such thing as transgender. It's just gender disorder caused by porn, masturbation and low self esteem and/or other factors.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2019
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  16. Rebooter45674

    Rebooter45674 Fapstronaut

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    Just remember one thing : porn is not equal to life. Life is greater than any fetish. You want to achieve something and can be achieved by you.
    Helps me to stay away.
     
    Roady likes this.
  17. chiyu

    chiyu Fapstronaut

    By your description, this all sounds more like a fetish than a core sexual identity. In any case, the heavy porn use is complicating your feelings, especially this kind of porn which is particularly potent and dangerous. A full PMO reset will help you re-orient to your true self, free from the cloud of psychological manipulations. At that point, depending on how you feel, you can decide what path you want to take forward.
     
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