Platonic vs Romantic relationships

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Lew, Dec 16, 2017.

  1. Lew

    Lew Fapstronaut

    I'm really bad at viewing new friends as just friends. I'm quietly analysing every new person I meet as a potential partner and it's really not healthy. I need to be able to meet people (no matter how attractive or compatible they may be) and build meaningful friendships with them.

    I think part of it may be down to BPD (borderline personality disorder) because we have a fear of rejection and abandonment. So I think I'm constantly trying to take relationships to the next level because it feels less likely that they will disappear from my life. Which doesn't really make sense because it would hurt even more losing a partner as opposed to a friend.
  2. I can relate. I sometimes think everyone is out to get me. I struggle with trusting people and sometimes I even think my friends secretly hate me and are just pretending to be my friend.
  3. Lew

    Lew Fapstronaut


    Yeah!! You get it. I'm exactly the same :/ I've isolated myself from everybody for that exact reason.
  4. Jerry91

    Jerry91 New Fapstronaut

    That is me in a nutshell my friend! I have felt like that towards almost every attractive girl I've ever met throughout my life. Every time I fall in love I think: "She is The One" - I am saved! Redeemed! Fulfilled!

    Then after I while Life Happens of course and all of that intense joy & wonder vanishes and leaves me feeling utterly empty inside, until the next episode...
    ultrafabber, Shaque118 and Dr_prof like this.
  5. aussieguy

    aussieguy Fapstronaut

    hey I feel the same way
    but I don't think it's psychotic, it's just normal.

    if your therapist thinks you may have a disorder than you need to take that seriously. but everyone is afraid of rejection, and we learn resilience and how to deal with it over time. if we avoid those painful lessons (maybe through PMO use) then we become more and more afraid of it... the cycle of addiction.

    I know for myself, I really enjoy the feeling the psychologists call "collapsing ego boundaries" - when we fall in love we merge with the other and we fully identify with them, it makes the act of sex so compelling and fulfilling, and addictive... I know this is why I always think about everyone I meet in romantic terms.

    this is one of my goals for 90 days, to regain the platonic view of people I meet and form friendships.
    Arohamystic, Dr_prof and J. Fylz like this.
  6. J. Fylz

    J. Fylz Fapstronaut

    Excellent personal commitment my friend.
    Arohamystic likes this.
  7. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

    I relate to that too.
    J. Fylz likes this.
  8. anje

    anje Fapstronaut

    Me too! I really struggle to trust others because I fear they will leave me. Caused me so many problems and even made me lie to try and not lose someone. Then I lost them anyway. Crappy.
    Arohamystic likes this.
  9. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    I struggle with this too. I find it difficult to have platonic relationships with girls because of this. I'm making it my goal too. :)

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